10.21.09 HACK DIRECTOR TO PRODUCE THE OSCARS
Nikki Finke recently broke the news (accompanied by one of her always classy and humble ‘TOLDJA!’ headlines, of course), that Adam Shankman and Bill Mechanic would be producing the next Oscars telecast. Nikki writes:
I consider it a good choice that bodes well for AMPAS new president Tom Sherak. Both Adam Shankman and Bill Mechanic are experienced movie people, and Shankman has the added benefit of current TV experience.
Is this bitch serious? Let’s do a run through of the movies Adam Shankman directed and their accompanying rank on RottenTomatoes, shall we?
- The Wedding Planner, 16%
- A Walk to Remember, 27%
- Bringing Down the House, 34% (34%? Really?)
- The Pacifier, 21%
- Cheaper By the Dozen 2, 7%
- Hairspray, 91%
- Bedtime Stories, 24%
The one success is Hairspray, which was based on an already-successful play, which was in turn based on a cult-classic John Waters movie. And having seen the horrific nightmare fuel that is John Travolta in drag, I still wouldn’t watch that flick unless I got kidnapped by the Saw guy and it was either that or gouge out a testicle and eat it. Oh, but he does have non-directorial credits, what were those again?
Adam Shankman is the multitalented film director, producer, dancer, actor and choreographer. He has been a judge on the Fox TV program So You Think You Can Dance since Season 3. He began his professional career in musical theatre, and was a dancer in music videos for Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson. Shankman also choreographed one of the Spice Girls’ tours.
Oh right. He broke down in tears on a reality show dance competition and choreographed a Spice Girls tour (probably not even one of the good ones). My mistake, he’s totally qualified. Point being, this guy is the personification of Kevin Smith’s statement “people in Hollywood have a way of failing upwards.” By all accounts he’s a nice guy, but let’s not kid ourselves. All I’m saying is, when me and my boys get home from a long day of installing drywall and touch football, we want to head out for wings and watch the Oscars, not some fruity circle jerk.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/BLINDSIDE-HAMMOND-PIG-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/GraceKelly-AcademyAward-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/Trejo-dope-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/transformers-2BayFox-150x150.jpg)
There are 16 comments about:
HACK DIRECTOR TO PRODUCE THE OSCARS
Already having two kids and being married for 15 years, I really don’t need them anymore. I’ll take the testicle gouging and eating over watching Hairspray any day.
Pictured: A young Johnny Carson tells Gloria Estefan, “I didn’t think the rhythm was gonna get me, but it did. It really did!”
[banner pic]
An idea so fucking stupid that Shankman himself is facepalming.
Frankly, Mr. Shankman, those positions you’ve held
They pay your way, but they corrode my so-oul
Oh, boy. I can’t wait to watch the 10 minutes or so of good Oscar moments on YouTube!
On second thought, 10 minutes seems generous.
I really do love the art of movie making and am a huge fan of cinema.
That’s prolly why I haven’t watched the Oscars in over a decade.
This guy directed that TV show with the Philly cab driver that fights for justice? Starring the guy who tried to stick Shia’s mom in his crawlspace?
I am so THERE.
I want to leave, you will not miss me
I want no part of your musical history
I’d rather blow a dude named Oscar, while he tap dances, than watch the Oscars.
Looks like Tom Cruise can go ahead and cancel that ice cream order.
How the fuck is it that two dudes named Shankman and Mechanic are behind something so effeminate and fruity? With names like those, these assholes should be fighting for justice and survival in a Mexican jail somewhere alongside Danny Trejo and the Warden’s daughter.
DID SOMEBODY SAY SPICE GIRLS TOUR?????
VROOOOOOOOOOM!
*The Mighty Feklahr tears in on an Intergalactic Dodge Caravan!!!*
COME ON!
COME ON!
COME ON!
LET’S GO SPACE VANNIN’!!!
*Intergalactic Dodge Caravan turns hard to port to reveal not only a “Free
Leonard PeltierCandy” sign, but a gigantic mural of John Travolta in drag from Hairspray!*QAPLAH!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, THE FEK’ SAID!
LHM FTW!
Comment on this post:
You must be logged in to post a comment. Not yet a member, register for free.