09.08.09 RAMBO 5: RAMBO VS. THE RAGE WOLF
Sylvester Stallone and Harry Knowles from AICN have a special relationship, in that Sly sends Harry videos of himself working out and Harry gushes about Sly “sweating and glistening.” So it’s no surprise that Sly gave Harry the scoop on the plot of Rambo 5 (which doesn’t have to do with Mexico or human trafficking, as originally reported). Here’s the audio clip, in which Sly’s voice sounds like a normal person with the tape slowed down. Here’s what Sly says:
“Hey Harry it’s Sly, thanks for posting that. But I think there’s been some slight confusion regarding all the talkbacks. I think the majority of these individuals misunderstood, it’s not a Universal Soldier, it’s not me fighting a soldier, it’s actually me fighting a feral beast. It’s uh, a thing. An amalgamation of fury and intelligence, and pure unadulterated rage. It’s before men, became hu-men. It’s when they were still in-humen. And what he confronts is something that is everyone’s virtual nightmare. So in no sense of the word does he go against quote, the Dolph Lundgren or Jean-Claude Van Damme universal super-soldier. He’s going against a feral beast, that has absolute cunning and intelligence and a will to survive that is only matched by Rambo’s, and that’s what makes it uniquely different. It’s like man’s conscience fighting his dark, dangerous, uncontrollable subconscious.”
Meanwhile, TheMovieBlog obtained this plot synopsis, which is along the same lines as what Sly said, plus includes the setting — the Arctic — and the title, “Rambo V: The Savage Hunt.” Rambo, as man’s conscience, vs. the rage beast, man’s unadulterated nightmare subconscious. Rambo plans to teach the beast a little about love, and a lot about killin’ gooks.
This summer… Rambo will fight his toughest opponent yet: a feral, uncontrollable beast made of rage… And he’ll have to do it using the only weapon he knows how… dead gooks. OOH WHA-AA AA-AAH!
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There are 28 comments about:
RAMBO 5: RAMBO VS. THE RAGE WOLF
I still can’t figure out why they’re calling these movies Rambo X (or whatever number they’re on).
IT’S FUCKING FIRST BLOOD DAMMIT! THE SECOND ONE WAS RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD II! THEN THEY JUMP AND GO WITH RAMBO III? THAT ONE WOULD’VE BEEN RAMBO II, SINCE THE PREVIOUS ONE . . .
Y’know what? Fuck you Stallone. Learn to count.
Soooooo…his fighting Harry Knowles?
“Harry Knowles” is Sly Stallone’s safe word.
And what he confronts is something that is everyone’s virtual nightmare.
Russell Crowe from ‘Virtuosity’?
Well, Robin Williams is always better in dramatic roles.
The Mighty Feklahr feels Sly is just setting this up so he can start releasing Rambo AND Rocky sequels on the same sequel integer at the same time!
RAMBO BALBOA 17: JUST TELL ME HOW TO USE THE FUCKING 3 SEASHELLS!
So rambo in a Predator ripoff? at least that puts us one step closer to Rambo VS Terminator VS Predator VS Aliens VS Freddy Vs Jason VS Ash VS Godzilla VS John Lovitz
Sounds to me like this is going to be ‘The Neverending Story’ without the flying dog.
Eskimos kinda look like gooks so ol’ Rambo is gonna feel right at home after he’s gutted a few.
Is “The Rap Up” being written by Damon Wayons’ Articulate Inmate character from In Living Color now? WTF are they doing using “Paragon” in a headline?
* bottom of screen Lil Kim add just so you know
Hold on. Wasn’t this a Bugs Bunny cartoon? “Shoulda toined left at Albukoikee.”
CB, your new av is creepin me the fuck out mang.
I can’t imagine how Sylvester Stallone would come up with the idea of fighting against a genetically modified human with anger issues…
Family reunions at his place must be a lot of fun.
In Rambo 5, John Rambo will be fighting a zany former SNL cast member, known for ad-libbing lines in his movies.
A Ferrell beast?
While using lame adult-themed visual gags?
A Farrelly beast?
This movie is just the first part of this story. In the second part, he will fight a giant robotic insect that morphed out of an intelligent toilet developed by the British.
Rambo 5 Part 2: Electric Bug-A Loo.
It’s like man’s conscience fighting his dark, dangerous…aw, fuck it! I LIKE TO MAKE RAGE WOLF MOVIES!
WASN’T RAMBO SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DIE FOUR MOVIES AGO?
erswi, I’m with you, I’d be way more interested in this if it were called Fifth Blood.
Jacktion, that was a huge stretch, even as puns on this site go. but it made me laugh.
Fifth Blood sounds like a pre-mixed Sangria drink for emo vampire fags.
wofdoo, I live to stretch.
Seriously, I’m a yoga instructor.
The next chapter in the Rambo saga takes us to the Australian Outback where Rambo must take on an evil interior-decorating marsupial.
Rambo 5: Fifth Blood: Part 2: Eclectic Kangaroo
Jack, keep teeing them up for me and I’ll keep bunting them to the catcher.
I live to stretch too, i get medieval on people’s asses.
Can you bunt in tee ball?
“It’s like man’s conscience fighting his dark, dangerous, uncontrollable subconscious.”
I don’t know why, but i’m reminded of David Carradine’s death.
When I first read that, I thought it said that Harry was the one “sweating and glistening”, but I remembered that the only time Harry can be found “sweating and glistening” is when he hears that McDonald’s is bringing the McRib back for a limited time.
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