09.14.09 NIC CAGE REPLACED BY A GERMAN BASTERD
We were all pretty disappointed when Nic Cage dropped out of Seth Rogen and Michel Gondry’s The Green Hornet last week when he and Sony couldn’t come to a deal. But now that Christoph Waltz has taken his place, everyone’s pretty happy. See? Everything happens for a reason. Ha, just kidding. Next time someone tells you that, take a dump in their fishtank, then see what they say.
I’m told that ICM’s actor Christoph Waltz who won Best Actor at the Cannes Film Festival for playing a Nazi in Inglourious Basterds (and is a shoo-in for an Oscar nomination) has now been cast as villain Chudnofsky in Sony’s The Green Hornet opposite Seth Rogen and Cameron Diaz. Since Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds came out — and crossed the $100M mark this weekend – Waltz has been offered a lot of big movies by a lot of big directors. And he’s getting big bucks now. How great he’s found success at age 52. [DeadlineHollywoodDaily]
‘Chudnofsky’, of course, was Darren Aronofsky’s nickname at clown college. Anyway, Waltz definitely adds some acting chops to the picture, though the whattafuh? factor (which is especially important when you’ve already got Seth Rogen playing the Green Hornet) would’ve been higher with Cage. But from what I hear, Waltz isn’t the only one bringing home the big bucks these days. Why, just this weekend, Gary Busey headbutted two of them to death. Later it turned out one of them was just Nic Cage dressed as a bear, but Busey said it still counts.
[picture source = geektyrant]
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/KickAssFinalPoster-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/AndySamberg-Nic-Cage-150x150.jpg)
There are 24 comments about:
NIC CAGE REPLACED BY A GERMAN BASTERD
Chudnofsky sounds like what surfers in the 90s would have called a hotdog or something.
IT’S A BINGO! :D
And with a name like Chudnofsky, do you have any choice but to become a villain?
Well, I guess you could change your name. But then there wouldn’t be a movie.
ultimately this is a movie about a series of guys chosen at random for some shallow definition of character given a super power that is defeated by anything yellow (the sun)?
Christoph Waltz is so sure of shit that he took the “er” off his first name because that’s the sound pussies make when they can’t decide.
I don’t have a fish tank. Use my chest instead?
but does chudnofsky beat women or scare sassy older black nurses?
Christoph Waltz only signed on to this movie because it was the easiest place to find Jews.
[types chudnofsky into Urban Dictionary]
Chudnofsky: Spanking into one’s hand then tossing ejaculate skyward and trying to catch it in your mouth like Orvile Reddenbacher catching a piece of popcorn.
Ah.
Crapbasket, I thought that was the Marv Albert?
If the Marv Albert doesn’t involve wearing women’s underwear and biting chicks in the back I will eat my shoe.
I was under the impression that Chudnofsky was Cage’s sex tourism penis pet name. He has the littlest ones call it “mister”.
That’ll have to change.
“Christoph Waltz” was the original name of the C-Walk.
A Chudnofsky is a jump in ice skating originating from the inside toe pick and ending with flipping the judges off and grabbing your crotch. They’re not worth many points in competition, so people rarely attempt it.
Ya, swi is right Jiri, The MA is all about cross dressing and abusing prostitutes.
heh he hehe he
*splooge*
Strangely, “chudnofsky” is also what people say after you sneeze in Estonia.
The only reason* Waltz got the best actor award in Cannes is because they’re all fucking Vichy.
*seriously though, the guy deserves an Oscar.
Marv and I have a different name for cross dressing and abusing prostitutes. Saturday night.
C’mon now, abusing prostitutes isn’t really abuse. I mean, they are getting paid.
If Christoph Waltz wins an Oscar for Inglourious Basterds, Kanye West will just jump on stage and say Beyonce’s performance in “Obsessed” was one of the best ever. “But Kanye,” they’ll say, “Beyonce is a woman, they have a different category.” And then Kanye will just stare blankly for a few seconds before jumping into a karate stance.
Prostitutes don’t have souls so it’s not technically abuse. Or at least that’s what my pimp tells me *single tear*.
And yes he does deserve the Oscar. If only for making me not feel so proud of my elementary school level knowledge of German (and English as well I suppose).
When Seth Rogen heard that Christoph Waltz was casted in the Green Hornet, he immediately hid under the set’s floorboards.
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