You know those embarrassingly hyperbolic and self-important montages they do at the Oscars before they present an award? The ones designed to convince you that the recipient is the most important thing to happen to the universe since the big bang? Ever wondered how those could possibly get any worse? Answer: make the recipient BRETT RATNER and devote FIVE AND HALF MINUTES to how awesome he is. This apparently came from a Kodak ShowEast Award from 2004. The theme? A night of no credibility.
Reached for comment, Ratner tweeted “@officialTila Hay gurl, did u c my award vid?? awsome rite? LOLzone! letz do nachos sum time!! HOLLATCHABOI!
(thanks to Nino for finding this)
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I’d like to see him receive a lifetime Kodiak award.
Basically, when he steps on stage to receive it, he gets mauled by a bear.
I dare you to watch that with no audio for context without having a seizure.
I owe Brett an apology. Apparently there is a worse human being than him, and that person works at Kodak.
Other recipients include Dick Cheney, Mel Gibson, Bernie Madoff and Skeet Ulrich.
I have it on good authority that Brett Ratner runs a fake McG twitter.
Brett Ratner only accepts awards in the form of toys, fudge, or bacon.
I wish this was more like the Tom Cruise getting a Scientology award video.
Previously, the only awards Ratner had ever received were on XBoxLive.
Brett Ratner thinks Kodak is a palindrome.
Ratner won a Mtv Movie Award (the ones that look like a bucket of popcorn) but he turned it down, not because it wasn’t real popcorn, but because it wasn’t drenched in butter.
Brett Ratner loved Telly Savalas as Kodak.
Brett Ratner doesn’t know who Dak is, but is pretty sure that guy deserved to get knocked out.
Brett Ratner thinks Polaroids is what eskimos get from sitting on the ice too much.
Brett Ratner is pissed at Kodak because their cameras don’t actually disperse cheese before he takes a picture.
The budget for Brett Ratner’s next movie is only surpassed by his daily calorie intake.
Brett Ratner has bad skin, but it’s just as a tribute to Michael Jackson.
Brett Ratner also has a Doritos Lifetime Achievement Award.
Brett Ratner wears a Livestrong band on his left wrist and a gastric band on his right.
Ratner couldn’t pull of autofellatio, so this show was the next best thing.
Ratner got upset this past week when he had to recast “Sexy Black Honey POW” thanks to the Caster Semenya news. It’s been rumored he’s trying to get E’Dena Hines for it