(In retrospect, “Cutie McPretty” wasn’t the most intimidating nickname)
The last we heard about Rampage playing BA Baracus in the A-Team movie, The Sun had reported he’d been cast, then his publicist denied it. His casting has since been de-facto confirmed as he pulled out (and Rampage hates pulling out) of his fight at UFC 107 so he could film the movie. Which prompted a typical reaction from UFC president and awesome cuss-word-user Dana White:
“I hate it with a [expletive] passion…You’re a fighter; you’re not a movie star. It’s so [expletive] funny because fighters want to be movie stars, and movie stars want to act like they’re fighters. Get a [expletive] grip. You’re a fighter, and you’re (not) a [expletive] movie star. Alright?” [via Fightlinker]
Someone once gave the same speech to Kate Hudson. In sexier news, Steven Soderbergh has cast Gina Carano in his aptly titled “Knockout,” which makes me worry that she won’t have time to film the movie I wrote for her, “Rear Naked Choke.” (It’s autobiographical).
Scripted by Lem Dobbs, “Knockout” casts Carano as a girl from the wrong side of the tracks who is given a second chance to use her skills for constructive purposes. The film is a closer cousin to “La Femme Nikita” and “Kill Bill” than “Million Dollar Baby,” in that it doesn’t take place in the fight ring. Rather, Soderbergh considers the film as a flat out action film in the James Bond mold, and will shoot in locations around the world that include Ireland, Turkey and the U.S. [Variety via WatchKalibRun]
I could see Gina Carano as James Bond. She’d slap you on the ass and say, “Run along, darling, women are talking,” and you would because she could kick your ass, and to hide your boner. And finally, Tim Sylvia is a stand-in for Michael Myers in Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2 remake. Stand-ins are the people they use to play the back of an actor’s head, or to stand there on set and act like the person on days when that person isn’t actually being filmed. Meaning Sylvia, who last got knocked out by 48-year-old, has a film career that’s going about as well as his fighting career. Which is to say, please don’t hurt me I was just kidding I’ll suck yo dick.
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I’d like to get Carano in a Rear Naked Poke.
Dammit! They went with The MMA-Team idea?
I was hoping for the all-Canadian squad, The Eh?-Team.
Andre Orlovsky was thrilled at finding out he would indeed be in the “Nintendo Punch Out” movie as “Glass Joe”!
I’d rather see her in a sequel to The Girlfriend Experience, or maybe The Chuck Finley Story.
One time, I Googled Youtube and a Youtube video about Google came up. Weird, right?
Michael Bisping just got cast as the Andorian!
Trust Him, after UFC 100, that comment is HI-larious.
Quentin Jackson has signed on for another movie, too.
He will be starring in Rampage not as himself, but as a giant monkey who, along with a giant lizard and a giant werewolf, terrorizes the nation.
He will be starring in Rampage not as himself, but as a giant monkey
(…so…himself)
HEY FUCK YOU, THE UFF LIKES HIS ARLOVSKY JOKES!
I liked your Arlovsky joke, Fek.
I didn’t quite get the Andorian reference, though.
Are you familiar with Bisping’s UFC 100 fight? (if not, try to find the vid) Suckah ended up like an Andorian around Sarek, gnome sane? (Journey To Babel). WHERE’S BEEK?????
Yeah, because acting the actual role of Michael Myers is really difficult.
“Hurrr, stab this person while wearing coveralls! Be rigid. Hurrr.”
In kinda related news:
I. Want. A. Pet. Minotaur.
I see the actor who played The Black Knight in Holy Grail is back in the gym. He must be getting in shape for a new role. Is there a Vic Morrow biopic in production? Too soon?
John Cleese?
I’m confused.
I believe there is already a Vic Morrow TV show on the Food Network.
Wait for it…..[bit.ly]
I pity the fool who interviews me and doesn’t lte me rub my junk on their belly!!
[drops to one knee, karate like air punch]
Durst Motherfucker!
“So, Gina… I hear fighters need their protien and, well..”
Dana’s a pretty badass name for a guy.
If I wanted to see girls punching things, I’d venture out of my parents basement and go to a bar again. pfffft. No thanks.
Careful, Burnsy … Dana’ll Carveyou up.
Blart + Durst = Blurst.
I think you mean “Rear Naked, Choke” (It’s about Carradine). This would also be a good time to cross-promote Warming Glow’s article “Commas, More Important Than You Think”. Jackie D would be proud.