(We call this position ‘Congress of the Crotch’)
Neve Campbell was something of a sex symbol back in the day, perhaps due to the fact that she can’t OPEN HER DAMNED EYES ALL THE WAY! OH I’M SORRY, IS IT TOO BRIGHT FOR YOU IN HERE, HARTNETT? (*clears throat, shuffles papers*) Another thing that was popular in the 90s was Scream. That’s why Bob Weinstein is greenlighting Scream 4, hiring Neve Campbell, and spraypainting his Jnco pants*. And just like that, it’s suddenly cool to make your girlfriend wear that mask during sex again.
“I’m heading back to my franchise films,” Weinstein declared, citing plans to shoot sequels to “Hellraiser” and “Scanners” in 3D. Also on the slate are remakes of “Short Circuit” and “An American Werewolf in London.” “These films are our strength, and we are committed to doing them in style.” In addition, the company wants to shoot “Halloween III” in 3D, aiming to release it in October 2010. Dimension also is remaking the cult classic “Children of the Corn.”
“Scream 4″ will start production in April or May as the first of a new trilogy, and the company is talking to Wes Craven to direct, Weinstein reports. In addition to Campbell, Courteney Cox and David Arquette will return to the “Scream” franchise. [Variety]
Phew, they got Courteney Cox and David Arquette? I was worried this wasn’t going to have any bankable stars.
*unconfirmed
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Ah, the 90s. A time when “skeet” meant something else entirely…
And just like that, it’s suddenly cool to make your girlfriend wear that mask during sex again.
I’ve been making her wear a Reagan mask and call me Johnny Utah for the past two weeks. This will be a nice change of pace.
I’m fine with them making more shitty sequels like Scream 4. Scream 3 was one of the worst I’ve ever seen. But Jesus fucking Christ stop doing remakes. Quit fucking with good movies. You absolutely cannot improve upon Short Circuit. It’s just not possible. Oh, the robot will be a lot more modern? I don’t fucking care. Fuck you. A remake once in a while is fine. The Thing remake was badass. But goddammit at least wait a little while before you fucking give up and copy off the kid next to you.
The only update they’ll make for ‘Short Circuit’ is that the Indian dude will be off-screen the entire movie working at a call center.
I thought they already made Short Circuit with Jude Law and that Sixth Sense alky.
I would rather watch the original Halloween 3 than watch any of Rob Zombie’s remakes. Have you ever seen the original Halloween 3? I’m making quite a statement here.
Neve is the kind of name a mother comes up with whilst high on pain killers.
Ya know what’s ironic?
Neve is an odd name cause it’s ‘even’ backwards.
Once while stoned as fuck I had this argument with a buddy. His possition was that, over the course of human history and with the number of people who live now, that there are no origional thoughts, only those who are praised because they achieve something with these thoughts. EVERYTHING, has been thought of before.
My possition was, puff puff pass fucklick.
Incredibly, it would seem we were both correct.
Neve is also one letter short of the chance of me ever watching any of those movies.
“These films are our strength,” declared Weinstein, citing four films, the production and distribution of which his company played no part in whatsoever.
If the Punjab doesn’t talk about his boner in the remake I’m burning down a retirement community.
Gary Busey was arrested for abruptly tearing off Neve Campbell’s clothes.
They caught him after he tried to turn the garments in at one of his nephew’s PTA meetings.
FFFFOOOUUUUURRRRR!!!!
They gonna get El Debarge out of jail to do the song again???
He’s got 11 children. 11. EEEELLLEVVVVENNNNN. He’s in jail to get away from them…
I wish Los Locos would pay Bob Weinstein a visit.
OH SHIT FUCKING TITS CROTCH!
Awww admit it. You’d hit that. Great legs.
But that Al Roker ad is harshing my mellow. Sweet Jeebus, make it stop!
That picture either means Neve Campbell is turning tricks or taking dumps in alleyways. Both costs extra.