Hey, wanna see a parrot rape a guy’s head?  ‘Course ya do.  I wanna adopt the little guy and name him “Polanski.”  Polly want a quaalude?  [via Buzzfeed]

Your Daily Circle Jerk Links:

  • Epic booking fail: Bai Ling goes on the Adam Carolla podcast and it’s every bit the disaster you’d imagine.  Bai Ling says she’s from the moon and that we should respect all people, which leads Adam into a story about why it’s good when Predator drones can kill terrorists by remote control. |AdamCarolla|
  • Zombie-related graphs and statistics. |ScreenJunkies|
  • Black Dynamite’s man on the street urges regular folks to fight smack in the orphanage.  Because orphans don’t have parents.  |FunnyorDie|
  • Jude Law reads Lady Gaga lyrics. |FListed|
  • The Paperboy entry into the Uwe Boll videogame films contest. |G4|
  • 25 awesome roller coaster photos. |HolyTaco|
  • The 25 worst movies of the decade. |Pajiba|
  • Wolverine loves My Little Pony. |ComicsAlliance|
  • Would you rather, olympic hotties edition. |Bleacherreport|
  • Japan’s Gigantor statue. |ToplessRobot|