11.03.09 CONTEXT-FREE ROBERT PATTINSON PICTURE OF THE DAY

Cob Gobbler.

He thought they said Emo Porn…

But vampires don’t eat food?!? I call shennanigans.

That LOL-bster is tuning in “Dumbfuck-ee-oo” on ass-stain there!

Rolling Rock will quickly brew a batch of True Bud.

Rolling Rock? I thought he starred in an absinthe parable?

He heard somebody call a lobster the cockroach of the sea and was sold. Turns out it’s made from neither dicks nor marijuana. That’s disappointment setting in.

If he lived in China, he could eat crushed Asian every day.

That deck is made of Bellawood.

Seeing his carefully styled “bed head,” shaped stubble and sweater, I’m thinking we might finally know who will replace Joel McHale at “The Soup.”

Oh, since this is context free, The Mighty Feklahr is going to tell a joke a nun once told Him (no horse-shit, Wang!):

A lizard, a camel, and a rabbit come upon a small plot of land away from the city and decide to farm it. Lizard and camel start plowing the field and have rabbit take a wheelbarrow to gather manure from a distant pasture.

While rabbit is away on his gruesome, daunting task, lizard and camel strike oil in the field! Knowing they are instant millionaires, they have a mansion put up that very afternoon.

Now ol’ rabbit, after spending a hard day in the field grubbing through manure, makes his way back at sunset. He is dead tired and wants nothing more than a large supper, a bath, and a bed. Much to his surprise, a large mansion has been built on the small farm!

Rabbit walks to the door and knocks. The butler answers and rabbit asks, “Where is lizard?”

The butler replies, “Mr. Liz-ARD is out in the YARD.”

Rabbit, feeling a bit miffed inquires further, “What about camel???”

The butler replies, even more condescendingly, “Mr. Cam-EL is out by the WELL!”

Rabbit twitches his nose a little, stands up straight, and in his best austere accounting states, “Well, my good butler, please tell Mr. Cam-EL out by the WELL, and Mr. Liz-ARD out in the YARD that Mr. Rab-BIT is here with the…!”

context free fact: I was watching panic room the other day and realized the daughter is kristen stewart, she´s totally lesbian there.

J. Crew’s new “Virgin Islands” winter line.

“The bottle or the cob,” Robert wondered silently. For he was finally going to answer his longstanding question of what he can fit up his ass sideways.

Vampire Weekend?

COCK LOBSTER!

@argentino: You’d best bite your lip when talking about Kristen Stewart!

After finishing his meal, Rob didn’t ask his waiter for the bill, he asked for the tip.

You could get Lyme Disease if you walk through his hair.

It should come as no surprise that Rob passed on the pie.

corn is the anal beads of nature

Grade School Teacher: Ok, Mr. Pattinson, spell the word “dictate”.

Young Robert Pattinson: D-I-C-K…*classroom erupts with laughter*

Grade School Teacher: That’s enough. Now, Mr. Pattinson, use that word in a sentence.

Young Robert Pattinson: After my uncle fucked me in the arse, he made me blow him and his “dictate” like shit.

As Robert pulled the corn cob from his mouth, he wondered to himself, “Is it gay that I ate this all in one bite?”

Rob holds his corn the same way he likes to be held. By the ears.

someone please put some garlic on that lobster.