09.29.09 MEL GIBSON PLAYING WITH HIS BEAVER

I just got fired from work for looking at fisting pics. :(

I hope he washes up before shaking hands with anybody.

The mighty beaver is a noble symbol of industriousness, ingenuity and perseverance.
Don’t be dissing the beaver.*

*Go ahead, diss the beaver

The film was originally to be called The Aardvark but Mel Gibson thought its nose was too big.

Recognize that smell? It smells like seven layers, that beaver eats Taco Bell!

He got Jo-Jo after Chin Chin the Jap Hating River Carp passed.

ROFLKOTAL! Look for a cameo of Him with a targ puppet that has a Ferngi accent….GET IT??? WHA HA HA HA HAAAAA!

Not only does he speak through the puppet, but his bodily functions are carried out through it too. I know what that’s like though. I’ve been known to blame my farts on the beaver too…

He was gonna get a Koala until he learned those little Jew bastards have pockets to line with his gold.

I was wondering how long it would take before they came out with a less subtle sequel to ‘What Women Want’.

Jodi Foster’s puppet uses a different hole.

It’s been a few weeks since I had beaver all over my hand.

Full condom box :(

English beavers can only chew on soft wood because their teeth are fucked up.

Beaver?! Don’t hardly know h…
[sinkhole opens beneath Crappy's desk. Crappy disappears screaming into churning hole. Morlocks feast.]

Crappy-I feel your pain. I bought a Trojan vibrating ring to use on my anniversary (har har), and it is still in the box.

}}:>(

English beavers have to boil their wood because of their crooked ass teeth.

[dickstep dance]
hehe *splooge*

Al-It checks it’s FB messages, it does this whenever it is told!

Fek, I called that, didn’t I?

Perhaps you should get your Polanski on, broham.

Let’s look at the facts here…

Troubled father and CEO controlling puppet that is a universally accepted euphemism for pubic hair.

I’m pretty sure this story is about Dick Cheney.

Fek – now He is being told.

Haha, I love you, JoJo.

*sobbing*

Too soon, dude!

*tears Ryan Gosling poster off the wall, jumps out window*

If Jodie wants to work out her cunt issues on the end of somebody’s arm, it should be mine. E-Harmony hadn’t heard of the “disneyland butch” descriptive until I came along.

Hey guys, what’s u*crushed by falling Burnsy*

If this were an indie flick, his life would fall apart right before he meets a girl who speaks through a rooster marionette played by Zooey Deschanel.

Nah, I live on the first floor.

Okay, but I was 70 feet underground.

The optional title for this movie is Sleeve it to Beaver.

Hey, Mel pulled a Wynona and stole her big, brown beaver!

That beaver better be of age, we dont want anyone else Polanski’d around here.

It’s okay, Eib. The beaver’s family has forgiven him. The beaver has forgiven him. The rest of the world has forgiven him!

That beaver looks like he has a six-pack.

I’d guess LaBatt’s…

I wanna see Brett Ratner take Mel Gibson to Auschvitz.

first it was JuJu, the goat who causes miscarriages, now its JoJo the Jew-Hating Beaver, whats next, JiJi the human centipede who lights his farts?

Twenty bucks says both Mel and that beaver are shouting something that contains the phrase “the Jews that run Hollywood”.

Frank Drebin: Nice beaver

Mel Gibson: Thanks, i had it stuffed.

NOW FOR THE COMEDIC STYLINGS OF GIBSON AND JOJO!

Gibson: Thank you! Thank you everybody!

JoJo: Hey Mel, what do you call it when Jews go Parasailing?

Gibson: I don’t know what do you call it?

JoJo: Flying a kike.

*rimshot*

Gibson: We’re here all week folks!

Its hard for JoJo to build a home since Jews run all the wood.

Nice to see the Caddyshack gopher make his big screen comeback…even though he’s playing a different species and getting fist raped by Mel Gibson.