Temple Hill Entertainment, one of the production companies behind Twilight, has acquired the movie rights to L.A. Candy, the “book” that was “written” by The Hills “star” Lauren Conrad. “Why, that’s the best news I’ve ever heard!” said Dr. Opposite.
Conrad will be exec producer through her Blue Eyed Girl Prods. banner. The book, published in June by HarperCollins, has been on the bestseller lists of the New York Times for 14 weeks. Informed by Conrad’s experiences, “L.A. Candy” tells the story of a 19-year-old who moves to Hollywood, quickly finds fame as a reality series star and then has to deal with the ramifications of living a fishbowl life. Conrad plans to write two more books [tentatively title 'Pestilence' and 'Locusts' -ed.] on the reality travails of protag Jane Roberts.
WOOF.
“Lauren, who became an icon in that reality show world, came to us with a structure of how to tell the story in an interesting fashion that was separate and apart from the book,” [producer] Bowen said. “We loved her take. Her book is an honest portrayal of what it must be like to set out to be normal, then sign on to become famous and eventually realize, wow, this isn’t at all what I’d planned for myself.” [Variety]
Yes, that sounds fascinating. (*dismissive wank*) You can read an excerpt of the book here, but I wouldn’t recommend it unless you enjoy nosebleeds. Don’t worry, that’s just your brain leaking out. It saw what you were reading and assumed it wasn’t needed anymore. Though, to be fair, the book has come a long way from the first draft, which was just a makeup mirror and a drawing of a turkey. “I made it by outlining my hand!” Conrad said.
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“Informed by Conrad’s experiences,”
Ha ha, good one, Jay.
At least it’s not a Short Circuit remake.
He doesn’t know it yet, and I hate to rain on his parade, but 3 more steps in that direction will activate the lock on the back right wheel. Oh homeless people, can we make your lives anymore difficult?
The apocalypse will not be televised. Barnes and Noble remaindered section rejoices.
I miss Jeff Goldblum as The Fly puking in his hand at the top of the screen. :(
“Lauren, who became an icon in that reality show world, came to us with a structure of how to tell the story in an interesting fashion that was separate and apart from the book,” [producer] Bowen said.
Bowen’s first big break came from being discovered at the Department of Redundancy Department for Webster’s English Dictionary. The career of this promising young producer was almost derailed when a porpoise was noticed in a childrens book produced by Bowen titled ‘Fish Fish Fish Fish Fish Fish Fish’.
I moved to Hollywood to live a fishbowl life, but it paid in scale.
Whackety schmackety please kill this girl.
This story makes me want to take some DJ AM Candy.
it´s nice to see kelly bundy again.
I saw a girl reading that book on the subway last month. I just looked at her like I look at people who debate evolution. Fascinating creatures.
Is this the one that got hit in the eye with space debris when she was younger? Or is that a different pod person?
sign on to become famous and eventually realize, wow, this isn’t at all what I’d planned for myself.
Authenticity demands a scene in the washroom of the North Hollywood Greyhound station. But I won’t hold my breath.
Wow, I am dumbstruck. Or, Lauren Conrad struck, as it will now be known.
This reminds me of the mouth to anus caterpillar. A fake reality show leads to a fake book that’s “not really about” the fake reality show leads to a movie that’s “not really about” the fake book “that’s not really about” the fake show. The only difference is the head aka the fake show started out by eating shit too.
Poor Lauren. Such a tortured existence. She’s like the Kurt Cobain of celebutards.
*mails shotgun to The Hills*
Sadly, it would appear the book comes with “Bullet Deflecting Action.” Simon said they didn’t need it, but Schuster was adamant. Fucking Schuster.
“Blue Eyed Girl Prods” reminds me of the time I let my ex use her dildo on me.
L.A. Candy refers to all the dicks she had to suck to become a reality TV star.
LA Candy is wrapped in plastic. Lots and lots of plastic.
L.A. Candy = child star pantie remover
Come here, Dakota, I have some L.A. candy in my pocket. wink wink
L.A. Candy would prefer to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
L.A. Candy tastes like tamarind.
LA Candy is tasteless, not very filling and too easy to find.
Dick Trickle says:
L.A. Candy refers to all the dicks she had to suck to become a reality TV star.
Naw, I would respect her because at least she would have worked for it. This chick has had everything handed to her. Didn’t she have a job on the show that wouldn’t be given to somebody who’d never worked before and without a college degree? Then she got somebody to ghost write her book about her experiences. I think she was the assistant to the editor of a fashion magazine. The editor was a real bitch who everybody feared and she had to transform herself to win the bitch’s approval and when she finally got it she quit because she didn’t want to turn out liker her. The LA Hills Have Candy Devils Wearing Prada.
In the back room, LA Candy is everyone’s darling.
…interesting fashion that was separate and apart from the book…
I don’t know what it’s like in Americania, but here, the only thing “separate and apart” applies to is how (in legalese) a married couple must live for one year in order to get a divorce.
I’m guessing this Bowen character is up to his eyeballs in alimony.
So basically she wrote a book which is a retarded written version of the retarded tv show of her retarded life?
It’s cool that in college, if you submit the same paper that you got an F on multiple times, you still get an F, but if you do that in Hollywood, eventually you get a movie deal.
Stoney-that is why He mancrushes you so hard…so hard…
LA Candy would have been her stripper name if MTV didn’t cast her.
LA Candy gets delivered by bus from Nebraska three times each week.
I understand that in some countries, the film will be titled RA Candy.
In East L.A. she’s referred to as a Chiclet.
LA Candy? Another fucking French film?
I just hope there’s never a book called L.A. Gigandet.
Conrad will be exec producer through her Blue Eyed Girl Prods.
Was “Master Race Incorporated” already taken?
Hey Oski, please email filmdrunkards@hotmail.com
L.A. Candy makes the traffic signs talk to you and like “do wah diddy”
L.A. Candy is Roman Polanski’s aphrodisiac.
Reading that excerpt actually made His toothache WORSE. WHY DOES IT BURN? WHY DOES IT BURN???
Secret messages? Al, dont talk about PFC!!!
L.A. Candy tastes of desperation and Botox, with a hint of has been.
What!? Wasn’t me, man. It was like that when I got here.
Oh, wait, Robo! Why did I think you were Al? Where are my underwear?
Why does my butthole hurt? Robo?
L.A. also has a hint of smog with a drive by after taste.
She’s stealing my grandma’s clothes!
Cupcake Cat had a cameo in Deadwood, I think that’s what’s confusing you.
Eibmoz says:
Why does my butthole hurt? Robo?
Because you can’t digest LA Candy, like corn.
L.A. candy is what your grandpa gives you as he reflects back on the days of doing summer stock.
L.A. Candy should not be confused with the Cajun flavored “La Candy”
New up, better than “real” Twilight
This calls for an old fashioned book/people burning!
Haha, I love you, matches.
v.a.n. candy tastes like rape.
[banner pic]
Take the shot, for the love of God, TAKE THE SHOT!!!
Bowen said. “We loved her take. Her book is an honest portrayal of what it must be like to set out to be normal, then sign on to become famous and eventually realize, wow, this isn’t at all what I’d planned for myself.”
Sounds like somebody took the blue pill.