11.03.09 ACTUALLY OPTIONED: ‘ROBOPOCALYPSE’
(My mistake, this is actually a Birdemic, not a Robopocalypse, I must’ve gotten the slides mixed up.)
Dreamworks today bought the rights to an unpublished novel called Robopocalypse, which of course is the erotic story of the first lesbian to play in the WNBA.
The angry-robots story line has played out in movies such as the “Terminator” series, “I, Robot” and the two “Transformers” films [wrong, though we would've accepted "The Matrix." -Ed.]
But Daniel H. Wilson, an actual Ph.D. in robotics, has grounded his tale with a heavy degree of authenticity derived from real robot technology.
“Daniel H. Wilson’s cautionary tale of man versus machine grabbed us from the very beginning,” said Dreamworks’ Mark Sourian. “Wilson’s background in robotics and artificial intelligence grounds his story with a frightening level of realism.”
Wilson added: “Writing this novel is an incredible thrill, after spending years studying and thinking about robotics. My hope is that the story we tell will make the robots of the future proud of us humans.” [THR]
Let’s see, so you took the premise of a bunch of other science fiction movies and added more realism and a literal title? Well, done, man, that’s great. (*pats Wilson on the back while secretly taping “kick me i’m a huge dork” sign to it*) Wilson is also known for writing such previous titles as (and I’m not making any of these up): – How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion, Bro-Jitsu: The Martial Art of Sibling Smackdown, - How to Build a Robot Army: Tips on Defending Planet Earth Against Aliens, Ninjas, and Zombies and - The Mad Scientist Hall of Fame: Muwahahaha! So congrats to Daniel Wilson, or, as he’s known to friends, “I thought I told you to stop calling here.”
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/Terminator-businessmen-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/Kurtzman-Orci-Manbaby-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/12/DamnYankees2-150x150.jpg)
There are 59 comments about:
ACTUALLY OPTIONED: ‘ROBOPOCALYPSE’
I’ll need to wait to get my favorite android panda pharmacist’s opinion on this.
Bah, robots are such unworthy foes. A simple game of Vulcan charades followed by a dancing helmsman is usually enough to melt down their whole network.
Somewhere in Detroit is an unemployed automotive engineer crying into an unpublished manuscript titled Carmageddon.
FEEL MY WRATH! THE ROBOPOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN!
ALRIGHT! I’M IN!!!!
Somewhere in a San Fransisco nightclub is a male escort weeping into his unpublished manifesto titles Homopocalysp Now.
How do you stop a charging robot?
Unplug the cord.
And by that I mean I’ve finished writing my last post at Warming Glow and now the drinking can
commencecontinue.“Wilson’s background in robotics and artificial intelligence grounds his story with a frightening level of realism.”
Yes, any time I watch any of the Terminator movies I can’t help but think how much better they would be if they were more realistic
United they stand. Divide by zero they fall.
Any army that can be destroyed with a little static electricity and dust is not a threat.
[goes back to menacing robots with Tazer]
See, this is why I kick the shit out of my Roomba every now and again. Gotta keep that lil fucker in its place.
Crappy, that’s my cousin! It’s cool though. He beats his wife anyway.
Hey Wilson, I’ve got a PhD as well
*points at crotch, remembers he’s Asian, hangs head in shame*
serious
Read Ray Kurzweil’s Age of Spiritual Machines and if you don’t get a chill you’re not paying attention. AI and sentient or more acuate if not cliche, self aware machines are not nearly as fantastical as it would seem.
Nerd out!
/serious
My unpublished erotic novel of the first lesbian to play in the NFL is titled Romopocalpse. Jessica Simpson is currently attached…to my groin.
But will there be robot fucking?
Did someone call me?
There will be plenty of fucking in Rabbitpocalypse.
Does Al say that line every time you guys mention that movie that starred Haley Joel Osment as Robonoccio?
<— is old and prone to repetition
I like the scene in Robopocalypse where Fulgore, the robot from Killer Instinct talks about how he loves the smell of searing human flesh in the morning.
<— is young, dumb, and full of robocum. Kinda like Bishop in Aliens.
The Hobopocalypse is gonna be a bummer.
Or the aerial assault on the village where they blast ‘Ride of the Binary’ on loudspeakers
one one one one ZE-RO
one one one one ZE-RO
one one one one ZEEEEERO
one one one one one.
Willard: At first I thought they typed in the wrong DOS command. I can’t believe they wanted this man dead. Third generation Powerbook, top of his class. Adobe, Java, about a thousand decorations, etcetera, etcetera
I like the part where Donk thinks he has to explain who Fulgore is to this crowd.
Two. Fulgore just got c-c-c-c-combo breakered!
The SloMopocalypse takes forever!
I’d rather watch Cocopopalypse…
“Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy! And punchy, and bitey, and stabby!”
Fulgore was a pussy character anyway.
I’m already working on making the robots of the future proud of me by not f’cking my toaster anymore.
Much.
CHARLIE DON’T SURF THE INTERNET!
The noMoPocalypse is where I shirk my work duties and try to amuse Crappy by posting dumb shit on a movie blog.
I’d rather watch Mel Gibson’s Robopocalypto, filmed entirely in FORTRAN.
He stole my script! I wrote it during a three day bender on cough syrup. Its called Gorobopacolypse. Sympathetic robots from the future grab the corners of the room to stop it from spinning after I shot up my manager’s office in a tussin fueled rampage. Boo-ya!
Anyone who has a Ph.D. in robotics ought to know that the only threat posed by a fucking robot is a potential broken toe, incurred whilst kicking the piece of shit out of frustration as it goes on the fucking fritz again.
Anyone who owns a Youtube account knows that when the robot malfunctions and falls down the stairs a team of Japanese guys with a giant shade will intantly appear to hide the robot’s shame.
…or perhaps even instantly. Curse my metal body! I wasn’t fast enough to cancel Submit Comment.
Having perused Daniel-son’s website, he appears to be the media go to guy for all things bollocks. Nice gig. He’s certainly earning.
You should only be concerned about the Slobopocalypse if you’re an ethnic Albanian.
[slides into room wearing nothing but tube socks, opening strings of Seger's We Got Tonight start playing]
Wait, I fucked that up didn’t I?
I love the noMoPocalypse!
[texts noMo pic of taint]
SCIENCE!!
<—–noMo loves tube socks. Are they on your feet or are you kicking it Chili Pepper style?
Duechapacalypse is the name of Limp Bizkit’s reunion tour.
Feet, junk, hands… so I don’t scratch myself while I sleep.
Nevermind. Just got your text.
The BooBoopocalypse involves bow tie wearing bears generally sad tromboning all over the fucking place when the hipster, hat wearing, picnic hamper stealing bears want to get their freak on. Sponsored by Kellogg’s.
Chino sells socks. Website is Chinosox. Has hot chicks in tube socks. You’re welcome.
HAHA! That was my dog’s taint! PSYCHE!
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