After the jump I’ve got a brand new featurette from Avatar in HD showing a bunch of new footage, along with a bunch of screencaps I’ve helpfully taken so that you don’t have to watch it. I want to praise this movie, I really do, only I can’t get a word in because everyone involved is too busy praising it themselves. Here are some of the best, totally-not-hyperbolic statements from the video:
“He’s taking you on a journey, and it’s just beyond words.”
“We were creating an entire world from scratch.”
“It just doesn’t have a precedent.”
“One thing I’m always going to take with me from this is that I was a part of a revolutionary experience.” [*puts on Che shirt* Righteous, man, righteous. *smokes clove*]
“We’re always trying to push the envelope. This time we were trying to push the envelope, and it pushed back. And then we pushed harder. And it took a long time.” [Push harder! I think I see the head!]
“It doesn’t look like anything you’ve seen before.” [*cough* Ferngully! *cough, cough* Also - it' amazing that the aliens wear baseball caps and have beads in their hair. I've never seen anything like it.]
“It’s not just a movie, it’s a universe.”
Of course it is. You guys created a whole universe. When you think about it, you’re better than God. Because God’s boring old universe didn’t have neon cat people, did it. Hey, you guys wanna see my impression of everyone involved with Avatar?
That’s right, Avatar = cow drinking milk from its own udder.
[cow video via angryclam.com]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Wolverine-Tripod-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/JenniferLawrence-Mystique-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Gosling-Refn-God-Forgives3-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/MichaelBJordan-Human-Torch-150x150.jpg)
I bet their universe doesn’t have retard MMA. Losers.
The Mighty Feklahr’s avatar looks more like a dwarven fighter with a battle axe in one hand, and an orc themed fleshlight in another.
Fact. Blue aliens love fried chicken. Fact.
“It’s not just a movie, it’s a universe.”
No, it is just a movie, actually. A movie with Rastafarian cat people and Sigourney Weaver. Calm the f-ck down.
If I could do what that cow does, I’d never leave the slaughterhouse.
Hey, I got the first three Alien movies on DVD for $13 at Wal Mart.
What? I don’t want to talk about this shitpile of a movie!
I’ve never seen so much shit get spewed by someone named Cameron that wasn’t Cameron Diaz or Kirk Cameron.
It’s just Aliens with more Dakka and blue cats, which is actually all i want in a movie.
He’s taking you on a journey, and it’s just beyond words.
Trish said the same thing about Rooster.
“Good news, we can fly you to an alien planet and graft your DNA with that of an alien, follow that up with a mind-meld thingy, thereby allowing you to infiltrate their species and take them out.”
“And what about my paralysis? How’s that coming?”
“We’re not miracle workers, dude.”
We were creating an entire world from scratch.
Marking the first time that the rash came after the scratch.
I haven’t been this excited not to see something since I found out Wanda Sykes is getting her own show.
I hate their little quirk of having to say “da boo dee da boo daa” after every sentence.
Banner Pic: Even blue cat people enjoy “that guy” pics.
I’ll probably go see this if I can manage to avoid hearing too much about it. Cameron rarely lets me down.
“Wait, this isn’t a Dreamworks production? Then why am I making this face?”
I don’t get what the big deal is about this universe. They fly around on dinosaurs. We got giant freakin ships. These disfigured felines are only a meteor away from losing existentialism.
Boy, I’m sure glad they spent years and tens of millions of dollars animating aliens that are human enough that actors in makeup and prosthetics could easily have played them!
If done long enough, choke ‘bating will turn your kitty blue.
More like James Cameronanism. Whackety.
You naysayers lack vision.
[MechWarrior air-guitar]
This featurette only served to remind me that Smurfette is way sexier than that fugly blue hippie in the banner pic.
*clears throat*
I’d hit that.
I wonder what happened to the rest of the cast from Meatballs 2.
Another reason to not want to see this movie? Blue cat chicks like to keep it “au naturel.”
Seriously, though, why are they trying to auto-fellate what would be an otherwise moderately interesting movie? All of their bullshit blurbs and talking points are just so Harry Knowles has something to parrot after he jerks one out to this mediocre popcorn flick.
“He’s taking you on a journey, and it’s just beyond words.”
“We were creating an entire world from scratch.”
“It just doesn’t have a precedent.”
“One thing I’m always going to take with me from this is that I was a part of a revolutionary experience.”
ALL HORSE SHIT! THIS IS STAR WARS FUCKING EPISODE ONE ALL OVER AGAIN, BUT LESS COOL.
Fek, respectfully, there’s no way this will be worse than Episode I.
Wow.
I disagree. There’s no way this will be worse than Episode II.
If this ends up worse than Episode III I will eat my hat.
My hat covered in spikes.
or Episode VI
The producers of Delgo have their fingers crossed for this movie.
$20 says the soundtrack is done by the Diva Plavalaguna. I hope she gets shot again, mid-voice shreik.
If a cat gets blue enough, it will throw itself in front of a moving car. Nine times.
I have a feeling this movie will land on it’s feet.
Terrence Howard could handle this. Just give him an upright bass and a microphone and these blue cats will be right as rain, ya dig?
Fuck, people rail on Ep I all the time, but their arguments amount to shit when He tosses “Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon/Maul Lightsaber Fight and Accompanying Music” in their face.
Other than that, you can still say whatever the fuck you want about Episode I, but it doesn’t make fucking Avatar any more magical or pioneering.
Besides, The Mighty One never commented on whether or not Avatar would be WORSE than Ep I, He simply stated Ep I is cooler. His case is simple: Ep I has fucking lightsaber fights.
That headband really brings out the blue in your… uh, face.
Fek, Episode I and Jake Lloyd’s acting run circles around Episode II and Hayden Christiansen’s “acting”.
Jack!-in case it wasn’t insinuated, He is totally with you on Ep II.
Star Wars Ep II is the Star Trek 5 of Star Wars.
Hmm…with the “previous” and “next” buttons up there, His “new up” gag is totally fucked.
they not only pushed the envelope, it looks like they took a dump in the envelope, lit the envelope on fire and then stomped that muphukin envelope into oblivion!! this isn’t a movie, it’s the end of civilization as we know it!!
“We were creating an entire world from scratch.”
Pfft, big deal. Vince created this entire world from *record* scratch.
“I feel like I, you know, created the greatest single piece of art to ever grace this world, which will likely remain the greatest piece of art ever.”
- Darren, catering