(Where you going, stupid?  All the good stuff’s under the water.)

After the jump, Wolverine’s ne’er-do-well, heroin-addict cousin Freddy Krueger is back in the trailer for the new Nightmare on Elm Street remake from Michael Bay’s production company.  Michael is desperate for cash these days, as his C4 habit is up to four bricks a day.

After being burned alive by a mob of angry parents, a pre-school gardener/caretaker named Freddy returns for revenge against the children, now 18 years old, that accused him of sexual abuse. But was Freddy a child molester or was he falsely accused? This is the central question and main addition to the film’s plot. Freddy doesn’t have many lines, but that isn’t all that surprising considering that the film’s producers have said the character doesn’t joke around. [ScreenRant]

So if you were thinking that this is going to be badass because Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen‘s Rorschach) is playing Freddy, also keep in mind that the idea behind it was that Nightmare on Elm Street could be improved by making it more serious. Which is a great idea. I’ve always said this would be better if the plot hinged on whether the guy that kills people in their dreams was a molester. Also, I think if you’re rich enough to go to a pre-school that has a full-time white gardener, you deserve to get molested every now and then just so you don’t get a big head.