09.25.09 DISNEY SAYS MAMET’S ANNE FRANK ‘TOO DARK’
(”The f’ckin’ leads are weak???”)
That’s one of my favorite headlines I’ve ever had to write. It’s true. Just to reiterate: Disney was paying David Mamet to write a movie about a girl who dies in the Holocaust and they rejected it because it was TOO DARK.
The writer who took on ethnic politics in the play “Race,” and sexual politics in works like “Oleanna,” [not to mention the politics of Tim Allen learning Jiu-Jitsu in Redbelt. -Ed.] takes on modern anti-Semitism in “The Diary of Anne Frank.”
But the screenplay is not a retelling of the famous Holocaust drama taken from the diaries of Frank, but about a contemporary Jewish girl who goes to Israel and learns about the traumas of suicide bombing. “It’s very intense, and dark and scary,” said the executive. “It’s not a film version of ‘The Diary of Anne Frank.’ The story evolved into something more intense.” [TheWrap]
That’s a shame, Disney, it really is. You wanted a guy to write a movie about Nazis murdering a little girl, and here the guy gives you something intense and scary. What’s wrong with people these days. Anyway, I think the obvious solution is to make the Nazis a pack of wolves and the Franks a family of squirrels. It’ll still be scary, but now the characters will be covered in soft fur.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/eddiemurphy-imaginethat-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/09/jacksparrow-orlandobloom-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/09/vests-zacefron-150x150.jpg)
There are 40 comments about:
DISNEY SAYS MAMET’S ANNE FRANK ‘TOO DARK’
Hey, nice Mamet!
I’m sure that at some point Disney and Mamet will iron out a solution. A final solution, if you will.
It’s never as scary when the characters are covered with soft fur. Hey, it worked in Robin Hood.
No, no. That’s just how Kevin Costner looks normally, they didn’t add anything.
ERZATZ COFFEE IS FOR CLOSERS, little girl.
Nazi: PUT…THAT…DRADDLE…DOWN! Draddles for Jews. You call yourself a Goyem you son of a bitch?
Spike Lee doesn’t think this is dark enough.
R Kelly doesn’t think this is yellow enough.
Mamet’s response: Awwwwschwitz!
Hit the showers.
Sounds like Mamet got jewed out of a good script.
Man…that movie sounds like a gas.
I bet Mamet took a long shower after that news.
That’s fitting, considering Disney has the Korean translation of “Arbeit Macht Frei” above the doors of their overseas animation studio.
The executives at Disney rejected The Dairy of Anne Frank because they are lactose intolerant.
I could just see the cute animal version of this story. Goebbels is played by a turkey. Hitler is a kitty. I guess Frank would have to be a Dachshund.
Also, thanks to Walt Disney’s influence from beyond the grave, the rest of the Jews are portrayed as lemmings.
Disney should give this to Tyler Perry. Just on the chance we might see Madea get beaten to within an inch of her life and then thrown into a gas shower.
The title will obviously be I can Jew Bad All by Myself.
He’s going to rewrite it with Anne Frank hiding out with a clan of vampires while Nazi werewolves comb the countryside. The working title, you ask? Heilight
This “disney” place sounds like a pretty cool country club.
I don’t know what all der fuhrer about this is.
Nazi: Time to die.
Anne Frank: It’s 6 o’clock
Nazi: P.M., and it’s also time to die.
Anne Frank: So it’s two times?
Nazi: But this is the first time I’ve been here.
Anne Frank: I mean two times at once.
Nazi: At once? Right away?
Anne Frank: Simultaneously.
Nazi: *bang* *bang* *whistles*
Disney asked him to add a scene at the end where, just when the Nazi’s discover Frank and her family’s location, The Avengers bust in through the ceiling and save them. Then Spiderman makes a wisecrack about sour Krauts.
If they rewrote this with Mel Gibson and Chris Klein and have it center around the Gestapo…they could call it “Ve Vere Soldiers”.
They could make it a Blaxploitation flick starring Pam Grier and call it: “‘Fro Lein”.
The Diarrhea of Anne Frank would make a shit movie.
Mamet had difficulty here cause everyone in his script was frank.
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