10.07.09 BRODY JOINS TREJO IN PREDATORS
(Your worst nightmare, butthorn)
Adrien Brody has agreed to take time out of his busy schedule of making out with black chicks to play the hero in Robert Rodriguez’ Predators movie. He’ll play a “heroic mercenary who battles alien hunters,” according to Variety. A heroic, cerebral, glib, Jewish, mercenary, presumably.
Brody will star with Alice Braga, Danny Trejo [!], Walt Goggins, [old-school MMA-guy] Oleg Taktarov, Mahershalalhashbaz Ali, and Louiz Ozawa.
Hollywood Reporter adds:
Written by Rodriguez, Alex Litvak and Michael Finch, the script follows a group of elite warrior-types who are being hunted by members of a race of merciless alien trackers called Predators.
Brody is a man who ends up inheriting the mantle of leader and is known as a hunter of men. Topher Grace would play an accountant-type whose unassuming facade masks a dangerous serial killer.
Braga is the tough female killer. Ali is a man not afraid to die, Goggins is the loose canon [sic] of the group and Taktarov is a former Russian special ops agent.
Trejo, already cast, is Cuchillo, a hardened warrior with twin uzis strapped to his back.
I’d imagine your cannon would have to be pretty loose to be considered the loose cannon in a group that also includes Danny Trejo. “Hijole, what are ju doeen, puto?!” It’s also interesting to pair a guy who kept his real first name, “Mahershalalhashbaz”, with a guy who felt the need to change “Chris” to “Topher.” Who used to be on a show with another Chris who now goes by “Ashton,” incidentally. God I hate white people. Anyway, Fox + reboot + Robert Rodriguez = this is probably gonna suck. Like your mom. Whose cannon is rather loose.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/08/fdlebowskilastsupper-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/08/machete-trejo-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/07/machete-trejo-girls-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/07/predator_arnold-150x150.jpg)
There are 22 comments about:
BRODY JOINS TREJO IN PREDATORS
You know Topher and Ashton only did it because Masterson said it would be cool. He’s a DJ now, he knows these things.
My cannon is rock solid. It shoots stuff too.
GRRR . . . PENIS JOKE!!!!
Roman Polanski owns a pair of those gloves.
…
Shut up, somebody had to say it. And I’m not anyway funny, so it might as well be me.
Funny anyway. FML.
They probably let Brody tag along because he can store extra gear in his nose. Or because they sit underneath his nose for shelter in case it rains.
Bill Mahershalalhashbaz has his own talk show on Arabic HBO
Will there be a Wild Card?
(…BITCHES!)
Banner pic: The chick in the middle is fuckin ugly as hell. Decent tits though.
That couldn’t be helped. I know it’s old, and they already made a T-shirt, but heavens to murgatroid it makes me laugh.
What a coincidence, Danny. I’m a drunk frat boy with twin coozies in my cargo shorts.
If Mahershamalamasmorgasbord shortened his name Baz Ali he’d be 300% more badass.
kick to da balls, punch to da balls, daeng, daeng, daeng, I just cutchyer throat
Adrian Brody as a mercenary?!? How could they possibly think that this pasty, gangly Jewish boy could play a ruthless, slimy, money grubbing–Wait a minute. Ahhhh…
…and the Shoppie for ‘Best Use of the Clone Stamp Tool in Fueling Erotic Nightmares’ goes to…
BRODY JOINS TREJO IN PREDATORS
Oh boy, if those child molesters buttholes weren’t sore before…
Trejo: Ju ar wan feo conchetumare!
Predator: Conche…tumare!
At least the predators will have a fair fight, seeing as how the mexicans attached to the film and run and jump as fast and high as the predators can
Adrian: You’re a douche.
Topher: Man, I ain’t got time to be a douche.
Adrian: …maybe so but you’re a still douche dude.
Mahershalalhashbaz, Mahershalalhashbaz, Bobahershalalhashbaz, Banana-fana Fomahershalalhashbaz. Fee Fi Fahershalalhashbaz. Mahershalalhashbaz.
Mahershalalhashbaz Mahershalalhashbaz bo-Bahershalalhashbaz banana fana fo-Fahershalalhashbaz fee fi mo-ahershalalhashbaz
Mahershalalhashbaz!
Fuck you, nePoo.
Jesus, 8 minutes late?
Nevermind, fuck me.
wtf machete hasn’t even came out yet and this movie looks garbage.
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