
Nick Nolte’s son Brawley was arrested in Santa Monica yesterday for DUI and possession of a controlled substance, proving that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when it’s drunk off its ass.
Law enforcement sources tell us Brawley King Nolte — who starred as the kidnapped kid in “Ransom” back in the day — struck another vehicle while making a lane change yesterday afternoon. When cops arrived, we’re told the 23-year-old showed signs of impairment, so cops conducted field sobriety tests and eventually arrested him. Nolte’s bail was set at $5,000. [via Popeater]
That sucks. Sometimes you have to trade paint a little when you change lanes, just to let people know you mean business. Reached for comment, Nick Nolte said, “I named ‘im Brawley after the time I got in a bar brawl with a one-armed prostitute down in Mexicali. Man could she take a punch — toughest whore I ever saw. Then when I caught eyes on my own pus ‘n guts fer the first time in the delivery room, it give me the same feeling as gettin’ stuck by that whore. Like a screwdriver in the kidney to remind you yer alive. Anyway, I was doin a lot of opium back then, mixing it with horse tranquilizers and washin em down with wood alcohol. Ox flippin, we used to call it…”



Damn, I had $20 on him getting arrested for hitting zoo animals with a wiffle bat at two in the morning while dressed as a centaur.
FACT: Brawly Nolte is the world’s youngest Skynyrd fan.
The M over his face in the mugshot makes him look like a Luchador.
I demand a reality show with Brawley Nolte and Jake Busey.
I fail to see a resemblance. Maybe if he was wearing a Magnum P.I. shirt…
Magnum D.U.I., more like it.
FACT: Brawley Nolte does not have a mother. He was a cyst on Nick’s back that fell off during a pick-up Jai-alai game and started drinking.
I never realized Joe Dirt was a biopic.
Vince, did you forget to wear deodorant today? My nose is stuffed up, but everybody else seems to have cleared off.
I’d bet stonewashed jeans to a sixer of Old Milwaukee’s Best Light that this dude can fix a car transmission.
I’ll take that action, DeFrank. As long as you phrase it, “Do you know what to do with a hobbled tranny?”
What does Brawly Nolte, used Kleenex, and paper plates have in common?
Nolte named him Brawley to honor his mom’s heritage. She was a Smurf.
Nick’s other son doesn’t have to worry about DUIs. Ten speeds are the only transportation for Passive Agressively Nolte.
Al Sharpton was asked to help Brawley, but he didn’t tawanna.
Brawley King was Kimbo Slice’s nickname in the hood. At least until that fat fuck Christensen kept tapping him on the forehead last week.
Brawley King sounds less like the name of a person and more like the name of a weird Japanese boxing game.
He was supposed to be named Bradley Keith, but when the Doctor asked Nick what his name was, the alcohol and drug slurred response was Brawley King.
When reached for comment, Mel Gibson said “GIVE ME BACK MY SON!”
When reached for comment, Harrison Ford said “That fucking Gibson steals all my lines!”
JHC, by “that fat fuck Christensen” do you mean Roy Nelson?
Brawley- Do you know who my father is?
Officer Do Right- Yeah. That sucks for you. Blow steadily until I tell you to stop.
Shit. Yes, Jack. Your folks loved Christensen, BTK.
Nolte’s daughter, Wino-na, got busted for panhandling on the corner.
I’m honestly surprised Nick Nolte’s son didn’t burst into flames the moment he was born. Hell, I’d shake his hand for living this long if he was using it to jerk off “Tank,” the mentally handi-capped serial killer who lives in Cell Block 4.
*wasn’t. DAMNIT!
Shouldn’t this guy be the Hulk?
I found a great dating site________ [www.diamondsingle.com] ________. The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs.. what’s the most important is that you dont have to be a millionaire.but you can meet one. I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy. What’s kind of relationship do you want?