09.22.09 HIGHLANDER TO GET FAST, FURIOUS, SPARKLY

That’s all we need in a Highlander movie, a guy who can take something from masculine to homoerotic in 4.3 seconds. I bet the swordfights in this movie are something else…

Gee, the only way this could turn out worse would be if they hired Randi Mayem Singer for the script

THAT IS IT! I NEED THE BTK VAN! NOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are no female immortals because they lose their heads once a month.

*Rolls up, honks horn and activates wheelchair lift*

Hop in Erswi, where we headed?

Actually, come to think of it, Highlander was always kind of homoerotic.

Get head from a guy, have something called a “quickening” in which your body convulses and you feel very good afterward. Don’t do it at church because it doesn’t quite work right that way.

This time, instead of having a Scotsman play an Egyptian Spaniard and a French(?) guy playing a Scotsman, we’ll have Vin Diesel playing someone who can read and write.

This spring… Randi Mayem Singer presents… Anthony Anderson, Jerry O’Connell and Martin Short in… Highlander: There Can Be Only Fun!

I’ll take Adrian Paul over Lambert or Tatum any day. Just sayin’. In case he’s reading this. Seems like everyone else is these days.

They should just skip the first one and go straight to remaking the sequel.

It’s not like they could make it worse.

Go with the original cast. Roxanne Hart can’t look much worse peeled like a grape than in ‘85.

And I mean that in the best possible way.

“There can be only one” is just an anathema to Hollywood.

$20 says the swords disappear, and you have to blow their heads off like a zombie.

If this was a Randi Mayer Singer script, it should be called Sieg Heilander

Good heavens, Adrian Paul. I had forgotten that Canadadians wouldn’t let this thing die.

Freddie Mercury thinks this idea is gay.

OMG Adrian Paul:

“I would love to play a vampire because they are so sexual. And they are the dark side of human thought. What a possibility to play someone that can see what your heart is doing, feel the blood running through your veins, know what you are thinking, and have all the experience of years and years. It would be so interesting.” (from a 1990 interview)

Nevermind, I hate him now.

In the song, at the 2:47 mark Freddy sings “Bring on the girls!” But then says something unintelligible at the 2:51 mark that sounds like “And my man!”

Five words:

Jason. Statham. Is. The. Highlander!

Oski: send me an email at filmdrunkards@hotmail.com

I AM IMMORTAL / I HAVE INSIDE ME BLOOD OF KINGS…

So thats how Freddie Mercury got AIDS….

Toyota is going to be all over this movie’s dick for product placements.

Immortal, usually it’s the blood of queens that carries AIDS.

Holy crap Donk, The Stath would be brilliant. With Dany Trejo as the bad guy.

I bet if they offer George Lucas a twinkie (sexual or otherwise) they could get away with using light sabers.

FYI, Vince: “Blood of Kings” was 80s slang for “Semen of An Entire Football Team”.

But don’t let that stop you singing in your cool full-length coat!

Also, “I AM IMMORTAL / I HAVE INSIDE ME BLOOD OF KINGS…” is what I scream right before I’m about to take a test. I’m pretty sure I’ve caused a good number of students to fail classes from the creepy factor.

Fuck, I just stepped on the dick of an Immortal :(

If you think Vince’s mouth guitar solo is good, you should see his finger pianist.

*plays Taps on the kazoo* I’m going to do that every time a fucking remake is mentioned.

Talking of kazoos; they should get these guys for the soundtrack: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC65ufGUvKM

I hope in this “reimagination” it turns out that the Immortals were really aliens from a dying planet!

Oh, wait…

Yay I moved last week and just go my internet installed. I’m glad the first thing i used it for was to watch the theme from highlander. Vince, that was awesome thanks for posting it.

Twighlander: There Can Be Only Wan.

Giantcow – if this the first thing you’ve seen today, you must scroll down to the Hitler post.

Giantcow, you went for a week without internet and the first site you hit was filmdrunk instead of porn? You have a hardier constitution than myself good sir(or madam).

You can’t die you fool, you’re insoluble

Klingonder: There can be only BONG!!!!

Shit! I almost forgot….,
…heh *splooge* heh

Thanks AL, I checked out the Hilter post, it was hilarious. I forgot Big Mamma’s House 3 was actually being made. I need to start drinking immediately so I can forget that fact again.

I just need to start drinking, like, now.

I’d go with Simon Pegg as the Highlander, and Viggo Mortensen as The Kurgan. And the imitation Bella womb can be the haggis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLAhVeMpHjg

Is Hollywood ever going to have an original idea agian? Remaking bad movies for idiots is one thing. Remaking a cult classic with Channing Tatum!!! I think that is a sign of the world ending… Call NASA there has to be an comet heading our way

wan [won]

–adjective
1. of an unnatural or sickly pallor; pallid; lacking color: His wan face suddenly flushed.
2. showing or suggesting ill health, fatigue, unhappiness, etc.: a wan look; a wan smile.
3. lacking in forcefulness, competence, or effectiveness: their wan attempts to organize the alumni.
4. Archaic.
a. dark or gloomy.
b. pale in color or hue.

Just sayin’…

Oh, and Twighlander is an amalgam of “Twilight” and “Highlander”.

Just in case anyone was, y’know, mentally deficient.

Would it help if I changed my name to “Randi Macho-Mayhem Singer”?

*Cuts off movie exec’s head with sword* I don’t feel smarter or more powerful. But I think I’m addicted to coke.

Hey, invisible Zombie Jesus, may I please borrow your sword?

If it makes you feel better, spazmo, i got it. Didn’t laugh, but i got it.