Opening this weekend:
Fame
I’d see this, but I’m afraid it might cause me to flame. Also, it looks lame. Also, a kid does this in the trailer. No gracias, fruity.
Pandorum
I’d like to see this, because Dennis Quaid has been making some solid career decisions of late and I’m sure this is no different. But as many of you know, I suffer from a severe Cam Gigandet allergy.
Surrogates
You’ll never believe this, but Bruce Willis plays a cop… who bucks the system! Don’t do it, Bruce, it could cost you your badge!
Capitalism: A Love Story
I’ll be honest, I don’t really get why people hate Michael Moore so much. I mean, yeah, he’s fat, which is a perfectly acceptable reason, but as far as famous liberals go, that smug twat Rachel Maddow annoys me way more. It’s like she expects a ticker-tape parade every time she makes a cute little joke that’s only funny if you went to Wesleyan.
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
Awww helll yeaah, dawg, it’s the Tucker Max movie release! You knew this day would come! Midgets and strippers and beer pong oh my! This could be our last chance to live it up before law school! Hey, I know they serve beers in hell, but you know what they don’t serve? Queers. Someone give me a fist bump.
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Did he just ask for a fist hump?
I Hope They Neuter Any Dickbag That Goes To See That
So Bruce Willis plays a… what the fuck is that on his head ?
Wow, looks like another week stayin in wi . . . uhhh. . . seriously though, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON BRUCE’S HEAD? GET IT OFF BEFORE IT EATS HIM!
My wife refers to my gym bag as a Dickbag because she found several dildos in there last weekend.
Fucking laundry day.
Did you steal those from Al? Does she know that the Armada has been attacked?
That Michael Moore sure… jeezus, that thing on Bruce Willis’ head, I hope he manages to defeat it… knows how to stick it to the man.
When I found out that Surrogates wasn’t about dudes fucking chicks cuz there wive’s cobweb filled snatches were barren wastelands of shame, I stopped giving a fuck.
Looks like I picked the wrong weekend to stop murdering vagrants and selling their corpses to research hospitals.
my fav rottentomatoes quote for pandorum:
“By the time one of the creatures tosses a character a pipe and they proceed to martial arts fight, it’s safe to presume that a shark has been jumped and there is no turning things around.”
Is that “AIDS Patient Frodo” action figure doing “jazz hands”?
Film Drunkards…I need help…I’m looking for a name of a movie. It’s been featured on Film Drunk in the past. It’s a bad movie…recently made, stars nobody anyones ever heard of. It’s currently on a city by city tour. It’s a shitty indie flick starring some douchey looking guy with an Austrian? accent…I remember one line from the trailer when he stands for no reason and yells “you’re killing me”. Anyone know what I’m talking about or should I just start drinking again?
you mean james cameron can create really cool looking cgi aliens, but no one in hollywood can create a realistic wig? wassup wit dat?
More like Brooth Willith, amiright?
@gigantor could it be that david lynchs daughter movie with william deffoe?
@ Gigantor
GI Joe?
It’s a shitty indie flick starring some douchey looking guy with an Austrian? accent
G’Day, mate!
anto, Remember Last Season? I think.
Even more douchey than GI Joe
@crapbasket … after last season…thank you sir. Thank you Drunkards
I looks like one of those pellets of hair and bone owls vomit. (cannot see picture)
Jazz hands are ruining America. First it’s jazz hands, then it’s Brokeback Mountain, then it’s the “just the tip” game, then it’s AIDS, then it’s Barack Obama, then it’s Cyberdyne, then Cyberdyne goes bankrupt and gets bought by the government, then Tyrell Corp makes it first replicant and sells it to the Japs…what was I talking about again? Cheetos? I love Cheetos.
The banner pic is a rebus.
Gay. Wig. Ass.
Vince is trying to tell us he’s being attacked by gay white gangbanger wannabes.
Sorry, boss, but my weekend’s about to start. I’m not getting involved.
Damn just watched the trailer…that wasn’t it…so close.
That twinkish looking fellow is doing the West Hollywood Shuffle.
Olberman is worse than Maddow, although not nearly as tough.
