“There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge.
It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor skills, blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue — the mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column. Which is interesting, because you can actually watch yourself behaving in this terrible way, but you can’t control it.”
This guy is officially the official mascot of FilmDrunk. Note the time on the security cam tape: it’s ten in the morning. Gotta love a guy who has to set an alarm clock to get hammered.
Hey! What are you doing over there?
…Juss partyin, man. (*falls through table*)
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This is like a redneck version of a Jamiroquai video.
Ladies and gentlemen, Gary Busey’s hero.
That is one proficient part in his hair.
That guys not drunk, his hair’s just pulling him back.
And they say don’t do drugs. That shit looks fun as hell!
Staying low is a great way to avoid these goddamn bats.
And now, another one of FilmDrunk’s Real Men of Ether
REAL MEN OF EEEEEEEEEETHEEEERRR
This one’s for you, Morning Liquor Store Frequenter
MORNING LIQUOR STORE FREQUENTER
You tirelessly attempt to stand up in vain
HELP ME, MEDIC ALEEEEEEEEEEEEEERT
It’s like Bernie from “Weekend at Bernie’s” but Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman are no where to be seen.
So it’s pretty much present day.
Standing Tall..
On the wings of my dreams!
Rise and fall…
On the wings of my dreams!
The rain and thunder
The wind and haze
I’m bound for better days.
AhhhhhAhhhhh.
It’s my life and my dream,
Nothing’s going to stop me now.
(Cue harmonica and Perfect Strangers title card)
I am SO breaking into my dentist’s office this weekend.
<<<<== dated that guy
Naw Patty. Busey’s like that if he isn’t huffing ether. Huffing makes him lucid.
Fast forward 20 yrs: Falcon Heene.
Helpin’ a “drunk” guy up is all fun and games until he mumbles then takes a bit out of your head.
“Say there son, you need some help?”
“…yeeaahhhhh…”
“You, uh… ya look like yer on sumptin’ strong there.”
“…yeeaahhhhh…”
“So… which is it, young feller, drugs or booze?”
“….ether…”
“I gotta pick one? You’re the one what took it, not me.”
“… noooo…. ETHER…”
“Well okay… I’m guess’n I’d pick booze on account of…”
“FOR FUCKS SAKE OLD MAN JUST HELP ME PUT THE BONES BACK IN MY LEGS!!”
i meant to say bite, but I guess bit works.
You sure he isn’t just participating in one of those gay-ass zombie walks?
His friends nicknamed him “Turtle”.
With moves like that, he’ll save the rec center in no time.
Monty Python’s Department of Silly Walks wants to hire this guy immediately.
*Shop Owner picks up ether guy’s wreckage for 73rd time*
“Man, this is starting to look like an inconvenient store.”
Hachachachacha
HEY, FLUX IS BACK.
I spent about 3 years huffing stolen reagent grade ether.
I think thats why I stutter. I think thats why I stutter.
When reached for comment Michael J Fox said
“What the fuck is wrong with this guy?”
Here comes Randall… he’s a Berserker!
When reached for comment David Hasselhoff said “Take it easy, buddy.”
I have it on good authority that Fred Astaire is totally jealous of that door-swing move.
Choreographed by Amy Whinehouse.