So here’s that new clip from Twilight: New Moon that went up on iTunes today. In this one, Bella Swan (no seriously, that’s the character’s actual name) has a falling out with her chaste, sparkling white vampire boyfriend and has to go live in the woods with the ethnic temptation wolves. You know how the minorities are, all passionate and hot blooded and spicy, listening to their loud music on the corners and all turning into giant wolves when they get angry. To be honest, I’m actually thinking of seeing this movie now, it looks kind of awesome. It has wolves the size of buffalo. The only thing that could make it better? You guessed it, bearsharktopus.
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So, the cool kids are vampires in the first movie, the…ethnic kids are werewolves in the second movie, so it only stands to reason that in the third movie the MMORPG kids will be zombies, and in the fourth the vanners will be pederasts!
INVIZIBUL GIANT TENNIS BAWL!
At first I thought the make-up girl was busy prepping a gay porn shoot and then wow, things got weird and boring.
And here I was thinking they were big pussies.
Twilight is like Mamma Mia for closet fags and fat hairy women.
Vince: go rent Havoc instead, it’s essentially the same story plus Anne Hathaway’s tits.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!
Tits?
The ethnic werewolves con’t live in town, they live in Tenedor, Or.
anne hathaways tits you say?
Aroooo, werewolves of Oregon.
I know ethnic people that actually wear wolves.
*whispers*
Injuns
Peet: Rent? Don’t you mean google video search……close the shades…….take out special sock…….masturbate alone quietly?
Sock? I always masturbate into a condom, so if I get with some chick and she wants me to wear one, I put one of those on inside out. Because fuck her.
If that Taylor guy’s brow ridge were any lower it’d be touching his chin.
The Ugly Duckling just compared itself with the Bella Swan and suddenly feels really good about itself.
Spike Lee talking to New Moon director Chris Weitz:
SL: Listen man, this story needs to be told by a black director. A white director wouldn’t have the life experiences necessary to relate to the plight of the ethnic werewolves.
CW: What the fuck are you talking about
In the next book Meyer will introduce the Queen of the Werewolves, Feo Pollo.
Apparently, cock is ethnic food.
Anybody know where I can find a good ethnic restaurant?
If you’ve ever seen a restaurant kitchen, you know they are all ethnic restaurants.
New Moon deleted scene: estranged from Bella, who is busy resisting the ethnic werewolves in the woods, Robert Pattinson’s whatever-the-fuck-he’s-named character fends off Mexican streetwalkers in South Central LA
Ethnic werewolves travel in packs, hunting for Bloods.
Consider;
In Mexico, McDonald’s is ethnic food.
In that, you wonder why you’re eating it cuz you’re gonna get an epic case of the ass later.
I can get cock in a Mexican McDonalds ? I hope the bathrooms are clean.
When Twilight werewolves lick their own balls, it’s not only indecent exposure, it’s ethnic cleansing.
The juicy McCock cums with it’s own dipping sauce.
Size-wise, the Mexican McCock falls somewhere in between the Chinese McCock and the Caucasian McCock.
Morgan Spurlock is such a fag.
Yes, I’d like to super-size that McCock.
Super-sized McCocks are always burnt.
For safety’s sake, why don’t you bag that McCock.
How many ethnic werewolves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just Juan! *holds up a single finger*
I would just like a Mc, please. That’s right, hold the Cock.
They should Mcget to work on that Two Hungry Holes to Feed marketing program, I’ll tell you wut.
In my experience, I’ve found the McCock to be more enjoyable with some Coke.
You’ll find the McCock in between two buns.
I’m cool with sharing McCock with a Sweet Tea.
Lorena Bobbitt wants her McCock to go.
Ironically, what we consider “ethnic werewolves” in America are really just “bagged lunch” in China
McCock get needs to get pickled to hold the mayo.
I hope they bring the McRibbed one back.
getThis is shaping up to be the gayest race war ever.
Morgan Spurlock is such a fag.
Fuck you, DeFrank! I am not!
GIVE THAT GOD DAMN DOG A MCCOCK!
A “McCockblock” is when an Irishman is denied service at McDonald’s
Me, too, Shop. It gave me such pleasure.
An Irishman gets a Shamrock Shake behind the dumpster.
I like my McCock to Mess-a-me with seed.
Silly DeFrank. McCocks are for kitties!
Ethnic werewolves howl while pouring 40s for their dead homies.
So the first book was an expression of the author’s desire to fuck a teenage boy. Now we’ve moved on to the furtive glances she makes at her German Shepherd???
Mormon porn is creepy.
Keep my McCock ‘n nuggets away from the salad plz, thx.
The McCock’s asshole neighbor enjoys a nice tossed salad.
