(“Remember when I told you I’d eat you last? …I lied.”)
Though the Johnny-come-lamelies in other states may try to bite our style, we Californians have a long history of electing totally unqualified actors to our state’s highest office. None of us really know what the governor actually does, so we just go with who has the best one-liners, or looks good riding a horse. And we’re happy with this strategy, because it leads to pictures like this. It’s from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Twitter account, and the caption is “This is how I start my day.” Now that’s what I call leadership. I hope I live to be 1000 so I can vote for him 600 times, or however that works out mathematically. In related news, Gary Busey just carved a ;-P into the side of a coyote. He doesn’t have Twitter account so he just strapped it to his moped.
[Thanks to BDarbs for the tip]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Schwarzenegger-vase-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Total-Recall-DVD-Commentary-Video-150x150.jpg)
Using my crack-pot detective skills, two things can be surmised from that picture.
1. Arnie has fairly regular bowel movements.
2. Arnie can’t see jack shit without those portable telescopes.
“You are one healthy motherfuckah”
That’s nothing. Bill Richardson greets the day by smuggling 30 members of his extended family across the border in an El Camino, and only then does he sit down to an eye-opener of 8 grilled stuft burritos, 2 Nachos Bel Grande, topped off with the soul of one God-fearing American
Premier Dalton McGuinty starts his day with a bowl of…. ah fuck it, hes got a funny name, good enough
For dinner, the steward likes to make Arnie’s mashed potatoes into the shape of three tits with carrot disks for the areolae and pimentos for the nipples.
The bananas and strawberries are actually presented whole, they only appear in that final form after he yells at them to GET TO DA CHOPPAH.
“Get to the Quaker!”
I greet the day by masturbating into a crusty sock.
It looks like Al Franken left his glasses and Mezuzah behind after the “Incongruous Entertainers in Politics” mixer. Boy was Steve Largent trashed when he started flogging the Mexican busboys!
Who took a BedAZZLah to mah ShARPie?
Arnold may be the happiest man alive, although there is this retarded Asian guy who works on the checkout at my local supermarket. He seems happy.
Plenty of positive comments for the big fella on Twitter. Check out the big love-in on the “Meeting veterans at 29 Palms Marine base” tweet thing.
^Read it in Charlton Heston’s voice. It might be funnier.
I wonder what @Ryan_Gosling starts his day with.
I’d nom this if was here.
matturbanowski on October 9, 2009
Is that a bowl on the table, or a mirror?
Why is everybody ignoring the cigar and the bloody mary made from real blood?
“I’ll be balanced.”
@Burnsy: Sausage.
Give them pear Cohagan!
“I’ll have what the Governator’s having.”
What are things that really uncomfortable people say at diners after witnessing the world’s most awkward faked orgasm?
Dis breckfuzt keeps me reegulah, so I cahn sheet on Caaliforneea eziahhh
The chef’s were collectively confused when they asked the Governor how he wanted his breakfast prepared and he replied, “Devito”
Gary Busey tweets in Semaphore. And he uses disemboweled armadillos as flags.
Gary Busey don’t Tweet! F you in the A.
http://twitter.com/GaryJBusey
Meanwhile, the Queen of South Beach eats at Denny’s every morning.
And this is how I start my day…
*puts dime in dick hole, vertically. Begins to pee*
Gary Busey starts his day witg a little hair of the dog.
By that, I mean he rails cocaine off the ass-end of his dog.
Gary Busey meant to join Twitter but accidentally joined Tweaker instead and hasn’t been able to quit since
New up.
SCHWARZENEGGER: Hey Happy Oatmeal, remember when I said I would eat you last?….I lied.
Sadly, this is the breakfast millions of troops are dying for. Quaker oats and some shitty fruit.
Aww shit. I swear to Buddha, Vince I didn’t noticed the banner pic caption until after I posted my joke. Sorry.