10.02.09 ROLND EMMERICH MASTURBATES TO CAR WRECKS

Emmerich’s favorite movie, aside from his own? Blues Brothers.

2012:Roland towards doom.

If you say Beetledick three times, Cam Gigandet magically appears.

My favorite beatledick is Paul.

2012 is the amount of braincells we just lost by watching that shit.

He said holy beatledick because they’re more popular than Jesus.

“One date will unite us all” should also be the tagline for that human centipede movie.

Disaster porn is just like regular porn. You get the most enjoyment out of the first good minute, then when you’re done with that, you start to realize how messy it all looks.

*puts on serious hat*

I caught this during Always Sunny last night and when it was over, I wanted to watch it again. And then I changed the channel to TBS and it was on there. So I watched it more intently this time, and when it was over, I pulled up John Cusack’s imdb profile. Man, that killed my Community and Always Sunny buzz something fierce.

Seriously, this looks like a big dog shit pie.

*pulls gerbil out of serious hat, stuffs it in his butt*

And like most John Cusack movies Joan Cusack will cameo as a mudslide.

What’s the big deal about 2012? Are we supposed to elect a darky to the White House, get socialized health care, end the wars in the Middle East, cease border conflicts with Mexico, and legalize marijuana?

I can’t wait to see John Cusack’s paperboy in the theater, yelling that he wants his $8 back.

Don’t be silly. 2012 is when the aliens are coming to colonize Earth with their supersoldiers and their black oil.

(Roland pitching 2012)

Producer: I don’t know Roland. Isn’t this exactly like your last film “The Day After Tomorrow”?

Roland: No no no. That film was based on scientifically predictions of things to come. This is based on the Mayan calendar’s predictions of things to come. Its got suspense, action, humor, romance. Its literally a “date” movie. Hahaha.

Producer: ….Get out.

@Chino

Paperboy wanted $2. But I guess with inflation…

Emmerich should do his next film about the Detroit economy.

I know what the paperboy wanted. If only movie tickets cost $2…

Movies cost $8.

Roland Emmerich calls the Final Destination movies “foreplay”.

Where the hell do movies still cost $8?

Boobies cost $3500-$7500

I escaped that shithole first.

Donk, by 2012 Detroit will aspire to look like this movie. BUT, GO WINGS!

Roofies cost $1-$5. My nigga Roman told me so.

I thought this was a commercial for Cruisin’ 2012. I fucking love that game. “Cruisin’ yeah yeah”

A world where Amanda Peete is married to a dude that looks like JJ Abrams gay uncle is a world that would probably collapse in on itself.

DeFrank, you down for joint Halloween costume. I’ll be sexy Roman Polanski. You be terrified

Vince Mancini says:
Where the hell do movies still cost $8?

A little place called “Not NYC or Los Angeles”

Free drugs? I was born to play that role.

So Roland Emmerich has made a disaster movie based on a Universal Studios theme park ride which was based on Earthquake, the original disaster movie?

That was a good movie. Any longer and it would have sucked, but not bad for what I paid for it.

at Oski: Seriously? I visited my brother at his college it williamsburg virginia (the town next to bumfuck) and the movie we saw was still 10 dollars. do you and Chino live some short of town where it is perpetually 1997? Can I visit there? Does Norm MacDonald Still have a career there? (that would be awesome)

*rides out of room on the dead horse he just finished beating*

Why would they have flown inland towards buildings and mountains where that airport is almost at the beach? This is actually probably the least stupid part of the movie.

You probably shouldn’t make fun of Harry Knowles. You know he’s confined to a wheelchair and ginger and an ass kisser and fat?