09.22.09 STEVEN SPIELBERG IS A DIRTY STINKY WHORE
(”Haha, Steben tole me if I shave my wattle I ged da pet da kitty.”)
Remember that Paranormal Activity trailer from a while back? The one that showed people getting really scared over a movie that didn’t look that scary? Well it turns out one of the scared people was… Steven Spielberg! (*Macauley Culkin face slap*) It’s true! And he wants you to know that he’s either really stupid or thinks you are!
Steven Spielberg was certain his copy of “Paranormal Activity” was haunted.
It was early 2008, and the director’s DreamWorks studio was trying to decide whether it wanted to be a part of the micro-budgeted supernatural thriller. As the story goes, Spielberg had taken a “Paranormal Activity” DVD to his Pacific Palisades estate, and not long after he watched it, the door to his empty bedroom inexplicably locked from the inside, forcing him to summon a locksmith. [oh my gosh, the ghost was watching your porn!]
While Spielberg didn’t want the “Paranormal Activity” disc anywhere near his home — he brought the movie back to DreamWorks in a garbage bag, colleagues say — he very much shared his studio’s enthusiasm for director Oren Peli’s haunting story about the demonic invasion of a couple’s suburban tract house. [LA Times blog]
Wow, you mean he’s a producer on the same movie that this preposterous story is about? And the people who work for him corroborate it? Jeez, what are the odds. You know, I think maybe my hand is haunted. It keeps wanking dismissively, and I was just sitting here reading a story about Steven Spielberg. Spooky.
See? Bobby D agrees with me.
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There are 19 comments about:
STEVEN SPIELBERG IS A DIRTY STINKY WHORE
When I was in High School, I knew a girl who thought her microwave was possessed because it would start and stop all by itself. I finally convinced her it was just bad wiring and not anything supernatural when I unplugged it and it stopped doing anything. Unfortunately, this is a true story.
Spielberg: “I’m getting too old for this bullfrog!”
WTF is that? A tumor?
I once thought a member of my armada was possessed when it inexplicably stopped working. Turns out it just needed new batteries. True story.
Lucas has a special gland in his neck that produces shitty scripts.
I don’t want to interrupt, guys, but it looks like Randi Mayem Singer showed up back in the Big Momma’s House post to take offense at being called the Hitler of screenwriters.
Steven is a bigot. He’s scared of spooks.
Cool story, bro ?
This is America’s master story teller ? Quick George, have him squeeze your hand.
Welcome to Hollywood, where James Cameron is literally reinventing the camera while Steven Speilberg can’t figure out how to work a door.
George Lucas just finished swallowing a surfboard.
Geroge Lusac’s neck fat haunts my dweams.
George Lucas is getting ready to regurgitate food to feed Spielberg.
Just in case anyone’s too lazy to go back and find it:
“I just stumbled upon your little blog, and I thought… hmmm, who would I rather be, the Hitler of screenwriters, who wrote Mrs. Doubtfire, is getting paid gobs of cash to write Big Momma’s House 3, just sold a genie pitch and has tons of other stuff she’s happily doing, or a puny bitter wannabe jealously blogging from his basement to three people on the internet. Let’s see…”
Discuss.
Geroge Loocas thinks this is bullshit.
As someone with multiple personality disorder, I take offense to this. I am at least three people all on my own at any given time.
Al, we’re hangin on the hitler thread.
Sometimes, I get scared by my own farts.
Somebody tell Randi to get to the new thread. Somebody’s looking for a no talent hack to turn an incredible movie into a steaming pile of chupacabra poop.
From the looks of George Lucas’ frog neck, I can see where he got the idea for creating Jabba the Hut.
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