OOH WHA-AA AA-AAH! (*chugs Monster energy drink, crushes can on forehead*)
The latest character to go 3D? Jesus Christ.
Grizzly Adams Prods. is doing a 3D remaster of “The Fabric of Life,” a docudrama that examines physical evidence of Jesus’ resurrection. European theatrical release of the film is timed to coincide with the first public viewing in more than a decade of the Shroud of Turin, believed by millions of Christians to be the burial cloth of Jesus. The shroud’s bloodstained surface is emblazoned with a negative image of the undistorted front and back sides of a man who appears to have been severely beaten and crucified.Using laser technology, a team of Dutch scientists was able to convert two-dimensional photographic negatives of the image on the shroud into an anatomically accurate hologram of the crucified man. The image will be able to be viewed in 3D in the new version of “Fabric,” which is targeted for release in April.
Oh my God, Bro, did you see Jesus’ dong?? It was like an inch from my face! If only Jesus had been crucified in 2009, he wouldn’t have even needed to rise from the dead. Because we have 3D LASER TECHNOLOGY. In the words of my new favorite catchphrase, “Jesus is not dead, are you gay?”
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a negative image of the undistorted front and back sides of a man who appears to have been severely beaten and crucified
Anybody else see the problem with this? Oh wait. We’re talking about people’s belief in a fairy tale. Sorry, I forgot.
For the record, my me time sock shows no negative images of my penis being severely beaten.
Maybe all you have to do is pull Jesus’ finger to trigger the Rapture?
Jesus was holy along with his hands.
The Dutch scientists produced the lasers in their world-famous ovens.
For the cross-promotion, Taco Bell has taken to burning Jesus’ image onto a tortilla to make the new Monterrey Blast-phemy taco.
Aw c’mon, it’s just a gimmick to get people’s butts into seats. It’s just a fad.
“C”mon man, 3D is kinda cool”
Oh…yeah…uhhh 3D.
Wow, deja vu, Donk.
*Donk walks out of theater with black friend after seeing Jesus’ dong in 3D*
Yeah yeah, so you guys were right all along; that doesn’t change anything.
Is there an audio clip of this “OOH WHA-AA AA-AAH!” thing anywhere, for people who have no idea what it’s supposed to sound like?
I keep imagining The Count from Sesame Street.
I’ve already seen Jesus’ dong. He took a quick swim after mowing my lawn and I caught a peek.
3D Mary Magdalene looks like she’s cummin right at ya.
Spaz, if you’ve never heard the beginning of a song by Disturbed, then count yourself among the fortunate and don’t ask further questions.
Down with the Sickness is the song in question.
Thank you, good sirs.
*zippers mouth shut, does the Catholic forehead-tit-tit-cock thing*
aLTERNATIVELY, YOU CAN FIND IT IN wEIRD aL’S “aNGRY wHITE bOY POLKA”.
Fuck, caps lock…do I fix it or just hit submit? Hmm….
3DJesus: Damn, Judas, youse a saviour-hater, yo.
3D Jesus was HUNG!
So was the Asian kid with bad teeth from American Idol.
dr. manhattan looks different with hair…
See when there were only one set of handprints on the steamy shower door?
That’s when Jesus’ dong carried you.
Finally, anatomical proof that when the John Lennon said the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, he wasn’t talkin’ bout popularity.