WHATEVER YOU SAY, TYLER PERRY.
09.10.09Tyler Perry recently announced his next project, a remake of the 1975 play… For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf. Time out, are we sure this is actually a play and not a Fiona Apple album title or Son of Sam notebook scribbling? Someone should really be checking this things.
“Here’s my dream cast, and it hasn’t been officially announced yet. There are 15 characters in the film and my dream cast is Kimberly Elise, Cicely Tyson, Ruby Dee, Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, Halle Berry, Angela Bassett, Thandie Newton, Mariah Carey, Alicia Keys, and Beyonce. I’ve talked to 6 of the women and they have said yes.”
That’s like every black woman I’ve ever heard of, plus a couple I didn’t even know were black.
If you know anything about the play, you know that it’s a bunch of poems. There’s no real story, and that’s probably why it’s never been made into a movie. The way the movie opens is that all of these different women are leading their own lives, and they pass each other and you follow their stories. No one knows each other and halfway in the movie, they end up in this center that this woman started called ‘The Colored Girl center,’ where women go through like a 12-step program for healing. That’s what the script is about.” [via BVonMovies]
I always tell myself I should see a Tyler Perry movie just to see what they’re like, but then I hear words like “poems”, “no real story”, and “a 12-step program for healing” and it’s like an invisible dog fence that keeps shocking my neck when I get close. Also, if the movie is about “a 12-step program for healing”, I think a good title would’ve been “Walk it Off.”


No Queen Latifah?
(U-N-I-T-) Why?
It’s shame, they almost made it through the entire title without misspelling a word.
Alternate Title: ‘Crash: Band-o-Coons’.
*removes tongue from cheek, begins writing apology letter to NAACP*
“The Colored Girl Center” was originally was was inside a Tootsie Pop.
*What was
“The Colored Girl Center” is where Hugh Grant shops for whores.
mmmm..creamy chocolate center
for healing
How She Heal?
you know that it’s a bunch of poems. There’s no real story
Because it worked soooo well for Cats.
Klingon pick-up lines!
“Hey baby, what colour is YOUR girl center?”
Mmmmm Chil’
I tried getting to a colored girl center. I couldn’t get anywhere near that. Turns out, I’m white.
8=D~;(
I personally think of him as Tyler Scary, he looks like a puppet
Walk it off.
Rub some dirt on it.
12 steps are whole lot of work for alcoholics, I can’t begin to imagine what kind of a bear it’ll be for colored girls. I’m not sure Oprah can count to twelve.
Walk it off.
Rub some dirt on it.
Try some of Ol’ Grandad’s ‘cough medicine’.
I was told by a black girl that she couldn’t see herself dating white guys because “we have REALLY pink lips”. True soul crushing story.
My dog doesn’t obey commands, so he’s going to a 12-step program for heeling.
I’m taking Country & Western dance lessons in West Virginia.
There’s a Two Step program in Wheeling.
I only count eleven people in his ideal cast, can I safely assume Tyler Perry will play the last four parts himself? That would also explain why Queen Latifah was left off the list, as Tyler Perry hates sharing his wardrobe.
So will the soundtrack feature a lot of Enuff Z Nuff?
I got really sunburned last week, so I need to use stronger sunscreen.
The 12 SPF has me peeling.
I wish the 12th step was off a fucking cliff.
Do they have to have a dance off to save the Colored Girl Center from being closed? If not, then I’m not watching.
No, Tyler Perry’s character has to have a snow ski race against an evil white man (is there any other kind of white man?) in order to save the Center from being torn down and rebuilt as the new Republican headquarters.
The Colored Girl Center has a maximum occupancy of 64 with a sharpener around the back.
PERRY: “Here’s my dream cast, and it hasn’t been officially announced yet. There are 15 characters in the film and my dream cast is Kimberly Elise, Cicely Tyson, Ruby Dee, Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, Halle Berry, Angela Bassett, Thandie Newton, Mariah Carey, Alicia Keys, and Beyonce. I’ve talked to 6 of the women and they have said yes.”
INTERVIEWER: Then what happened?
PERRY: My alarm clock went off.