HOPEFULLY THE LAST FALCON HEENE POST
10.16.09Just to put a bow on this crappy Balloon Boy story, let me get you all up to speed: as you can see over on WarmingGlow, Falcon Heene spilled the beans to Wolf Blitzer, “You guys said we did this for the show,” he said, as Falcon’s dad and his war bride furiously backpedal. “No, no, ritto boy rying again, Farcon pray tlick on us.*” In any case, they really missed an opportunity not invited Bear Grylls to the interview. “Live, from the Situation Room, Falcon, Wolf, and Bear.”
And, as you can see in the video above, Falcon puked on the Today Show. Poor little dude clearly can’t hold his liquor. Let this be a lesson to you ladies, always try to help build up your child’s tolerance while he’s still in the womb, like my mom did. Now, let us never speak of this again.
UPDATE: Courtesy of commenter Arbuckle, this is pretty great (click to enlarge):
*I’m paraphrasing, of course
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/up-pixar-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/wifeswap-heene1-150x150.jpg)
Lince, you should be Kahless-damned ashamed of yourself for posting this forshak. These yIntaghs have already got WAAAAAAAAY more than their 15 minutes, and you media types need to quit milkin’ it.
Looks like Falcon has Bird Flu.
This kid is a pain in the
hineyHeene.Two hours from now we’ll learn that the dad spiked Falcon’s juicebox with ipecac to try and regain the public sympathy.
I’m not even kidding when I ask this – how is what these parents are doing to their kids not considered emotional abuse?
These assholes better be in a world of shit for this.
kyPee, how is putting your kids on Wife Swap not considered emotional abuse?
I apparently forgot to put the /b in that post.
Ironically, his father already calls him Balloon Boy when they take family trips to Tijuana.
I’m going to pitch a new reality show starring the Heenes and the Gosselins. We’ll seal the four of them in a glass box and the winner is the last one still able to speak before asphyxiating. I call it The Last Word.
Fek
I, like everyone else, thought it was an interesting story when we thought he was up in the ballooon, so I covered it. Then I had to follow up. Now it’s over.
Falcon: We did this for the show
Whitney Houston: I did this for the blow
Paris Hilton: I did this cuz I’m a ho.
Chris Brown: I did this cuz that bitch had to go.
Polanski: I did this cuz sometimes the little girl says “no”.
What made him puke anyway? Did somebody punch him?
FUCK YOU THEN! I wasn’t here yesterday so I missed all the Falcon Punch jokes, alright! Sue me.
Are Jon and Kate paying these parents to make themselves look better by comparison? I think they are.
Isn’t the Mom supposed to throw up in the kid’s mouth?
http://imgur.com/8Swi9.png
That’s just good television.
The thing that disturbs me most about this clip is the shallowness of the tupperware. I’m sorry, but if I think somebody’s about to puke…and I’m put on clean-up duty…I’m going to overshoot on that…maybe use a double dare bucket so the kid has a goal.
I, like everyone else, thought it was an interesting story…
Logical fallacy time!
“An argumentum ad populum (Latin: “appeal to the people”), in logic, is a fallacious argument that concludes a proposition to be true because many or all people believe it; it alleges, “If many believe so, it is so.”
This type of argument is known by several names,[1] including appeal to the masses, appeal to belief, appeal to the majority, appeal to the people, argument by consensus, authority of the many, and bandwagon fallacy, and in Latin by the names argumentum ad populum (“appeal to the people”), argumentum ad numerum (“appeal to the number”), and consensus gentium (“agreement of the clans”). It is also the basis of a number of social phenomena, including communal reinforcement and the bandwagon effect, the spreading of various religious and anti-religious beliefs, and of the Chinese proverb “three men make a tiger”.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argumentum_ad_populum
But, hey man, Ol’ Uncle Fekky was just razzin’ ya, you can put whatever trash up on your fucking blog you want to. It just so happens that shit like these shitstain fucking attention-whores (and particularly the bullshit fucking media response) brings out the “homicidal-ragey” part of His personality. It’s nothing personal, He just is angry enough to kill everyone that covers this, but tends to take it out on the ones He loves. *knowing wink*
And the Falcon Fail Saga continues.