As previously discussed, Real Steel is a futuristic film about robots that box, “but at its core a human story.” Produced by Steven Spielberg and Robert Zemeckis, from the director of Night at the Museum and Cheaper by the Dozen, it sounds like it could be either the greatest or lamest movie ever. The latest news is that Hugh Jackman is in talks to star.
Pic is a Rocky-esque tale of a fighter who has to reinvent himself when human boxing becomes obsolete, replaced by 2000 pound human-like robots. Jackman is negotiating to play the ex-fighter, who becomes a Robot Boxing promoter, but whose chances of success are hampered by his access to sub-standard robot parts. That is until he discovers a discarded robot that always seems to win. The ex-fighter has also discovered he’s the father of a 13-year old son, and they bond as the robot brawls its way toward the top. [Variety]
So basically, it’s like Rocky meets Wall-E meets Three Men and a Baby. Why didn’t I think of that? “You don’t undastand, Chahley! I coulda been a contenda! It coulda been somebody! Until dem no good robots come and gimme a one-way ticket ta palookaville.” (*jazz hands*)
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The robot wins more fights after it gets equipped with adamantium claws, wicked-laawwge sideburns, and snot ‘n slick hair!
I’m leaning towards “lamest”.
I’d rather see robot pro wrestling.
“My processor may only be an 800 megahertz processor, but let me tell you brother, my fists really deliver the GIGA-HURTS!”
Million-Processes-Per-Second Baby.
That is until he discovers a discarded robot that always seems to win.
It also plays a mean washboard in Beck’s traveling band.
The robots are literally powered by eating lightning and crapping thunder.
“Short me, Mick.”
That Randi Singer is going places, I tells ya!
It’d be pretty awesome if the discarded robot turned out to be the second coming of Christ. He floats like a ghost and stings like Galilee.
You guys do remember the Twilight Zone episode this comes from right? Another fucking remake.
SPOILER ALERT: the robot suffers a major malfunction before the championship fight so Jackman pretends to be a robot and wins the fight but dies after, or some shit like that
It’s not a spoiler if no one was planning to see it.
I’m more familiar with The Simpsons version of this.
So basically this movie is like if Battlebots didn’t have saws or other cool weapons? Sounds fantastic!
Hugh Jackman Trains Robot Boxer… to punch man-boxes!
SPOILER ALERT: the robot suffers a major malfunction before the championship fight
I hope they get R. Lee Ermey to diagnose that.
No one recognized the discarded robot because he stopped going by his given name, Cassius Cray.
Robot Jox FTW!
Not like The Champ meets Iron Giant while fucking Wallace Beery’s corpse ? ‘Cause I’d see that.
If Jackman doesn’t hit his son, at least once, for tightening the wrong bolt on the robot, then I’m afraid I just won’t be able to identify with the character.
Son of a bitch.
A) I’m a big enough nerd to get Peet’s comment.
B) A cute girl just lifted her arm and had more armpit hair than I do.
Game over man. Game over.
Alternate title: Technical Knockout
Alternate title: You’ve Got Servoed!
If they do it professional wrestling-style instead of boxing, they could have a washer and dryer robot who fight together.
They’d be the Maytag Team.
“A cute girl just lifted her arm and had more armpit hair than I do.”
Are you sure she wasn’t crossing her legs?
The best part about working on a robot with your son: children don’t know the first thing about working on a robot with their dad.
Son: “Dad, can I take this luchador mask off yet and put my pants back on?”
I’ve got it: Rechargea-bull, and the robot’s name is Jake la Mottorola.
Pic is a Rocky-esque tale of a fighter who has to reinvent himself when human boxing becomes obsolete…
So, this is about the MMA?
In robot boxing a TKO is known as a 404.
My favorite part of Robot Jox — and the reason for my username — is that Robert Sampson plays “Commisioner Jameson (sic).” Seriously. It’s misspelled. In the movie, and on imdb. That’s either retarded, or it’s genius comedy.
C’mon guys…this is so obvious. The robot that can’t lose is Viki, and the thirteen year old kid is John Conner. Also, they fall in love when she learns to feel…also, she’s only there to kill him. And Bobby Budnik is there too…he sells robot drugs (silicon meth).
“sub-standard robot parts” come with your choice of chips or a bullshit-sized cup of Mr. Pibb.
In robot boxing the referee counts you out by holding up a small hourglass.
This movie will be very popular in the boxing circuit.
I hope the Uproxx robot makes a cameo: shows up to fight, jacks off in the locker room and then falls asleep on the towels.
I once spent a week trying to train my goddamn alarm clock to go off at 6:41am, but then I realized that I could just program the piece of shit and walk away.
In robot boxing the Vista based bots always crash when fighting older versions.
I think it’s high time someone decided to reboot the Robot Jox franchise.
Most robot boxing trainers are from India.
Discarded Robot’s finishing move is called “The Blue Screen of Death!”
I’d have thought Hugh would be more of a robot brief guy. Robot thongs when he needs “extra sexy.”
So would robot boxers fight cards be known as punch cards?
Ya, ya, that was a lame UNIVAC joke. I’m not old. [Sips sarsparilla, dances foxtrot.]
You have GOT to stop posting clips from Robot Jocks. Every time I watch this video, it’s like watching my childhood die. I’m not going to say it’s worse than being the Polanski victim when he’s in the news, but I’m not going to [i]not[/i] say it either.
Hugh Jackman finds the discarded robot on the waterfront, mumbling over and over, “I coulda been a Nintendo…”
Team Up!
You fucking idiots suck! NEW UP!
Well, I knew eventually they would turn every video game into a movie one day, but Teleroboxer? C’mon!
Charlie, unless she’s able to get her leg up over her head while standing, it was an arm. However, if that is the case, I should reconsider.
Working Title: Rock Em Sock Em Jazz Hands