(Polanski taking home Munchkinland’s highest honor, the enchanted toadstool)

Here, have a quaalude while I ease this Roman Polanski update into you.  Shh, baby, just relax. The latest word is that Polanski plans to fight his extradition to the US, hoping to make bail and/or have his case tried in Europe.  Over on DailyBeast, lawyer Mark Geragos seems to think Polanski will never be returned to the US, and for some reason chose to examine the whole thing through the lens of California’s financial crisis:

In a bizarre twist, the U.S Government has apparently adopted a tactic normally reserved for deadbeat dads on Superbowl Sunday. Talk about This is Your Life.

Um, what?  Don’t laywers normally have to, you know, make f’cking sense?  Anyway, here’s his legal take:

Here’s why [Polanski's return to the U.S.] will likely never happen: For openers, the Swiss Justice Ministry must first examine the U.S request for transfer and approve it. The approval process could take months. Given the European uproar over Polanski’s arrest, it seems highly likely they may simply deny the transfer. Swiss officials have put themselves in the rather unenviable position of angering the U.S. if they do not proceed or angering the European community if they do. The answer may well come down to who exerts the most pressure and it is not clear that the U.S. has that great a desire to become embroiled in this mess. One can imagine that Obama and Hillary may be a little more preoccupied with Iran nuclear programs and health-care reform rather than a 30-year old case that is likely to be dismissed if Polanski sets foot on U.S soil.

European uproar?  Oh right, that.

Earlier on Monday, French authorities expressed solidarity with Roman Polanski’s family and outrage over the arrest. French Foreign Minister Bernard Kouchner said he hoped authorities would respect Polanski’s rights “and that the affair (will) come to a favorable resolution,” the Foreign Ministry said in a statement.

The French culture and communications minister, Frederic Mitterrand, said he “learned with astonishment” of Polanski’s arrest. He expressed solidarity with Polanski’s family and said “he wants to remind everyone that Roman Polanski benefits from great general esteem” and has “exceptional artistic creation and human qualities.”  Mitterrand said he “greatly regrets that Mr. Polanski has had yet another difficulty added to an already turbulent existence.”

Look, normally I’m a pretty pro-Europe kind of guy.  There are a lot of things they do better than us: healthcare, free higher education, the drinking age, prostitutes — but are they effing serious right now?  The facts are: a 44-year-old man was accused of forcing himself on a 13-year-old who kept saying no.  He pled it down to statutory and fled to France, and they just let him hang out there for 30 years because he was such a nice guy.  Now the US wants him to come back and face sentencing where he probably wouldn’t get any jail time anyway, and somehow we’re the bad guy?

Filmmakers have reacted with outrage at the arrest. “As a Swiss filmmaker, I feel deeply ashamed,” Christian Frei said. “He’s a brilliant guy, and he made a little mistake 32 years ago. “What a shame for Switzerland,” said photographer Otto Weisser, a friend of Polanski.
The Polish Filmmakers Association posted a letter on its Web site Monday from the European Film Academy secretariat that protested “the arbitrary treatment of one of the world’s most outstanding film directors.”
The letter, which was read aloud at the festival, was signed by directors Wim Wenders, Volker Schloendorff and Bertrand Tavernier; actress Victoria Abril; cinematographer Peter Suschitzky; and screenwriter and actor Jean-Claude Carriere. [CNN]

“Little mistake”?  “Arbitrary treatment”?  F’ck these idiots.  Roman Polanski should be returned to face justice like anyone else.  *points to flexed bicep with ‘Justice’ tattoo*