THE NEW A-TEAM LOOKS PHOTOSHOPPY
10.23.09
This is the first official picture of the new A-Team; Brad Cooper as Faceman Peck, Rampage Jackson as B.A. Baracus, Sharlto Copley as Howling Mad Murdock, and Liam Neeson as Hannibal Smith. I’m not sure what they hoped to accomplish with this picture, since it looks like they’re standing in front of one of those backdrops at the mall where grandma can surf on a shark, but this is a Fox movie we’re talking, so just be thankful no one’s wearing fat suit. I hear in the first scene, B.A. paints a giant mural of himself on the side of the van and then sideswipes a pregnant chick.
[via /Film, who have a bigger version of the picture]
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If the goal was to make Liam Neeson look like John Wayne then congratulations are in order.
What’s up with the “Wardrobe by Abercrombie and Suck”? Seriously, if you have a fucking Klingon calling you out on fashion, it’s time to jump off a fucking bridge.
A pregnant white chick, Vince. It was an intermural.
Keanu Reeves just saw this and said, “That black guy looks a little rigid to me…whoa.”
Brad cooper looks like he’s wandered in from the set of Dick Tracy.
More like “The A-Steam” Amirite?
*ducks*
If the Army really wants to find those four, they should check middle school playgrounds.
It looks like they took this picture on a Michael Bay set about a week after he left.
“Howlin’ Mad” Murdoch is just angry because people keep mistaking him for a member of Nickelback.
Hey Rampage, are those Bugle Boy jeans you’re wearing?
Brad Cooper’s head was taken from a previously photochopped pic and photochopped into this one.
Murdoch is Mad cause his mom makes him wear Bugle Boys.
I Pity the Burn Tool.
eff you chino.
George Peppard did like his khakis a little snug in the crotch.
Danny Trejo should play B.A Maracas
(like me, he dresses to both sides)
“Any hack can do 3-D, let’s see James Cameron top our 2½-D posters!”
how the hell do you get two seperate bugle boy references at the same time anyway? *looks over shoulder*
You don’t mean that.
Looks like i picked the wrong week to dress up as Hannibal Smith.
They thought Liam Neeson dawning a set of snow skis was TOO deadly.
*leans back in chair and sips coffee*
Ron Perlman should have played Faceman. What he lacks in quality, he more than makes up in quantity.
Yikes, did I say “dresses” and “me” ? I meant “dressed” and “Oprah”.
The Mighty Feklahr is glad that the fashionistas backed Him up on this one.
This is all a clever ploy to throw the Army off their trail. They figure that they can do a lot of good for people in the time it takes for them to check out every Abercrombie and Fitch store in the greater Los Angeles area.
BONG!!!!!!!!!! A&F joke already used! For shame, Donk.
Did He just lose street cred for calling it “A&F”?
I was going to say Forever 21, but the Swiss authorities started eyeing me suspiciously after I admitted to knowing about that store.
GRRRR…DICK’S SPORTING GOODS!!!
My liver would be much happier had I remained Forever 20.
This banner pic would be better if it showed Jessica Biel naked flashing us her gash. Just sayin’.
Some of you know what I do for a living. That said, I can say with almost absolute certainty that there is something seriously fucked with their van.
Not to mention that if said van was to start going forward, it would go in a fucking circle. Did they even proof that fucking picture?
If you look very closely, you can see the mobile home that Rampage will be living in after this movie falls on it’s dick and the UFC tells him to go fuck himself.
BTK, that’s not a dig on trailers, Fek.
Ten years ago, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if there are no gays, maybe you can hire… The A-Team.
But J, let’s cut to what’s really important here. Would it be possible to apply make up while driving this van?
I don’t see how it could possibly make you, err, other women drive any worse, Chino.
Rampage’s B.A. isn’t afraid of flying. It’s Rashaad Evans.
Dang, J, way to tear into a thread!
I’ve spent more time staring at this banner pic than i have at the spellbinding Sarah Shahi gifs over on Warming Glow AND I STILL CAN’T SEE LIAM FUCKING NEESON!
Hey guys, know what I just did? Made A-stream.
I’m landscaping, you see.
Wearing dog tags with your name, social security number, race and religious preference whilst trying to avoid the very organization that gave you them makes no fucking sense.
