FORGOTTEN CLASSIC: R.O.T.O.R.
09.24.09Today’s Forgotten Classic is 1989′s R.O.T.O.R., which stands for the awesomely nonsensical
Robotic
Officer
Tactical
Operation
Research
Basically, he’s like an evil version of Robocop, but instead of being made of shiny metal, he’s just a guy in a motorcycle suit with a bad mustache. He even carries the same kind of gun as Robocop, but I’m sure all the similarities were purely coincidental since Robocop came out the year before. In this clip, R.O.T.O.R. battles his nemesis, skunk-haired bull dyke. Also pay special attention to the delightfully loose editing and slow reaction shots that make everyone seem like they have the reflexes of a sloth with bell’s palsy. (trailer and more clips below).
Thanks to Fek’lhr for the tip
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/09/Gary-Busey-quigley-dog-collar-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/09/International-Guerillas-pakistan-150x150.jpg)
Robotic
Enforcer
Tactical
Attack
Research
Drone
I’d just like to say that “T.O.” is highlighted in whatever adware that you use. Yes, I love T.O!!! Thank God it’s advertised here in this post about a shitty movie!
Watching that video with no sound, my best guess would be that it was about a member of the Village People who had been brainwashed by Mormons into voting for Prop 8, but had such a hard time accepting his programming he turned violent and had to be destroyed by the same people who created him after teaming up with a lesbian in order to track him down in his natural habitat. Of course, since the Mormons are the good guys in this film, the lesbian had to die.
Am I at least close?
D.A.R.Y.L. would pwn this fool.
D.A.R.Y.L. would pwn this fool.
Based on the moustache, you’d have an easier time catching him if you used V.I.C.I.
Donk, spot on except that the lesbian didn’t have to die b/c the Mormons are the good guys. She had to die b/c she’s fucking repulsive.
Uggggghhhhhh.
“I’ll be back with the little boat” “The little boat?!?”
ROTOR?! I don’t hardly know…
[Space shuttle breaks up on reentry approach to Edwards Air Force Base. Debris hits Southwest Airlines 737 filled mostly with the debate and mock trial team from LA's Catholic high school Our Lady of the Emaculate Ointment. The 737 crashes into a field adjacent to Crappy's place of work. The explosion knocks over a power pole and short circuits with the T1 interwebs line. Current rushes up the line trough Crappy's computer and blows his ass threw his office wall into the break room where he smashes into the table under the coffee pot he just finished dipping his piss soaked balls into which falls unto his head a breaks]
Raping
Only
On
Small
Teenaged
Emo
Runaways
*sighs*
Holy hell. Alright, in the top clip, ROTOR draws a Magnum Research Desert Eagle (though it’s not possible to tell if it’s the .44 or .50 caliber), gets shot in the back, and falls forward holding a Smith and Wesson revolver. What the fuck?
Robocop used a Beretta M93R modified with a barrel extension and compensator, which would be accurate for the film as the M93R is capable of firing 3 round bursts.
In conclusion, totally different.
*mutters something incoherent, hits “play” on Delta Force, continues cleaning guns*
MiZ can’t count to ten without stopping after seven to exclaim that Oswald was a fag.
*offers Keyser Soze a cigarette*
+1 MiZ. I thought about mentioning this but having corrected Erswi on the Nic Cage picture last week i didn’t want to alert any authorities.
*resumes talking to knife
Yeah, I basically looked at it and said, “That looks kinda like the Robocop gun,” and then did no further research. I figured if I was wrong some dick would point it out in the comments section.
Haha. He means you, MiZ.
At least you know your audience. Have you ever considered writing screenplays?
Geez DNA, that shitty editing and and acting was all in the scheme of the auteur directors style, known as ROTOR craft.
Everyone has their quirks I guess. Black people narrate for everyone in movie theaters, I just scream “WHOLLY INACCURATE” when a character fires a single bullet and the slide locks back.
That bull dyke is currently competing for a million bucks on Survivor: Samoa under the name “Shambo”.
At least, I think it’s her … they all look the same to me.
Do you have the clip where he flies off in his ROFLCOPTR?
Technically, that is “skunk-mullet bull-dyke”. The Mighty Feklahr imagines she likes to go vannin’.
Gun related item in movies/TV shows that pisses me off immensely:
When somebody is armed with a 12 guage pump action shot gun, has three minutes of diaglogue with them, then to menace the character they rack the slide, and no round is ejected. HEY PUSSYSTICK! You just pointed an unloaded gun at somebody for three fucking minutes you toolbag!
Test Audiences reaction, “Really!? Oh, that’s…Oh. Really?!”
BTK, words just simply cannot describe how…out of context Skunk-mullet’s introduction to the movie is. (Yes, He has seen the whole thing.) Imagine Frodo gets to Mt. Doom only to have Sloth and Pee-Wee Herman confront him about covering your cough during flu season. It would be less awkward.
I’d like to R.O.T.O.Rooter her pipes.
Just wait until The Guyver shows up. ROTOR will shit the bed.
V.I.N.Cent would nail this dude.
Right in the Black Hole.
Plus that bull-dyke didn’t even engage the action bar release before chambering that first round. This movie is totally ridiculous, you guys.
Skunk Mullet Bull Dyke would ba an awesome name for a band.
Skunk-mullet bull-dyke ? Where I come from, that’s a lipstick lesbian. Really, don’t come here.
FYI, all honesty here, I consider myself a bit of a “really bad shitty movie connoisseur”, and I consider ROTOR to be the worst movie I have ever seen.
Holy shit guys, type Neverending Story Van into google and enjoy. Trailer Trish should be proud of what she started.
Really Fek? I remember seeing it as a kid, and even as a 10 year old boy thinking that it was terrible.
I still think Armageddon was worse.
Robocop, ROTOR, and a nun walk into a bar. Bartender says, “Hey, get them out of here! We don’t serve their kind!” And they shoot him in the face a few dozen times.
I miss the van people…
ROTOR: “Uh-oh. My GAYDAR is FUBAR. BRB* ”
(* Blows redneck’s balls)
I miss vannin’…
*continues dragging tin cup across cell bars*
Rapists Ohio™ Trust Only Roofies.
Drink
Urine
Rather (than)
See
This!
Given my hectic schedule of “research” and tending the armada, it took me until now to catch up – I still don’t see any TPB news, young man. You’ll be sorry when it breaks all the Canadian records and out-grosses our GNP*
* GNP not including weed**
** not including weed = $420,000 USD
It looks like Alexandra from the old Josie and the Pussycats cartoon is finally out and proud.