10.20.09 DUDE, THIS WAS A CHAPPELLE SKETCH
One interesting phenomena of the movie business is that if you can get a star attached to a project, a studio will pay you, no matter how dumb or half-assed the pitch is, even if the entirety of your idea is a stick figure drawn on a napkin in lipstick under the words “time machine.” 
Last week there was a six to seven-figure deal for Ryan Reynolds in drag. Today, the star is Disney jailbait Selena Gomez. The pitch? An old sketch from Chappelle’s Show. I’m not even exaggerating.
[The project]:
“New Line’s decided to find out “What Boys Want,” snapping up the comedy pitch by Amy Andelson and Emily Meyer and attaching teen star Selena Gomez to topline. Story centers on a teenage girl who can hear what men are thinking.” [Variety][Dave Chappelle's intro to a sketch called "What Men Want"]:
“You ever see that movie, What Women Want, with Mel Gibson? Where he could read women’s minds? See that’s the kinda movie you could only do with a guy, like Mel Gibson. You couldn’t do the opposite of that movie, What Men Want, because it’d be too gross, and disgusting.”
Now what the hell am I supposed to write? Dave Chappelle already wrote the joke for this post five years ago. The best part is, a stoned comedian took the idea a step further in a one-minute sketch than two writers did in a pitch they probably got paid a few hundred grand for. The upside to making utterly forgettable movies is that you can just make them again a few years later and no one notices.
There are 38 comments about:
DUDE, THIS WAS A CHAPPELLE SKETCH
When I was a teenage girl, I had the ability to hear what men were thinking. I thought I was deaf until I started hanging out with women.
So she’s going to walk around slapping men all day?
*logs into Fandango to preorder tickets*
The Mighty Feklahr would like to see the look on Selena’s face when she walks in on a Filmdrunk LAN
CEparty.Great, two hours of boys’ inner thoughts like: “Shit, six minutes left in Algebra and I still have this boner.”
Selena: “AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I DON’T KNOW WHY IT’S BURNED, NIC!!!”
If it involves Rick James and the false imprisonment of Selena Gomez I think they have a winner. And sodomy. I likes the sodomy.
I’m writing a film about hearing the inner thoughts of teenage boys who see Selena Gomez movies. It’s called, “Daddy Cried.”
If women could hear my thoughts I’d probably get arrested walking around campus.
If Mila Kunis could hear my thoughts she’d probably go buy a chastity belt and a few cans of bear mace.
This project is moving along faster than expected. In fact, they’ve already announced a director. Yup, Roman Polanski.
If Selena Gomez could hear my thoughts shed probably. . . wait a sec, someone’s at the door.
Oh hi! Say, you look just like that Chris Hanson guy. What can I do you for?
I’m not entirely sure Selena Gomez could understand what men were thinking even if she could hear them.
When I was a teenage girl, I could hear what men were thinking. 99% of the thoughts came from just behind their fly.
I can hear your thoughts and no, I’m not a dyke. I really just do not find you attractive.
Not since “Wife Swap” has Chappelle been so robbed. And not until Obama announces the race draft in 2011 will be be so robbed again.
When Selena’s character meets Andy Dick she’s slightly confused because it seems all Andy keeps thinking about is his last name.
Be be. Not as funny as do do, but still, I giggled and snotted.
Woha Chino, does that mean I can hear the thoughts of all women? I get that a lot.
They’re already working on a sequel in which she transfers to a predominantly white school. She’ll be shocked to discover not all boys just want you to buy oranges.
I can hear your thoughts and no, you can’t stick it in my butt.
She’ll spend half the film waiting for the big surprise party the guys are planning for her 18th birthday.
I can hear your thoughts. Answer? Completely shaved.
They could film this at a Seminary school and call it “What Wants Boys”.
I can hear your thoughts and no, I’m not interested in a threesome with my younger sister.
She’s a terrible lay, trust me. I know.
I can hear your thoughts. Answer? Swallows.
If we could hear Salena’s thoughts it would probably be similar to that high off-air tone they used to play late at night on network stations.
I’ve applied to be Selena’s fan club president. Haven’t heard anything back yet, but I remain optimistic.
*crosses fingers, chambers round*
Miz, maybe next time under “Reason you should be president” don’t write “We’re wearing the same Hello Kitty underwear today, well the bush was obscuring my binoculars but I think they’re the same”?
Chino, hate to be the one that breaks it to ya, but He got off the abstinence bus last weekend. Your on your own now.
*tee hee hee…”got off” the bus…
Michael Jackson is pissed that he’s dead, he could’ve learned so much from watching this
Thanks for sharing, Fek.
*stabs vibrator through heart*
There’s a bus?! Fuck, I wore out three pairs of
socksshoes not knowing that!I’ve been able to hear what women’s thoughts really are for decades…..
…and no…..I have no idea where you put your keys……
do any of you realize that Trading Spouses was also a Chappelle sketch… and was blatantly ripped off by ABC (concept) and exact title (Fox)… yes, ABC came up with the concept first, but Fox beat them to air with the first show
Wasn’t the Chappelle sketch called “trading races”? But yes, I do remember that.
Mark It Zero, he be on it.
Hey I’d watch the movie if it was Dave’s version! hahaha
A Chappelle retreats to Africa yet again. Thanks alot white people.
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