(I feel like this picture is somehow related.  Source = WSJ)

It was business as usual last week on FilmDrunk, so I say we get right into it, and Mr. Snuggles agrees.  (Mr. Snuggles is my .38.).  From BOONDOCK SAINTS 2: PRAYING AND SHOOTING:

Chodin says: FACT: Troy Duffy puts baseball cards on his lifted truck rims.

From Troy Duffy/Praying and shooting we move to Stephenie Meyer and the Hot Topic Twilight New Moon Collection, or praying and not shooting, one might say, if one was attempting to appear humorous.

Chino Moreno says: The hoodies won’t keep you very warm as the zippers won’t go all the way.

Meanwhile, The Mighty Fek’lhr practices method acting in RENEE ZELLWEGER IS TOO LAZY TO GET FAT FOR BRIDGET JONES DIARY 3:

Fek’lhr says:
You want fat Renee Zellweger?
*tucks dick, squints*
TA-DA!

Vodka took the same post and went a different direction:

Vodka says:
Dear Diary,
*rest of page covered in mustard*

Sometimes simple is good.  That’s why I only date women with Downs.  Next, Donkey Hodey takes the KARATE DOG post as an opportunity for Karate Kid parody.

Donkey Hodey says: Karate here!
*points to dog’s head*
Karate here!
*points to dog’s heart*
Karate never here!
*rubs dog’s nose in poop on carpet*

Get it?  Because it’s a dog.

Donkey Hodey says: Karate Dog gets in trouble for chewing up Elisabeth Shue.

Get it?  Because Elisabeth Shue was in Karate Kid.  Elsewhere, DavidNowacki helped explain Roman Polanski receiving a star on the Polish Walk of Fame in Warsaw:

davidnowacki says: We Polish are celebrating Mr. Polanski for his successful copulation with American woman. We did not even realize he was filmmaker.

Then I posted a trailer for The Messenger, about Woody Harrelson notifying deceased soldiers’ next of kin.  Which naturally turned into a dead-soldier joke thread.  This isn’t the most PC bunch, or the most tasteful, or… that other stuff well-adjusted people are always talking about.

Donkey Hodey says: “Ma’am, I’m afraid your son is dead and that white men can’t jump.”

Morton Salt  “What’s got two thumbs and came here to tell you your son was blown to pieces by an IED? THIS GUY!”
Also, “Here are the thumbs, ma’am. That’s all that was left.”

Good times, good times.  Naturally, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s oatmeal smiley face was also good comment fodder.

SmokeEmIfYouGotEm says: “You ah one healthy muddafukkah”

Vodka says: “I’ll be balanced.”

Donkey Hodey says: The bananas and strawberries are actually presented whole, they only appear in that final form after he yells at them to GET TO DA CHOPPAH.

Later in the week, Nick Nolte’s son, Brawley, child star of Ransom, got busted for DUI.

Jacktion! says: When reached for comment, Mel Gibson said “GIVE ME BACK MY SON!”

And finally, this week’s winner.  It’s hard to pick the funniest, because they were all funny.  I just thought this one had a style all its own.  From Gina Carano’s camel toe is movie related:

JHC says: I’ll bet her Kegel muscles are so strong that you have to boil her in water to get her clam to open.

That’s just an impressive visual.  I’d never heard anyone make the connection between clam as vagina slang and the method for opening clams before.  And you know what?  It was kind of a turn on.  Keep up the good work (for FilmDrunk – as far as your actual jobs, keep up the shirking and procrastination).