Zombieland opens this weekend and I may have to see it to see why everyone’s dangling from its balls. From what I’ve seen, it looks like a straight ripoff of Shaun of the Dead with a bunch of lame movie clichés thrown in. I say this to introduce the trailer for The Revenant, another zombie comedy, which, dare I say it, actually looks funny.
The Revenant is a story about an ancient pestilence recurring to infect modern society. Officer First Class Bart Gregory is killed while fighting in Middle East. His body is shipped back to the United States and laid to rest, but before the lid can be put on his tomb, Bart inexplicably awakens in his coffin and climbs from his grave; confused and horrified–a moldy, putrefying living corpse–a Revenant…In their quest to keep Bart from decomposing, Bart and his best friend Joey stumble into a solution—a way to obtain blood without taking innocent lives, becoming “The Vigilante Gun-Slingers”. But as their macabre crusade continues, they become entwined in an ever escalating cycle of violence, mayhem and ghoulism . . . all while cruising in a 1979 Camaro.
I dunno, maybe it was the blood vomiting, maybe it was the hobo killing, maybe it was “Only In Dreams” from Weezer’s first album, or maybe driving around in a Camaro just resonates with my Italian ancestry, but this looks awesome to me. It recently screened at Fantastic Fest and I didn’t see it, but I give the trailer three crotch grabs and a “what the fack a you lookin’ at?”
[via /Film and QuietEarth]


Vinnie, if you’re going to make the Italian jokes yourself, then what the fuck am I here for?
*tries very hard not to correct Vince about “Only In Dreams”*
Would’ve been better if they were in an El Camino.
Why don’t they just send him back to “The Middle East”? He could win the war single-handed!
Nice to see Chris Wylde is still giving comedy a shot. Maybe 600th time is the charm.
LETS GO FILMDRUNK FORCE!
FORM VAN AND SHACKLES!
FORM RAPE AND VIOLENCE!
AND I’LL FORM…THE WHO GIVES A SHIT???!!!
FORM OF AN ICE SHEET !
*gawdammitt, how was that ever useful*
Looks better than the Boondock Saints sequel
THUNDER…
THUNDER…
THUNDER…
*goes down on himself*
Jacktion, he’s right about the Weezer song, it plays from around 0:40 to 0:55 in the background while the nurse is talking. I had to watch the trailer twice to hear it myself.
*Looks around for MiZ*
[sigh]… ok, he’s got guns, I’ve got military ranks. I don’t care if it’s a fucking comedy. There’s no such thing in the army as an Officer First Class. The Navy has a Petty Officer First Class, but he’s not wearing a naval uniform, he’s wearing an army uniform. There are Warrant Officers, but they’re not designated by class, only by number.
Fuckin’ Donk can’t count to 10 without pausing at 7 to scream that General MacArthur was a faggot.
They should make the zombie comedies more realistic
Well-played, MiZ.
Stinky, he originally had the name down as “In Dreams”, not “Only In Dreams”
Great, now you’re making me justify being anal.
Hey, if they called the car a Mustang Z28, I’m sure Vince would have gotten his back hair all tangled about that.
Donk-Lince’s hair is always tangled, he has bad DNA.
DRUNKARDS, TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT!!!
*tucks dick, lights up a joint, walks like a beauty queen*
I’ve seen some ethnic types driving around these parts in a Mustang Z28. Then again, I’ve also seen a lowered Solara Type-R. Oh, these crazy minorities with their knock-off emblems and their fancy shoes. YOU KIDS SLOW DOOOOOOWN!
I can’t drive a Z28 without pretending IROC.
I have it on good authority Crappy rides a Suzuki Ninja. With a vanity plate.
Am feelin’ madman with the trailer’s Boondock Saints vibe. So i guess it’s going to be one of those movies that people watch by accident, love initially, then the law of diminishing returns kicks in as the douchebaggery of the brains behind the project comes to light and people wonder what the fuss was about in the first place. Pass.
Zombieland looks breezy and fun to me. I’ll watch that instead.
Well at least some star power is tagging along with Chris Wylde.
FUck. this movie looks dope.
Killing hobos is wrong. They’re still technically people. That’s why I stick to killing hookers, they don’t have souls. Hell I hear it’s the national past time of Canadian farmers (look it up).
The last time somebody told me about a descent zombie film, it wasn’t even about zombies. Some kind of underground albino critters, if I recall.
The Underpants Gnomes?
Vicious little bastards, those are.
Don’t you keep your undies in a briefcase?
You don’t need to be a zombie to kill hobos.
They all ended up working for Lehmann Brothers. Sneaky fellas.
I need funding for my Mexican zom-com, Zombrero.
Anyone got a good hostage/ransom scheme?
The last decent zombie movie-not-actually-about-zombies I saw was Outpost. There were nazi zombies in it. Kinda. I think it might have been secretly made in Northern Alberta cause the Nazis won.
*is shot for being Canadian*
But can you be a hobo and kill (fake) zombies ? The hipsters will be on “zombie walk” at Nuit Blanche this weekend… wish me luck.
*shoot me for being Canadadian this weekend. Really, please shoot me*
“Zipsters”, coming to an indie arthouse screen near you, soon. Or like, whenever. Ciao!
Shop, Step 1, mix up “special” Koolaid. Step 2, place it in PBR cans. Step 3, profit.
Outpost was awesome for one reason only: Titus Pullo
There’s a zombie walk on something called “white night”? Shouldn’t it be Nuit Noir?
Or Zipsters on YouTube monday , followed by a long run on America’s Most Wanted. Hopefully a very long run.
Come east, Al. They got crazy names for everything.
“Nuit Noir” is probably too hard to say anyway. And sounds REALLY gay (like most things French).
Canadian zombies are so polite
The zombies have some competition, have a taste :
A cluster of 55 people wearing large brown paper bags on their bodies will congest a public hallway and personally apologize to every person who ventures through them. The uncanniness of this human blockade will disrupt the regular flow of traffic and provoke reflection about passive aggressive behavior
Really, shoot me now.
Next we’ll all use our bianchi pista fixie bikes to simulate how zombies can’t drive cars.
Shop, a shotgun blast to the head should be enough to put them down. It works for zombies, so no reason it wouldn’t work on hipsters too.
BICITYCLE (Bike-city) is a project about mobile life. Sakaguchi is inspired by the lifestyle, innovation and survival skills of homeless people in Japan.
So close, Jirish, so close. The wheeled hipsters, they’re going with faux-homelessness this year.
Sakaguchi is inspired by the lifestyle, innovation and survival skills of homeless people in Japan.
A.k.a. Blowing people for a hamburger or busfare.
Sooooo. Shop. Does this thing have an address? I got paid yesterday.
Google Nuit Blanche Toronto. The whole city 6PM to 6AM, it’s worth using air miles for.
And since this has obviously been viral marketing,
SHOP 101 COLLECTIVE (Zone C) Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer is an interactive work that attempts to “invade” the inner realms of “reality” and “illusion” and expose the conflicts and interdependence between them. Downtown diners will be subjected to random men masturbating furiously in restaurant windows — visual, textual and olfactory clues pose evocative sensory conundrums to ponder and explore…
Google Nuit Blanche Toronto.
Is that like a Bombe Alaska?
Here I am reading all the posts at once at the end of the night again. Vince I woke my girlfriend up laughing so loudly at the Christian Bale as Kermit the frog joke from the A-team post. I’d completely forgotten about that site with the side by side pictures of Kermit versus bale. Just looked at it again, you definitely picked the best picture from the site.
See you guys next week with more grammatically error filled incoherent late night comments.