Alternate explanation: Tucker Max and the dancing queen are the angel and devil on Bruce Willis’ shoulders arguing over whether he should be wearing that hairpiece to his blind date. Tucker’s telling him to take it off and stuff it down the front of his shirt to make it look like he has some awesome chest hair while the cupcake doesn’t want to have anything to do with that either hairpiece or women.
*drops a bump of coke on Vince’s fist*
This post is disappointing.
I didn’t know Jamie Kennedy had a little brother… er sister.
Donk, I tried playing your little game but I have no clue what Homo-Rug-Prick means.
Were you thinking of My Son, My Son What Have You Done for Gigantor, Crappy ? I seem to remember some Michael Pitt weirdness that might fit the description.
Erswi, it could also be a warning about having rough sex with a fat girl this weekend
No-Bruce-Cock
Al! Have you checked on the status of the armada lately? Apparently Dick Trickle attacked and stole some on page one of the comments.
I’ve also got one about a very special episode of ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel Air’ where Will’s friend buys feminine hygiene products for Hilary
Jazz-Toupee-The Douche
I don’t know about you guys, but I plan on going to Fame this weekend with a super-soaker filled with urine.
I don’t know about you guys, but I plan on going to Capitalism: A Love Story this weekend with a super-soaker filled with kerosene. And a match.
http://lolcage.blogspot.com/
Bonus lolcage since Jack! nuked the fridge on it! (That means it was good, right?)
Swi – What am I, Admiral Mathematician?
How the hell am I supposed to keep track of them all?
Al, I thought for sure you’d feel a disturbance in The Force. As though millions of voices cried out . . . and then were muffled as they were shoved in a sweaty gym bag.
Something tells me dildoes are well equipped to be shoved in a sweaty anything
I would never steal a girl’s dildo! COOTIES!!!
*bookkeeping*
It was Bex (sorry) who was thinking of Dafoe, it was Michael Shannon not Pitt.
*back to sweaty dildoes*
Speaking of people who haven’t been around for a while (because I can’t think of a better segue from all the sex toy nonesense) – where the hell is JHC? I know he’d be counting down to liquor day IF HE KNEW ABOUT IT…
Ya know what I’m thinking, I’m thinking about cheese paper.
Something tells me that the theaters showing Fame will be filled with dudes that call each other girlfriend.
My daughter asked me if we could go see Fame. I kicked her out of the house. I know she’s only 9, but kids gotta learn. It’s called tough love.
DOR SHO GAH!!
Dr. Strangelove is real;
http://www.wired.com/politics/security/magazine/17-10/mf_deadhand?currentPage=1
Fame, Pandorum, and Surrogates all didn’t screen for critics. Also, TKE4LIFE!
Gigantor, if you’re still around…
If the line you’re thinking of is “You’re tearing me APAAAART, Lisa!”, then the movie is The Room, written & directed by, and starring, the incomparable Tommy Wiseau.
Seriously, there is literally nothing you could compare him to. Just try!
Be warned, though … once you start watching, you can never stop.
A bad wig and a creepily smooth forehead? I think we’ve just been given a preview of Bruce Willis’ Nic Cage Halloween costume.
When I first read your comment about Rachel Maddow I was pretty upset Vince, so upset that I wanted to write a comment telling you to fuck off. But I realized that I read your blog for the same reason that I watch her show. I like smug twats.
awwwwwwwww yeah kid, u know what time it is? its time fo my boy tucker max to hate fuck all da haterz, aight? movie gonna be rolling over dat bald ass die hard motha fucker wanna be. opening weekend of i hope they sell beer in hell is gonna be HUGE aight?
@TKE4LIFE
Considering a movie titled I Hope They SELL Beer in Hell doesn’t exist, I don’t think it will earn fuck all. Jesus, you are fucking retarded.
Wowza Spaz, that Wiseau find is first class.
Name818 better confirm it, I don’t have a medication strong enough to deal with that sort of loose end.
Fair enough, Francis, fair enough.
@spazmodic you beautiful son of a bitch…that’s the one. I owe you an answer to a random question.
What’s kind of relationship do you want?
One with someone who doesn’t speak any English would be a good start.
If you’re a man, you’re in.