09.22.09 SHERLOCK SUFFERS PREMATURE ESEQUELIZATION
(The first rule of gay fight club? You don’t even wanna know, dude.)
Sherlock Holmes, starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law, comes out Christmas Day. I’m cautiously optimistic — it could be good, or it could be sort of meh, like Guy Ritchie’s body of work since Snatch. But that’s the thing about Hollywood: they don’t even wait for the goose to lay the golden egg before they start pumping it full of hormones and jamming a shoehorn up its ass* nowadays.
Three months ahead of the release of its Robert Downey Jr. action pic, Warners is developing a new installment. The studio is poised to bring on Kieran and Michele Mulroney, the scribes who are penning its “Justice League: Mortal” [barf] tentpole, to pen a draft of the new tale. Brad Pitt has had discussions with producers to star as Holmes’ nemesis Moriarty in the new pic, say people familiar with the project, though there is no deal in place for him to take the part.
Guy Ritchie helms the pic, and Downey stars as the title character; Jude Law plays protege Watson, and Rachel McAdams stars as love interest Irene Adler. Much of the talent is expected to return in the new pic, as could Ritchie as director. [THR]
“Is expected…” “Could return” — these are the key words. Basically, the studio thinks Sherlock Holmes is going to do well, so they want to make sequel. But getting the cast and director locked down is a complicated process with lots of negotiation about salary and scheduling and stuff. So they’re starting the process early, by paying two guys who had nothing to do with the original script a lot of money to write a script for the sequel, which they’re probably going to throw out and re-write as soon as Ritchie and the rest are locked down and they bring in writers they like. But as they say in Hollywood, you gotta piss money down the toilet for no reason to make money.
*a butthorn?
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There are 18 comments about:
SHERLOCK SUFFERS PREMATURE ESEQUELIZATION
The sequel will introduce Holmes’ brother who only eats fast food, Spurlock Holmes.
“…gotta piss money down the toilet for no reason…”
Loonies and toonies are the reasons why we don’t do that here.
not that any of you care, but i took a sherlock holmes class in college. read a bunch of short stories, get an A. I do consider myself an aficionado, and frankly this movie looks like crap…. whatever, let me get off my soapbox and go jerk it to the Bee Gees… i mean someone who not only sounds like a woman, but looks like one too
In the sequel, Sherlock Holmes gets knocked out by Mike Tyson in the 4th round.
Wait? Robert’s got abs? I always thought he was Downey soft.
Ummmm…
@DidI
I got an A in my AP Physics course yet I thought the Matrix looked fucking awesome.
We live in a country where Paul Blart made a bunch of cavemen millions of dollars. I’ll take anything staring RDJ over fat guys slipping on banana peels any day.
Oh yea? Well I’ve taken calculus four times. Suck on that.
Nothing says Christmas like a gay Sherlock Holmes. Maybe they could reboot Murder, She Wrote for me on Valentine’s Day.
There we were, three days outside o’ DaNang, humpin’ in the bush, humpin’ in the bush. Suddenly fire came from ahead, BAD fire.
We busted for a tactical retreat and fire came from behind.
Fire came from the left flank, then from the right.
We held off the first wave, and we held off the second wave. Just as the third wave was breakin’ through a shell came whizzing by, ripped my right arm clean off at the shoulder, carryin’ away Lucille, my rifle, with it.
With my left hand I grabbed Betty Sue, my bayonette, from her hip-scabbard. Just then a screamin’ dink came jabberin’ at me with all his Tojo yammerin. I kicked him in the chest, jumped on him and with the grace of God and Betty Sue I severed his right arm. Then I did a little quick field surgery with some dental floss and a toothpick from a mess kit, sewing his arm on in place of my own.
After that I choked him to death with his own hand just to look in his eyes and watch what Communist fervor looks like while it fades into the afterlife…
(Guess what the first rule of gay fight club is.)
Is it you choose your level of involvement? Or do you think it was genetic, you heathen.
Premature Esequilization is what I called it that one time I accidentally shit the bed while having sex.
We were going along, getting into a nice pace and really enjoying it when all of a sudden BAM! number 2 drops before the big payoff and everything gets ruined.
I’m “cautiously optimistic” about this the same way Swayze’s doctors were when they gave him a week to live and he was still alive after two.
Is anyone else seeing an annoying floating “VoiceFive” ad?
Premature Esequelization is when you come in early on ” a wheel within a wheel a rollin “.
Fuck ya’ if you’re not Mormon.
N’up…erman.
New up but yikes I think I might stay in this one.
[banner pic]
Sherlock Homes reunited with his gay brother, Sherlock Homo.
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