SEX AND THE CITY GETS NEW JOCKEY
09.10.09
The Sex and the City movie has hired a new dude. Actor Max Ryan, who you probably didn’t see in Death Race or League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, will play a love interest for Samantha. “Max Ryan” sounds like a suave secret agent, there’s no way he was born with that name. Ten bucks his real name is Clarence Taintberg or something.
The English-born actor is stepping into the role of Rikard, an European architect who crosses paths with Samantha.
Oh my gosh this sounds awesome you guys! *spreads peanut butter on balls* The guy also has a strangely worded IMDB profile that I suspect he wrote himself, which makes him sound like some kind of dyslexic superhero.
The moments kept coming and unusual circumstances would continue to arise when during a family ski holiday he heard a scream outside his hotel apartment, when he went to see where the noise was coming from he saw an Alsatian dog attacking two girls in the snow. Ryan jumped over the balcony and fell three stories landing in deep snow breaking his fall. Ryan fought with the dog allowing the girls to escape safely back into the building. After years of unusual and great circumstances Ryan moved to London and enrolled in a day theatre class, shortly afterwards he was asked to cast for a TV commercial and with the success of that he began working as a professional actor.
“So, how’d you get into acting?”
“You know, enrolled in the Boston conservatory, did a little musical theater, then I moved to L.A. The youge. Why, how’d you get into acting?”
“Saved some chicks from a dog fight.”
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If he ends up treating Samantha like he treated The Stath’s wife in ‘Death Race’, I might actually go see that movie.
If he can kiss SJP without throwing up he deserves a Medal of Honor.
Durden had images from the “flashback” scene of her dressed up like oldschool Madonna which caused my penis to hide inside of my body.
The women that go to see these movies are stupid fucking cunts that need to be horribly disfigured in a fiery auto accident, die painfully months later from the burn wounds, and be buried in a shallow grave at a sewage treatment facility.
Any IMDB profile that doesn’t include a false nut and inflation tools is OK with me. Best of luck to this kid.
I once saved a girl from higher blood pressure and cholesterol by stealing a hot dog from her.
If Matthew Broderick fucks that face to face, I’ll eat a giant cactus.
That was no dog, it was Sxv’Leithan Essex.
The only person “crossing paths” with Samantha is a fucking equestrian.
My IMDB profile bio just says “Fucks like wrecking ball”. Don’t know who wrote that…
If Matthew Broderick fucks that face to face, I’ll eat a giant cactus.
Sarah Jessica Parker or Max Ryan? Because if we’re talking about Max Ryan, you might want to get your tobasco sauce ready.
Max Ryan is actually this guys real name. I know this because I was in a fraternity with his brother, Ultra David.
I never understood the appeal of this series. I spent my Sunday nights watching X-Files, which, in retrospect, is probably way less scary than this.
he also is cast in the upcoming movie, Seabiscuit 2: Riding Bareback
My IMDB page reads like a goddamn Bukowski novel.
“Woke up. Drank. Got drunker. Took a shit. Los Angeles.”
Dyslexic superheros are a lot like your mother.
They don’t “save the day” they “spend the night”
Max Ryan: [barely audible] I love you
Director: CUT! Max, you’re gonna have to speak up so the mics can pick up your voice.
Max: I thought that was the only way to communicate with her?
Director: No, she speaks english, you don’t have to whisper. Also, put down that fucking carrot!
European architect you say? So I’d have a chance wiff one of these old broads if I were from anywhere but . . . USA!!!!. . . USA!!!! . . . USA!!!!. . . USA!!!!
Never been more proud to be an Amurrikin.
3 set workers were fired after they broke into SJP’s wardrobe and started pitching her shoes at tent poles.
From here on out, in any post that mentions Death Race, I will only respond… DEATH RACE IS THE GREATEST MOVIE IN HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Listen kid, we’re switching to an open bridle for this shot, so show her the whip, maybe brush her a few times before you take her home.”
A don’ gav a fleean fock, a dad a bag poo yasterday, laft me bum burnang fae hoors…
That’s not only his imDb profile, it’s also the story he tells when people ask him how he got those two nut-shaped dents in his chin.
“…an European architect…”
So his character builds the world’s GAYEST buildings?
Cool…cool.
*spits into palm*
So, Tucker Max, Max Headroom and May Ryan walk into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve them and says “Sorry, we are at max “Max” compacity”.
You can tell his building designs by the large and inviting entrance in the rear.
He saved two chicks from a dog? Now he’ll have to save 3 dogs from a horse!
*Rikard and Samantha sit at dinner*
Rikard: “Here, I have something for you.”
*hands bag across table*
Samantha: “Oh Rikard! Oh, what is it!?”
Rikard: “It’s an empty bag, you daffy bitch. Now put it on your head.”
I hear speech impediments are the new European accent, this fall.
That scene would never work chodin, if you give her a bag to put on her head she attaches it like a feed bag and you can still see those soulless eyes staring back at you.
Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender says “Why the long face?”
That’s right, I went there.
That’s like the llama calling the horse a horse, Moose. Wait wtf?
So, who is he dating in the movie? Blanche or Dorothy?
my granmother fell through the elevator shaft for ten stories, now she has a prostetic leg. And my grandfather who had a peacemaker ran the ten stories through the stairs (he died years later). Take that for superheroes.
Max Ryan sounds like one of Homer Simpson’s possible new names.
“Theres a right way, a wrong way, and the Max Ryan way!”
Max Ryan’s research of his role consists of watching reruns of Mr. Ed.
If I want to see a movie about incontinent, menopausal old sluts (and I do), I’ll watch German porn.