10.06.09 MICHAEL BAY IS A DRUG, SAYS MICHAEL BAY
(Michael Bay prefers to yell “SKEET SKEET SKEET!” rather than “Action.”)
Transformers 3 has an official release date, and it’s in 2011, not 2012 as originally feared. That means Megan Fox, Michael Bay, and the whole Transformers crew have to kiss and make up, if only for the sake of the robots that punch each other and hump stuff. In the hopes of burying the hatchet*, Bay had a message for Megan Fox on his website:
Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.
Get it? He’s trying to imply that he’s like a prescription drug commercial. Very clever, Michael Bay. I picture a middle aged couple kayaking. But then all of a sudden, someone pops the top on some Michael Bay pills, and they turn into two hot chicks sword fighting on top of a shark. Other side effects of Michael Bay may include disorientation, ADHD, four-hour erections, ectopic pregnancy, and Ferrari.
*(*Michael Bay points to his crotch*)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/megan-fox-nyt4-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/meganfox-nytimespanties-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/michaelbay-leopards-car-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/meganfox-victoriabeckham-150x150.jpg)
There are 30 comments about:
MICHAEL BAY IS A DRUG, SAYS MICHAEL BAY
If Megan Fox were a drug, the side effects would be talking like a 12 year old Mexican girl, pronouncing her name “Maygin,” and making me sweat a little too much.
What you can’t see in that banner pic is that Fox is standing in front of a boom mic, and Michael Bay is trying to figure out why it isn’t rigged with explosives.
Ah-ha, Bay is a drug. All this time I thought he was a disease that caused mullets and explosions.
“Ah just can’t quit you Bay!”
Michael Bay fails to realize that they pay these people millions of dollars to put up with him walking around set making explosion noises. He thinks everyone does it out of love for his art.
Fox will reply later this week by changing her name to Huey Lewis.
Michael Bay should never be taken with Brett Ratner or McG as a serious rash can occur.
Michael Bay is not for women who are nursing or pregnant, or who may become pregnant. Michael Bay doesn’t want that kind of bullshit in his life.
Michael Bay can be taken orally, anally, or intraveinously if you’re really kinky.
Michael Bay bumped up the release date from 2012 to 2011 because, as an action director, he actually believes the world will end in 2012.
Side effects include shitting your drawers, broseph.
Michael Bay has been found to be incredibly habit-forming in patients who are Michael Bay.
I always imagined Michael Bay as the cause/source of a disease rather than the cure.
Also a drug, Jenkem.
Not to imply that Bay is similar to huffing the fumes that come off of sewage, I’m saying he is.
*Pops a Michael Bay pill, chases it with a shot of whiskey*
[shudder]SHIT JUST GOT REAL!*twitch*
Megan Fox would like to add one more item to the list of side effects: organ rejection.
In some cases explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting did occur.
Rush Limabaugh will make an impossible request of his interns in 3, 2, 1…
OH FUCK, THE WORLD IS SLOWLY SPINNING AND FOCUSING IN ON MY FACE OVER AND OVER!
*balls up in corner*
FUCK, IF I MAKE IT OUT OF THIS ALIVE, I PROMISE TO NEVER TAKE MICHAEL BAY AGAIN.
Michael Bay became popular on the street when meth cooks couldn’t get ephedrine anymore.
Uh-oh, I’m starting to move into the latest stages of Michael Bay.
*starts laughing uncontrollably*
HA! BLACK PEOPLE ARE GOOD MINSTRELS AND EXPENDABLE!
[whispers]please kill me.
I took some Ropman Polanski and got seriously fucked up, the butt.
[gives two Ang Lee to Donk]
That should mellow your trip broham.
Ah, fruck. Thank’s Clappy.
What da herr?
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