‘PURTEND THE QB’S YER WHITE MOMMA’
09.11.09Sandra Bullock could use some good press after the epic fartbomb that was All About Steve. Luckily she’s in The Blind Side, which just came out with a new poster (below) and trailer (above). I smell Oscar! (Oscar’s a hobo, he lost control of his bowels when I showed him this trailer). Aside from spunky Sandra selflessly teaching a negro to play football (using the patent-pending “pretend the quarterback’s yer new white momma” method), all you really need to know about this movie is summed up in the final exchange of the trailer (accompanied by a John-Mayer-Blunt-Fray song, of course):
“Yer changin’ that boy’s laahfe.”
“No. He’s changin’ maahne.”
Oh man, I just came so hard, you guys.
“THEES MOVIE SNORKELS JIZZ.” -Roger Ebert [via CinemaBlend]
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Fuck you…Coach McGrath.
This seems like a racist parable for the paternalistic justifications of slavery.
Shit like this is bling
To Oscar awarding kings
Bullshit
(Asshats)
the blind side is her ass, right?
She is bad acting herself right out of the Hollywood Cougar Hall of Fame.
Yea, she does look pretty good for 60.
If All About Steve was any worse than The Net, I’ll shit in an envelope and mail it to myself.
want a stamp?
haha fooled you, I didn’t watch that trash.
Yer white momma knows with certainty who yer father is.
Aah don’ won’ my laahfe.
In a sudden display of contention, the husband brought home a big-titted, Japanese girl the following night.
A QB is a square in 3D, right?
If that QB’s name is Bert, consider my mind fucking blown.
This movie would be 100% better if it was set in any year between 1780-1804.
Sure they earned some karma by picking that dude up, but everyone knows during a rainstorm fuckers that big are worth 60 points.
Sandra Bullock’s actress boat left the dock years ago. Now she’s on the Amistad.
I liked this movie better when it was called The Waterboy.
WTF is x-Tennessee head coach Philip Fulmer doing in this thing? Recruiting someone to watch football on TV with? I can assure you that no donut was safe on set the day that the “Great Pumpkin” made his cameo.
Just when you thought that racial stereotyping was dead in film: The Blind Side. Opening November 20th at a theater near you.
Yea Jaction, I’m amazed this one isn’t named “Get me some water, boy”
Big strong Black guys come a dime a dozen. Well, before the Emancipation Proclamation anyway.
How come all white people pick up black dudes like this?!
*pantomimes holding a steering wheel while smiling as big as he can*
In the sequel, the kid gets a multimillion dollar NFL contract.
The Bling Side, coming Thanksgiving, 2012.
The sequel to Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs is about an avalanche of white rice and saltines that traps an entire village.
The Blandslide, coming *mouth fart*
I watched a movie called The Blond Side last night though I don’t think it was made by the same people. Similar cast though.
this film’s retarded
http://failblog.org/2009/09/11/condom-brand-fail/
I can just imagine the conversation in that poster….
Black QB: You know what they say: once you go black, you’re gonna need a wheelchair.
Bullock: That i’ll do Boy, that i’ll do.
Will you teach me to football?
In Bullock’s defense, Bradley Cooper advised her to channel Jennifer Aniston in All About Steve. Sadly her wondeful method ability has not shut off yet, and her career is beginning to resemble Aniston’s. The same thing happened to Christian Bale when he was channeling Christian Bale for the Terminator.
I bet you the big black fella ends up doin Sandra Bullock. White chicks love takin’ it from black dudes….not to sound racist or anything.
OH MY GOD I laughed so hard at that last line you wrote, Vincie.
This is my first time ever posting here, but I’ve read this website every single day for well over a year now, so I feel like I know everyone already…
Welcome aboard Toot, but one question: can you bring the funny?
Toot knows me?
AHHHH!!!
Please don’t tell my mom what I say in here…
She should just hop on his back and let him run for 90 mins and we’ll just call it “Speed 3, Eh…Fuck it”