FORGOTTEN CLASSICS: VAMPIRE DENTIST
11.27.09Today’s forgotten classic is 2006′s (yes, believe it or not, this movie is from just three years ago) comes by way of commenter Jacktion!, who writes:
I saw what was probably the worst movie ever made this weekend. It’s called Vampire Dentist. All of the outdoor night scenes were filmed during the day, and just have a blue filter on them to make it look dark. Except the sky is still bright. There was no real plot to speak of. The story did move along, but fairly inexplicably. For some reason, the vampires only seem to attack people when they’re bending down to pick something up, often litter. I think the moral of the story is, “F-ck the environment. If you try to clean sh-t up, you’re asking for a good biting.” This movie had no blood, no swearing, and no nudity, so there was nothing to distract you from how awful it was. It was so bad that it came all the way back around and became fantastic, and then went back around and was awful again. If you put this on your queue, Netflix will recommend that you put a bullet in your brain. This move was so bad that it makes Seltzer/Friedberg movies look like Tyler Perry movies, and makes Twilight movies look like Cannonball Run movies.
I dunno, I enjoyed how you can tell they’re vampires by the black and red capes. Check out the must-see interview with the director after the jump. Vampire Dentist: it’s not your mother’s vampire fi– check that, actually it is. Sorry for the mix up.

*unzips pants*
What? It’s not like I’m doing anything else here at work.
In my defense, it wasn’t my idea to watch the movie.
how did you even find this movie jack??
I hung out with a friend who had found it on Instant Netflix through Xbox Live. So when a couple of us went to his apartment, he had to spread the wealth. It’s absolutely awful, but I recommend seeing it, just so you realize how bad movies can actually get.
BTK, I understand Film Nazi loved this movie.
Translated: Jack! was high.
It took 5 months to film this!?
Burnsy, please don’t slander me. I may want to run for office one day.
Technically, that was libel. Not slander.
Wow, look at the commenters on this post. It feels like 2008 in here.
What’s this, a post? Thank God!. Do you know what this means?? I don’t have to do work!!
Oh. Vampire Dentist. I see. I imagine he spends a lot of time putting fang-shaped crowns on goth chick’s canines.
I don’t know, Luch. Your avatar was gayer in 2008.
Wasn’t my avatar a picture of me in 2008? I dont see how th……WAIT A SECOND!!
Edward Cullen will be a dentist as long as he doesn’t have to drill anyone.
I saw Precious on Wednesday. I just have to say, that the guy who played B.I.G. in Notorious was awesome as the lead.
Jack!, that wasn’t the guy that played B.I.G. That was ZomB.I.G.
No? Well fuck you too then!