David Wells, the original prosecutor in the Roman Polanski case, who said yesterday that he’d lied about the case, “because he thought it’d make a better story,” now says he’s willing to take a lie detector test to prove he was telling the truth when he said he was lying. Reached for comment, Alanis Morissette said, “Oh sh’t, now I get it.”
Wells told Wolf Blitzer on Thursday that he “buttered up” his role in the Polanski case for the documentary crew. He said he lied about trying to goad a judge to sentence Polanski to prison in 1978.
“I could call it building a bigger story, putting my part in the case bigger than it actually was,” he said. “But when you peel away all the feathers, it’s just a lie. I shouldn’t have done it. I wish I didn’t.”
“I made these imprudent comments, just to liven it up a little,” Wells said. “In retrospect, it was a bad thing to do, and I never knew this thing was going to be shown in the United States.”
Had you heard? Lying to foreigners is the new coolest thing. When he’s not lawyering, Wells likes to dare Japanese tourists to kick the football and play “what’s that on your shirt?”
Asked why he should be believed now, Wells said, “I’m destroying my character in public and everybody in the world knows about it. … I don’t like admitting this.” He agreed to take a polygraph test to set the record straight.
Wells also acknowledged that he lied to The New York Times. “I figured Polanski never was going to come back,” he said. “I didn’t want to put myself out as a liar.” Polanski’s arrest in Switzerland made Wells’ public exposure inevitable, he said. “I’m going to tell it the way it is and if I take a beating over it, I deserve it,” he said.
Blitzer challenged Wells to a polygraph test, and he agreed to take one if his former employers at the LA County DA’s office allow it. “I’m not going to do anything more to hamper the District Attorney’s case,” he said. [CNN]
Well that’s good. As Sun Tzu said, it takes a big man to step up and do the right thing after the judge is dead and the teenage rape victim is in her 40s.


Get of his back, the guy threw a perfect game when he was wasted.
Wells told a tall tale about Polanski liking young tail?
Wait…a lawyer lied??? I don’t believe it.
The bigger the story, the fluffier the feathers. I can see why he wouldn’t want to peel that away.
I say force him and Polanski to do one another and call the case closed. Both of them will have learned their lesson. Lawyer: Oh, so that’s what it is to be fucked up the ass.
Polanski: Oh, so that’s what it’s like to be banged by a creepy old man.
The end.
“I’m willing to take a test that’s so unreliable that it’s not admissible in court in order to PROVE to you that I’m telling the truth”
If Criss Angel could get the kind of credibility a polygraph has somehow garnered over the years, he’d be named the Wizard Laureate of the U.S.
Polident is what Blitzer should have offered Wells first.
I don’t care who admits to lying unless it’s the girl. Throw the baby fucker in the clink.
And still how is this relevant at all to the fact that Polanski raped her, admitted it, and then skipped town?
On a related note, I’m eating red herring for dinner tonight.
After looking at this douche and Polanski’s mug for the past week, the only zombies I want to look at now are the ones in Zombieland.
POLANSKI LAWYER WANTS A POLYGRAPH TO PROVE HE TOLD THE TRUTH
and I want an Etch-a-Sketch to prove Van Gogh was a hack.
“As Sun Tzu said, it takes a big man to step up and do the right thing after the judge is dead and the teenage rape victim is in her 40s.”
I teach him that.
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2009/10/awesome-dream-jedi-master-dalton.html
So, if you only ever read ONE of His blogposts…make it this one.
YEAH! And to Hell with Jane Fonda, too!! That commie child-eugenicist bitch!
Really though, I’d like to apologize for all this hoopla. I was probably the one that led him to do this. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have been whispering “Death to the Pigs” in his ear at that screening of Jaws. In my defense, you should have seen his ‘fro. It was massive, and I’m a huge Roy Scheider fan.
It’s kind of ironic, one might have expected a more sympathetic crowd here for a child raper. Then again, it’s only really funny when it is implied/anecdotal and not factual/Frenchy-greasy-hairy-smelly-sodomizey.
That should have read:
“Then again, rape is only really funny when…”
MIZ-I want to fuck that Fonda comment hard…so hard…
Being a judge in LA has to be as easy as being a gay man in Utah. You have to do your best to stay off the locals’ radar or the ones with money will fuck up your life.
So…you guys all left to read His blog, right???
Fek, I think the end of your dream was your subconcious catching up and trying to apologize to you for almost making you finish a gay fantasy dream.
How the fuck could a Jedi Master/Padawan dream with Dalton possibly be misconstrued as gay, Donk?
…
GRRR…BEAVER PUPPET FIFI WITH A HUSTLER MAGAZINE!!!
All I’m saying Fek is that there was going to be some boning after Dalton stared down the big greasy man and then wounded him with a Freudian representation of the things Greek men do to little boys. I’m just happy your brain made it the kind that doesn’t make Jesus frown.
Fek after reading that I need time alone. Cause DaltonSwayze covered in blood and sweat is a dream I’ve had a time or two…
Boof.
Can we start a Durst of the week nom thread too? I’m pretty sure I just locked it up.
If I just had sex with three strippers, I’d be “celebrating” with a shot of penicillin.
I can’t believe I dursted with Fek’s dream.
New up thank god.