10.13.09 THIS IS AWESOME & JAPANESE & DRAGON-FILLED
This is the trailer for Assault Girls, directed by Mamoru Oshii, and put at the top of his to-do list by Roman Polanski (haha, good one, Jay!). It opens December 29th in Japan and the trailer’s all in Japanese except for a couple of lines. But as my old home ec teacher Mrs. Stevenson used to say, the language of hot chicks blowing up dragons with guns is universal. It also has robots and J-pop, because why not. And the monsters are vaguely phallic, which I’m sure was totally accidental. I wish Octopussy had been made in Japan. It’d be about a girl with eight vaginas getting raped by an octopus. Works on multiple levels, you see.
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There are 27 comments about:
THIS IS AWESOME & JAPANESE & DRAGON-FILLED
And so what would the octopus use to rape eight vaginas all at once? It’s not like an octopus has eight penises (penii?), right?
I guess I just don’t get it.
so this is what dragonball evolved into?
I rike to touchie your Mamoru. Boobie time! Fishy smell. Fun!
Sorry guys, but this movie looks fucking awesome.
Look at my boner!
True story: Once, while exploring this vast Asian strip mall in Houston, I saw a Japanese place that had Takoyaki. I didn’t know what that was so I went inside to have a look. I asked the girl what exactly Takoyaki was and she said to me; “Ah, dey ah a Squid-a-bahl.” I said “excuse me” and she said again “Squid-a-bahl, squid-a-bahl, you like try?” I like calamari, but “squid-a-bahl” didn’t sound too appetizing.
Later on I found out they were actually octopus balls and I was sad because the place closed and I never got to hear the girl try and say “awwkatoe-puss-bahl”
Getting raped by an octopus is sucky. In a good way.
I thought everything from Japan had robots. Isn’t that a law?
[lines up eleven girls]
Ten tickle, rape.
Ah, Tickle Rape sounds like the favored method of Roman Polanski.
Getting raped by an octopus is sucky. In a good way.
:: feverishly searches Google for Condoms With External Suction Cups For Her Pleasure ::
In Japan you can barter tentacle porn for all sorts of professional services; there’s a whole underground economy based on the precepts of squid pro quo.
The words ‘condoms’ and ‘pleasure’ should never be in the same sentence.
I went camping in Alaska last winter. My tent froze.
I guess you could say it turned in to a “tenticle”.
Why am I the only one laughing at this?
Dragon-filled? That’s what I call my wife’s pussy!
…
Cuz I was born in ‘76.
I’m not laughing because I can’t read :(
Octopus rape is cool because it lasts eight times longer!
I’m not laughing because I’m pulling pubes out of my sack.
So would a girl with eight vaginas ochogasim?
She’d fake it eight times.
Chino, the words “rape” and “pleasure” should never be used in the same sentence.
Substitute “ecstasy” or “pure cosmic bliss” or “Nirvana” instead.
Also, while we’re on the subject of vaginas lemme just get this out there . . .
Polio.
Butter up!
At first I thought this said “Assault Grills”
Xzibit: Hey man, I heard you like flied chicken!!!!
Judging by the name of the movie, Roman Polanski and Chris Brown will reserve seats.
Needs more sphincter-sword wielding robo geishas.
Awesome and Japanese and Dragon filled? Like all the main characters in my favourite movie, 驚くばかりの幸せな脈動のドラゴンの強姦 3000.
Awesome, Japanese and Dragon filled sounds like the most kick ass Twinkie ever!
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