(“The f’ckin’ leads are weak???”)

That’s one of my favorite headlines I’ve ever had to write.  It’s true. Just to reiterate: Disney was paying David Mamet to write a movie about a girl who dies in the Holocaust and they rejected it because it was TOO DARK.

The writer who took on ethnic politics in the play “Race,” and sexual politics in works like “Oleanna,”  [not to mention the politics of Tim Allen learning Jiu-Jitsu in Redbelt. -Ed.] takes on modern anti-Semitism in “The Diary of Anne Frank.”

But the screenplay is not a retelling of the famous Holocaust drama taken from the diaries of Frank, but about a contemporary Jewish girl who goes to Israel and learns about the traumas of suicide bombing.  “It’s very intense, and dark and scary,” said the executive. “It’s not a film version of ‘The Diary of Anne Frank.’ The story evolved into something more intense.” [TheWrap]

That’s a shame, Disney, it really is.  You wanted a guy to write a movie about Nazis murdering a little girl, and here the guy gives you something intense and scary.  What’s wrong with people these days.  Anyway, I think the obvious solution is to make the Nazis a pack of wolves and the Franks a family of squirrels.  It’ll still be scary, but now the characters will be covered in soft fur.