*sees Fox is involved*
Ahhh…
Class C on a Freightliner chassis ? The A Team must go heavy on the blackwater this time around.
B.A. is disappointed with this crack commando unit.
*empty crack pipe
Wearing dog tags with your name, social security number, race and religious preference whilst trying to avoid the very organization that gave you them makesremaking this shitty 80′s TV turd makes no fucking sense.*sees Fox is involved*
Ahhh…
Flummoxed!!
Wearing dog tags with your name, social security number, race and religious preference whilst trying to avoid the very organization that gave you them makes no fucking sense.
It’s so people will think they’re somebody’s MMA posse.
I need a fucking hoagie bitch hole!
What they don’t tell you is these guys started out as a recreational marijuana commando.
If this was just two hours of raw footage of Rampage beating up Juggaloes, I would see this movie.
Chino, asserting that marijuana is somehow a “gateway drug” for harder stuff is simply a myth. Look at The Mighty Feklahr, He was a recreational marijuana smoker, and the only other drugs He tried were shrooms, LSD, meth, opium, and them one pills He weren’t sure what they was.
I stand corrected!
Exzibit’s B.A. wears dawgtags.
Michael Vick’s B.A. tags dogs.
The question is, how can DNA involve Polanski in this?
A strange parallel betwixt you and I Fek. But I drank and smoked cigs befor I tried pot. King Cobra was my gateway drug.
Westley Snype’s BA is dogged by the IRS.
Banana Republic: mercenary killing in style
picture courtesy of Glamour Shots
I see they’ve got all the stereotypes covered in this ad for Abercrombie (fuck you, I know Fek already said it)
The Handsome Guy, The Black Guy, The Crazy Tough Guy, The Other Black Guy . . .
What? Black Irish!
Look at this photograph. Every time I do, it makes me laugh.
HA HA – the guy playing Murdock is named “Shart” in real life.
Oooh…. wait, nevermind.
Just blastin poop stains off a strangers toilet bowl w/ my pee stream, ya’ll.
Backside melts into the sofa
My world, my TV, and my food
Besides listening to my belly gurgle
Ain’t much else to do
Yeah, I sweat a lot
Pants fall down every time I bend over
And my feet itch
Yeah – I married a scarecrow
I hate you
Talkin’ to myself
Everybody’s starin’ at me
I’m only bleedin’
Someone taps me on the shoulder every 5 minutes
Nobody speaks English anymore
Would anyone tell me if I was gettin’ stupider?
I hate you
Talkin’ to myself
You don’t feel it after awhile
You take the beating
I’m a swingin’ guy
Throw a belt over the shower curtain rod
And swing – - -
Toss me inside a hefty
And put me in the ground
A drink needs me
I don’t
I ain’t about to guzzle no tears
So kiss my ass
Newscasters, cockroaches, and desserts
I hate you
Talkin’ to myself
Everybody’s starin’ at me
I’m only bleedin’
where are the kids?
maybepregnantorondrugsoronwelfareontopoftheworldonthehonorrollonparoleontheDodgersonthebackofmilkcartons-
onstakesinthemiddleofcornfieldsoncoversoffuturehistorybooksonoldlady’smantleswalkin’onwaternailedoncrosses
I think it’s time I had a talk with my kids
I’ll just tell ‘em what my daddy told me
YOU AIN’T NEVER GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHIN’
Spaz, I don’t know why you posted RV lyrics in here, but I’m totally digging it.
Where’s T’s gold? Man this is a bad economy.
Pictured: The Village People, as envisioned by Tom Cruise.
Fox, don’t you dare steal my idea, you pigfuckers.
In the A-Team
There’s no gays for you to see
In the A-Team
Shit just blows up randomly
In the A-Team
You drive around in a rape van
In the A-Team
In the A-TEAM
RV lyrics that don’t include trying to dry your underpants in the microwave are missing sum’fin.
I had to put my underpants in the microwave. Mike Patton does that to me.
Be sure to rotate them 1/4 turn mid way through or they won’t get done evenly.
I pity the fool that sees this movie!
MOAR LIKE HOWLING MICHAEL BAY MURDOCK AMIRITE
This shot needs more lens flare!