I hope screenwriter Randi Mayem Singer is waiting by the phone, because Renee Zellweger says she’s wearing a fat suit for Bridget Jones’ Diary 3. Aw crap, did I just type Bridget Jones’ Diary 3? Now my keyboard has AIDS ;-(
“Renee will be wearing a fat suit in the third film, as it took her a while to lose the weight last time,” a source revealed to British magazine Reveal. “She’s also thinking about the effect quickly putting on and then losing 30 pounds has on her body.”
I forgot that she’d actually gained 30 pounds for Bridget Jones Diary 2. Can you imagine? Jesus, man, considering the movie we’re talking about, that’d be like asking Robin Williams to actually get a sex change for Mrs. Doubtfire. Not even. It’d be like “We’re making a direct-to-DVD sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire, you’re gonna have to become a woman now.”
While some fans and bloggers are worried Zellweger’s portrayal of “Bridget Jones” will be less authentic the third go-round if she dons a fat suit, the actress has voiced concern over gaining weight for the famous role in the past. [NYDailyNews]
Oh okay, I get it now. Haha, Bridget Jones 3 less authentic, very funny. Seriously, you guys, where’s the hidden camera, I have work to do.
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Bridget Jones must have some shitty handwriting to make Zellweger squint through a whole movie.
Fat suit, shmat suit. Is she gonna open her eyes in this one?
The truth is, if she gains weight her gay boyfriend will start calling her Brisket Jones and she can’t deal with any more of his catty snark right now.
FUCK, Donk! Clean that off for you?
I really do feel for her. Can you imagine the agony of gettin paid to sit on your ass and eat Twinkies all day? I mean other than Vince of course.
Oprah looks great!
May I remind Ms. Zellweger that Christian Bale lost about a bajillion pounds for The Machinist, and that she doesn’t exactly have to worry about losing her ‘looks’ with an extra 30 pounds
No worries, Chino. After you meta-raped me with a Kanye joke about beating dead horses, you can step on whatever part of me you’d like.
You had me at Jello.
I used to read the name Renee Zelwegger and think “Id hit it.” Turns out I was thinking of Joey Lauren Adams. Weird, huh?
You lazy cunt. You see what Christian Bale does to his body for different roles? I said roles, bitch, not rolls.
Dammit. Everyone is hung like a bull here today, apparently.
You like the squeaky ones, hey Erswi? That’s cool.
*puts on Minnie Mouse DVD*
Good, I’m tired of getting Renee Zellweger confused with Sylvester Stallone from ‘Copland’.
You want fat Renee Zellweger?
*tucks dick, squints*
TA-DA!
Wow fek, I just threw up in my mouth, thanks.
The real issue is that eating so much junk food to gain weight gives her Bridget Jones Diarrhea.
She should just hang out at Bridget Jones’ Dairy.
Fat cow.
Bridget Jones 300:
THIS. CAKE. IS. DELICIOUS!
What’s the difference between 140 pounds and 110 pounds for Renee Zellweger? About an 8-ball of coke less per week.
(She’s a giant cokehead, right? Fuck it it’s funny either way)
Bridget Jones 3 Amigos:
I’m still here, El Gordo!
Either that spaz, or Cold Stone Mountain.
Bridget Jones 3 Amigos sounds like plumper porn.
Bridget Jones 3 Men and a Baby:
[*urp}
Dear Diary,
*rest of page covered in mustard*
Judge woman not on whether 30 pounds is authentic, but on fact that 30 pounds makes her unappealing sexually.
Bridget Jones 3 Amigos (take two):
My little buttercup, is an actual cup full of butter that I eat with breakfast every day.
Jesus, man, considering the movie we’re talking about, that’d be like asking Robin Williams to actually get a sex change for Mrs. Doubtfire. Not even. It’d be like “We want to make a direct-to-DVD sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire, you’re going to have to become a woman now.”
Dustin Hoffman still misses the hand he sacrificed to play Hook.
SUGAR TITS WAS JUST A FIGURE OF SPEECH, FATTY!
She could lose a couple pounds just by dropping a few E’s from her name.
Confucius, you may be more transcendental than myself. But even without the 30 pounds I’m not sure my penis cares.
Bridget Jones Dairy: Ice cream every day and cheese on everything.
Corey’up
Me, Myself and Pie
Jirish, may be just me, but I have soft spot for white woman with Asian eyes. They make me think of best of both worlds.
Lucky for you, she has a lot of soft spots.
*looks around frantically for a snare drum and a high-hat*
Girls that don fat suits need love too.
What she means is, by the end of shooting Bridget Jones 2, she was mainlining twinkie filling.