09.04.09 THE MOST ANNOYINGLY HIPSTER TRAILER EVER

I want to do Kristen from behind while pulling on her Wiig.

At least Neo-Nazi death metal is still about the music man. They haven’t sacrificed their message for mainstream acceptance and all the trappings of wealth that make an artist lose his voice, maaaan.

This trailer just found a vinyl copy of The Smiths “Meat Is Murder.”

Bob Dylan’s songs seems to just be a collection of noises he makes when he gets out of bed in the morning.

The first 20 minutes of this is actually a blank screen. The directors wisely planned on the audience being late on account of struggling to put on their girlfriend’s jeans.

This trailer hopes you come to its Arbor Day party. Or not. Whatever.

Plus, you can find neo-nazi death metal on iTunes. See if the Utah Nagila song is on there. I didn’t think so, Jew.

For the purposes of my previous comment, assume a Jew just walked into my living room. Any Jew’ll do.*

* also my motto on a Friday night

Kristen Wiig is cute. I’d like to folk her in the art house.

You make me want to vote Republican.

I always imagined you whispering that into my ear.

save a spider, kill a hipster

This movie needs more Eli Roth hitting people with a bat.

Wait, I’ve seen this. What happened to the cardboard MRI machine?

People that conform to non-conformity make Him seethe and His blood boil. If they would just knock off the “pretentious individual thinker” routine and just admit that the only way they know how to “be cool” (and trust Him, these people want to be cool) is to act like a douchebag, dress like a homeless 13 year old boy, and listen to shit music that only other retards like themselves enjoy, the hypocrisy factor of being a “hipster” would decrease by amount so tremendous you could fit Ker’Splatt’s collection of Rainbow Brite pornography and adult novelty items into it!

Jules was gonna walk the earth but then saw how fucking nasty and lame hippies were and changed his mind.

I’d go to this movie with a hipster chick, cringing at all the places where she laughs only if we get to reverse roles later with ‘American Psycho’.

…and I get to shoot her in the head with a nail gun.

Donk-shoot her in the head with a nail gun before you carry her around to the movies.

A black hippie is called a Love Jones Chic
A Hispanic hippie is called an Ortega
An Asian hippie is called a Joy Luck Chic

If a teenager wearing vintage clothing is a “hipster”, does that make an old person wearing vintage clothing an “artificial hipster”?

A Native American hippie is called a Native American.

Donk, before you shoot her with a nail gun, give her a detailed analysis of smash-hit Huey Lewis song, “Hipster Be Square”.

That should set the tone nicely.

Someone stole my “the”.

Fucking disrespectful brats…

AND someone switched out my “mood” for “tone”.

This place is haunted. I’ll be under my bed.

This trailer has six roommates and still hasn’t paid rent since May.

After seeing Juno and this trailer, im praying for a Hipstercaust.