500 DAYS OF WEEZER SUCKING NOW
10.23.09This is the video for Weezer’s new single, “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To”, which is FilmDrunk worthy because it was directed by (500) Days of Summer director Marc Webb — presumably they bonded over shared love of unnecessary parentheses. I keep meaning to see that movie, which I’ve heard is good. Though you know it’s a hipster movie when the cast includes actors named “Zooey,” “Chloe,” and “Geoffrey,” and the lead has a hyphen in his surname. For his part, Matt at WarmingGlow has seen it and describes it as “twee as f-ck, but good.”
Anyway, what the hell happened to Weezer? They used to be one of my favorite bands and I even kind of enjoyed a couple songs on Maladroit, but not only is this song not good, what in God’s name is Rivers singing about? Excerpted lyrics:
You told me stories, about your chickadees, they didn’t like bb guns or stupid archery. Chump of lifeguard, he let them use the pool all day for free.
I took you to Best Buy, you took me home to meet your mom and dad. Your mom cooked meat loaf, even though I don’t eat meat…
WOOF. Try turning that in in your high school poetry class. The teacher would laugh at you. And imagine getting laughed at by someone who teaches poetry.
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We don’t talk bad about Weezer.
Cuomo needs to stick with what he knows. Like argyle sweater vests.
I still wear my Weezer shirt, Burnsy, I just choose to ignore 90% of the stuff they did after Pinkerton.
Is this one of those literal videos or a Southern Comfort commercial?
I like the part where he still looks like Buddy Holly.
For these people, “cutting class” was something completely different in high school.
Weird, a band I remember liking back when I had shitty taste in everything suddenly sucks to me now… I should write a poem about that.
Behind his back, we call my Grandpa “Wheezer”. Emphysema is a bitch.
Even this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4mDIpYHxWY
EVEN THE FUCKING MUPPETS?!?!
If you squint hard enough it looks like Fred Armison is drinking milkshakes with Megan Fox and Justin Theroux just cut his arm off with a chainsaw.
They’ve had a few hits now, why can’t they afford real midgets?
If you want to destroy my underwear, pull my finger and I’ll shart away.
Well, they’re no HAZ, that’s for sure.
Careful Lince, Jacktion might challenge you to
ukelelespistols at dawn for those comments.FWIW I had the Green Album on in the background when this post went up. I liked most of Make Believe, but the Red Album sucked balls and this song doesn’t exactly inspire me to shell out for their latest effort.
If you don’t like Weezer, you are all on drugs.
*switching through boombox audio presets*
Jazz, no – Rock, no – Pop, no – AHA! Melancholy. Turn that shit up, brah.
500 days is how long I had to stay in jail for having my hash pipe on me.
Is Weezer slang for poon, Chino? If not, pass the Bong because I don’t care for them. At all.
Oh wee oh, I look just like Buddy Holly. Oh, oh, and your Mom’s a fucking whore…
All I have is this hash pipe.
With 500 days of summer, you can walk around in Alaska clicking your fucking heels knowing that those damn vampires won’t get you. Until it’s night time. Which I guess would happen, unless 500 days of summer were strung together without summer nights. Because, if it’s dark (which I’ll assure you it is on summer nights), they can then come get you then. So really, you’d still have to be careful until they work out how to get rid of 500 summer nights while keeping the summer days. Numbering 500. In conclusion, I don’t think many people saw 30 Days of Night, and stay the hell away from Alaska.
I have a gash pipe. Well, more like a straw, actually. :-(
Is it a bendy straw? Or one of those that’s all twisted into a cool shape? Those are awesome!
@JHC : mine is more of a snorkel.
I got laughed at by somebody who teaches poetry once. She wasn’t laughing for long after the manager told her to pick up and replace the extra value meal I had just dropped.
And imagine getting laughed at by someone who teaches poetry.
Why is this so funny to Him? Oh yeah! His junior lit teacher was a braindead bitch who gave me a D- at midterm (because I didn’t agree with her interpretation of Poe), gave me detention a couple times, laughed at me in my face about one of my papers during said detention, only to be compelled to give me a B+ for the class because of all the extra credit assignments I was able to finish during her fucking detention.
The worst part of it all was that a bunch of the fuckwits in my senior class next year had her for lit and liked her and they voted her in to be our class speaker at graduation. I almost didn’t go, but luckily my father reminded to never turn down an opportunity to blow an ugly bitch with a big mouth away with a shotgun in front of a full audience.
Wow, I got so pissed off I switched from third to first person without noticing!
Raditude.
I’m sorry but I’ve already declared this album awesome on account of it’s title.
I once told a dirty limerick to a poetry teacher. She didn’t laugh at me, she slowly and sarcastically started snapping her fingers though.
Donk, did that extra value meal contain any fried chicken?
When the zombie apocalypse goes down and the only music that remains is Nickelback, you will all rue the day you challenged the awesomeness of Weezer. RUE IT!!!
Did you just call Nickelback music? Yes, you did.
Burnsy, that’s so unfair! And we were going to make you the King of the Winter Carnival…
When the zombie apocalypse goes down, I’m not worried about music. I’ll head down to the Ferrari dealership and pick me out a nice one and go waaaaay over the speed limit. Then I’ll fondle some hot chick’s breasts and stuff. Mmmmmm. Yeah.
Wait, wait. My bad, that’s my plan for a Zach Morris Timeout.
Let’s all remember that Rivers Cuomo, who wrote those lyrics, got a degree in English literature from Harvard.
How the fuck have they not revoked that thing?
Probably because they choose to remember the lyrics to In The Garage.
You clowns are crazy. Weezer is as good, if not better, than they’ve ever been.. How many other bands who debuted in 1991 are still selling as many records? Not many.
I don’t really get the complaints…. this is a beautiful story about a man who has to choose who to have sex with; random hot woman who wanders into town, or glorious 4-way sex with a guy with an arrow through his chest, a massive head injury and an amputee. I sure as hell know which I’d choose. Why do you think all the kids in the town look the same?
Weezer Sucking sounds like what they call a asthmatic giving a blowjob.