10.06.09 POLANSKI DENIED BAIL, AWARDED POLISH STAR
A Swiss court denied Roman Polanski’s first request for bail today. Apparently, those idiots consider the guy who’s been a fugitive for 30 years a (*air quotes*) flight risk. Pff, Europe, whatreyagonnado. Also a flight risk? Birds riding hawks.
“We continue to be of the opinion that there is a high risk of flight,” said ministry spokesman Folco Galli, explaining the decision.
Galli told The Associated Press that the risk was too great for the government to accept bail or other security measures in exchange for the release of the filmmaker.
Two former Zurich prosecutors have said Polanski stands a minimal chance of an immediate release.
Dieter Jann said extradition would be hard to fight, and he thought Switzerland had followed procedures correctly. Peter Cosandey added that Polanski was unlikely to be released because he is not a permanent resident and had already jumped bail years ago in the United States. [AP]
(*sad alpine horn*) So the bad news is he’ll probably have to stay in Swiss jail until the case is decided. The good news, all-you-can-drink hot chocolate! In other Polanski news, his native Poland has decided that now that the story of him raping a 13-year-old girl is fresh on everyone’s mind, it’s the perfect time to award him a star on Warsaw’s Walk of Fame. In related news, Warsaw has a walk of fame. Yesterday coal factory, tomorrow walk of fame. Today deal with rat problem.
A star dedicated to Oscar-winning film director has been unveiled on a new ‘walk of fame’ in Warsaw as he faces three-decade-old child sex charges in the United States.
“Nothing is too shocking to me,” reads a quote on the star attributed to Polanski, 76.
It is one of 12 stars on the walk of fame dedicated to giants of the film world such as Marilyn Monroe, Woody Allen and Penelope Cruz, which debuted on a public walkway in central Warsaw over the weekend. [AP]
Sources say many of the remaining stars in the walk of fame are dedicated to the memory of the Polish hockey team, who drowned valiantly during spring training. Also, a Polish Star is the outline of a hand with a triangle drawn inside. That’s important to note.


There are 46 comments about:
POLANSKI DENIED BAIL, AWARDED POLISH STAR
The Polish Walk of Fame is most notable for the collection of famous shoes stuck in the cement.
When I got a check minus on my homework in second grade, my dad called it a Polish star.
The last time the Poles made such a big mistakes with stars it had to do with stitch yellow stars of David on their clothes.
I thought a Polish Walk of Fame was one that went from the barracks to the showers?
It’s still more uplifting than the Bataan Walk of Fame.
I’m all for giving shredded carrots a star in the Coleslaw Walk of Fame.
The Polish Walk of Fame has more skis than the Austrian Olympic Downhill Slalom team.
The walk of Fame includes leotards and jazz hands.
Know why no one’s gonna go to the Warsaw Walk of Fame induction ceremony? Cuz no matter where you stand, you’re standing behind a Pole. Galang-Galang! Popcorn! Hot-cha-cha….
In Soviet Russia, walk of fame has actual feet in cement.
Next in line for a star is Bob Wiesczhiskichwitzsieszchis (pronounced Wiener) the Polish arm wrestling champion.
Marilyn Monroe and Penelope Cruz were awarded honorary Polish citizenship for marrying Joe DiMaggio and Tom Cruise.
The Irish Walk of Fame has more than just stars. It has hearts, stars, horshoes, clovers, and blue moons, pots of gold and rainbows, and me red balloons!
Who the fuck stole the first e out of my horseshoes?
I thought the Polish Walk of Fame was the one where one of them holds a lightbulb while the other two walk in a circle holding a ladder?
Pauly taught me the C-Walk of Fame.
Horshoes is a fancy word for appetizers.
The South Carolina Walk of Fame is when you hike the Appalachian trail and magically wind up fucking a whore in Argentina.
Horshoes are a type of crudiTévas. They taste like hippy snatch.
I hope Romans polish star(asshole) gets invaded by a russian penis.
Or something, it sounded better in my head.
I think I get what you’re saying, Madman.
You want Polanski to get his Warsaw Packed.
“Nothing is too shocking to me,” reads a quote on the star attributed to Polanski, 76.
Untill he meets his new cellmate LaTwando and his 11′ hepatitis stick.
LaTwando is the second-most popular boy’s name in Switzerland.
Right behind Horshoes.
The first star on the Polish Walk of Fame? Sydney Pollack.
LaTwando’s stick is taller than me
Someone else with a minimal chance of immediate release, me.
The first most popular name in Switzerland? Jamal. Look it up.
We Polish are celebrating Mr. Polanski for his successful copulation with American woman. We did not even realize he was filmmaker.
The first night in jail LaTwondo dropped his drawers, bent over and told Roman to polish star.
Roman didn’t understand so Latwondo was like, “You know, rim job”.
LaTwando made Roman play “Big Pole Little Pole” on his first night in the pen. Roman was little Pole.
“Warsaw” Jim Duggan is Poland’s favorite professional wrestler.
What about the Junkyard Dachau?
I bet Roman is eating lots of Swiss Cheese pole.
Doy you think his cellmate jacks on Pollack?
Good thing he didn’t try and fly out of the country or else he would have had some monstrous Roman charges
Roman Polanski not denied bale, guaranteed roll in the hay.
We all know he’s a great filmmaker and a mediocre rapist of children, but how many of you knew that when Roman Polanski was a boy, he saved himself and other kids from the death camps by inventing the plastic imitation foreskin?
Natasha: “Watch me go down this hill on one ski – no pole!”
Liam: “No! Pole AND ski! POLE AND SKI!!!”
If Polanski was asked to do an Axe commercial it’d say “Double Rapits to Chesty”
If Vince keeps this up, the Polish Defamation League is going to protest outside Brendon’s house.
I’m sorry. What I meant to say was that the Polish Dalmation League would be protesting outside Brendon’s house. The Defamation League is going on a field trip to the firehouse.
How many tubs of Van Polish did the last defermination suit cost him?
Wow Spaz, wow. *
* not referring to your most recent comment
FACT. A “Polish Star” is when you try to standing 69 while facing away from each other.
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