UPDATE: Moved to the top of the page, because this video is just that good. “I like to wear bright socks and am an avid Cleveland Browns fan.” You moist yet, ladies?

Man, wouldn’t it have been awesome to have been a single woman in the 80s?  Look at all these legit dudes you would’ve had to choose from!  I mean, a viking?  This guy?  Is that a denim jacket AND fingerless gloves?  Heck,I’d f that dude. Also: I guarantee one these guys fathered a FilmDrunkard. [via Ohhaveyouseenthis]

YOUR DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS:

  • College Football’s 40 hottest fanbases.  (40? That really narrows it down.  Come on, guys, I can only afford so much chloroform). |Bleacherreport|
  • Patton Oswalt is on the Adam Carolla podcast?  What God did I please! |AdamCarolla|
  • Ryan_Gosling got booted off Twitter, but he’s been reborn as The_Baby_Goose.  He’s no Nick Nolte’s Mugshot, but still. |Twitter/The_Baby_Goose|
  • A brief history of Kanye meltdowns. |GetBack|
  • Megan Fox still pandering. If she wants to win me over, she knows what she needs to do. *points to crotch*  |ComicsAlliance|
  • F’cking Movie Reviews has an iPhone App.  A f’cking iPhone App, one might say. |FingmovieReviews|
  • G4′s 10 hottest women of the web. Jesus Christ, did they really use Kel Mitchell for that panel?  |G4|
  • A 56-year-old virgin attending a town hall meeting?  Color me surprised.  Wait, did she say “technically”?  Excuse me, I need to go vomit and scream into my pillow for a while. |HolyTaco|
  • Global warming may be hazardous to your beer.  Can’t we just an invent a planet cozy?  Preferably one that says “No Fat Chicks.”  |Atom|
  • Fun “Obama with a light saber” images.  Haha, it almost makes me forget that horrible health care bill!  |ScreenJunkies|