The most popular McCock is the Big N’ Tasty.
Giva a McCock to an asshole and you can expect a Grimace.
It’s not the wolves the size of Buffalo that are the problem, it’s the cheap cab drivers that live on them.
I can’t even begin to guess what toy the Happy Meal comes with nowadays.
@Shop: a copy of The Pianist on BluRay.
Free diabetes Shop.
“@Shop: a copy of The Pianist on BluRay.”
…which was directed by Roman Polanski. The sheer number of implications is mindblowing
Now I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse McCock!
I’m quite certain that makes no sense, but I choose to stand by it.
The wonderful thing about the McCock is the more you put it in your mouth, the bigger it gets!
As toys go, a copy of The Pianist wouldn’t be so bad. It’s not something I’m likely to lose in my ass.
Ethnic werewolves pronounce her name “Bay-yuh”.
fuck all the haters of new moon. why the hell did u even bother to watch it if you hate it!!?!? You guys are fucking stupid
What the fuck are you talking about, the movie’s not even out yet, dipshit.
Wow guys, just from your comments I can tell how much you like cock you know “the pot calling the kettle black” only insecure ignorant people make negative comments about people they don’t even know. So try keeping his cock or your dildo to or in yourself, and your ass as tight as you can…yup squeeze! lol cause it’s starting to look like this “O” lmao
only insecure ignorant people make negative comments about people they don’t even know.
Well, since you don’t know any of us, welcome to the club. Pull up a cock and join the fun.
Hey sarcasm, how many cats do you have?
If two wrongs made a right, then it would be legal to fuck underage retards.
Hey sarcasm I’ve forgotten, what’s it like to be a 13yo with a learning disability?
I’m glad there’s finally someone her to stick up for Stephanie Meyer, who is probably rolling around in a giant pile of money and cats.
The pot just said that the kettle likes fried chicken! LOL!
Hey sarcasm, what shape is your asshole? Triangle? Trapezoid? Cuz mine’s definitely “O” shaped. Well, more “*” shaped to be honest.
I can’t really describe what my asshole looks like since the colostomy. :(
Mine is shaped like this “$”
Awww, yeah….
I wish more people understood that this scene is just a metaphor for how Meyer wants to “wolf” down the semen of shirtless ethnic boys.
Wait. Maybe we’re all missing the point. Her screen-name is sarcasm_4_fun, right? Maybe she’s just being sarcastic to have some fun with us and thinks we’re all witty and handsome/pretty?
Nah. You’re probably right. She’s just a pimple faced fatty that smells like a rotten pork loin that was left raw on the counter too long.
I’m glad my butthole is shaped like “O”. That’s exactly why I got a W tattooed on each of my butt cheeks. When I bend over, it says “WOW”
Also, when I do cartwheels, it says “WOW MOM”. It’s a good way to show my appreciation.
What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, Twitards don’t understand how sex works.
That’s funny Chino. My dick is that shape too. Everytime I use it, it costs me something.
Hey sarcasm, how many times have you watched the Fred Figglehorn videos?
Hey sarcasm, what do you like best about the skidmarks on your magic underwear?
When she gets all dolled up for Twilight premieres, sarcasm_4_fun looks like retarded mutton dressed as stupid lamb.
I always just assumed my butthole was thumb-shaped. I mean, why else would it fit up there so perfectly?
Sarcasm is4 fun but fuck-raping sarcasm_4_fun is all business 4 me.
They’re not skid marks, Crappy. They’re racing stripes. They come from running to the bathroom to beat the diarrhea that comes from a diet consisting entirely of Doritos and Hot Pockets.
Hey sarcasm, how are you gonna spend the money you got from that Thalidomide settlement?
How many Twihards does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Twihards don’t screw!
Hey Sarcasm, how do those fashionable clothes from the Torrid online store fit you?
Let’s play a game:
How many of you can sit through an entire movie trailer without shrieking and crying?
Hey Sarcasm – I am a vanner. I have a custom Twilight van. Would you like to see the inside?
I have candy.
I like candy.
Hey! Where ya goin?
Werewolf chasing Lord’s van: Wait for me! I like *candy* too!!!
I love the Christmas season. It’s a time to remind us that we shouldn’t fight with each other; we should gang up on witless retards instead.
It’s entirely possible that it is just one of the special children that post here posing as a twitard but the authenticity of the run-on sentences is very convincing.
Hrm… the more I think about it and look at the structure of the writing. Sarcasm could easily be Stephanie Myers herself.
One thing is for sure, Sarc is on team Jacob. What a pervy.
If thinking about strong shirtless ethnic teens makes you a perv… wait, where was I going with that?