I posted the first clip earlier, and now Jason Reitman’s Up in the Air has a trailer. We see cameos from Zach Galifianakis, Danny “I’m in every movie now” McBride, and Jason Bateman, all of it set to a George Clooney voiceover that seems really deep, but it’s probably just the piano music.
“How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you’re carrying a backpack. Now, I want you to pack it with all the stuff you have in your life. You start with the little things: the shelves and drawers and nicknacks. Then you start adding larger stuff: clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV… Your backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. You go bigger. Your couch, your car, your home. I want you to stuff it all into that backpack. Now, I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office. Then you move into the people that you trust with your most intimate secrets. Brothers, your sisters, your parents, your children. And finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack. Feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake, your relationships are the heaviest components of your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets and compromises. The slower we move, the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other, to live symbiotically over a lifetime: star-crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We. Are. Not. Swans. We’re sharks.”
I bet the hardest part of this for Jason Reitman was figuring out how to pitch such a philosophical concept to a bunch of movie execs. But then one day he had an epiphany: “GEORGE CLOONEY… has a backpack… full of SHARKS.”

Pictured: The best JanSport ad ever. [video via /Film]



I bet you the only thing that Clooney puts in his back pack are rubbers and Valtrex.
Not backpacks George, duffel bags. And there should be some notes on shovel craft in that monologue, the holes, they don’t dig themselves.
Scott Peterson is anxiously awaiting this movie’s release.
According to the site ads only buff guys with ripped 6 packs get the chicks. Has anybody explained this to George. He must be starving for some tang right about now.
What’s that you say? Oh, they’re also attracted to money, fame, and power? He’s probably OK then.
Erswi-if ya got enough food stamps, you can get all the tang you want. QAPLAH!
I saw a longer cut where Clooney says you have to cut your wife’s fingers off and remove her teeth. He then sarcastically said you have to leave the bag in a dumpster because “nobody will find it there.” We all laughed except for some guy named Ryan sitting next to me.
Druish girls are attracted to money and power, and I have both.
“We. Are. Not. Swans. We’re sharks.”
Clooney’s pet name for his girlfriend just happens to be Jaws.
A bag of weed is all I need.
We. Are. Not. Swans. We’re sharks.
It’s about time somebody told the truth to all of those ugly little girls out there.
I try to keep a low amount of stuff I have in my life. Just enough shit to fit in a bindle.
I’d rather stuff my wife in a bindle sack. She’d be easier to carry around that way.
I stepped on Pauly’s bindle dick.
Lycan Up.
Stuff Your Wife In a Backpack is actually chapter 10 in OJ’s “If I Did It.”