(Oh, hello. I’m film actor Chow Yun-Fat, bringing you some wisdom of the Orient: it’s time you and your family had a serious discussion about Liberty Mutual.)
This is the first trailer for Confucius, starring Chow Yun-Fat, directed by Hu Mei (Who, me? AHAHAHAHAHA! *sigh*), no release date yet. The trailer doesn’t have subtitles, but that’s okay because there’s no dialog, just lots of shots of Chow Yun-Fat looking thoughtful and having a beard, a style still emulated by unemployed coffee shop hipsters everywhere. Confucius, of course, is the legendary Chinese thinker born in 551 BC, whose teachings would influence Asian society for thousands of years. “Be good at math,” Confucius wrote, “and if someone in line in front of you for subway, elbow them in ribs, even if you are old.” He’s also credited for numerous proverbs, including “If man rack joke fo brog post, man must rery on tiled steleotype.” Legend has it he also put pee pee in someone’s Coke.
[via mTime]
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Chow Yun Fat is just awesome. The beard having is just a bonus.
Though he was in that DBZ abortion wasn’t he? Fuck.
Confucious say that if new poster to comments wind up being viral marketing campaign, it make many people sick.
Confucius say: When John Woo starting point of career…only down can career go.
I see his barber has mastered the Ice-Cream-Cone-With-Cherry-On-Top technique.
Confucius has determined that, being the only one there, he is the one you fucking think you are talkin’ to.
With movies like this, Mr. Yun Fat is eventually gonna be begging for chow.
Also awesome at having a beard? Tom Cruise.
Seems like the acting career of the Bulletproof Monk is in a Bulletproof Funk.
I never say any of these things.
At least they not get Korean pop star Rain to play me.
I would say that is more of a hair curtain than an actual beard.
This is just the Wong project for him.
Chow Yun-Fat is actually Chinese right? I’m cool with this then.
Why the fuck was he playing a Jap in Memoirs? Their eyes don’t even slant the same way. I know that from like third grade.
Confucius also wrote lots about putting lead in children’s toys.
His acting range seems a little Chow Yun-Slim…
“The trailer doesn’t have subtitles, but that’s okay because there’s no dialog, just lots of shots of Chow Yun-Fat looking thoughtful and having a beard”
Not much else about me that can be included in safe for work trailer. My fuck prowess put Wilt Chamberlain to shame.
I think the only actual Japanese person in Memoirs of a Geisha was Ken Watanabe.
Come to think of it, he’s pretty much the go-to Japanese actor for Hollywood, huh?
Hope they get good stunt double. I invented parkour.
Of all my wisdon, I still cannot figure out your baseball. How can man with four balls walk?
That’s a shame Patty. Everybody knows that Gedde Watanabe should be the go-to Jap.
Everybody knows that Gedde Watanabe should be the go-to Jap.
Unless you’re looking for grooming tips, then I’d take George Takei.
Chow is nominated for best facial hair in a feature film along with that guy from Deathbed: The Bed That Eats People. True story!
As long as it’s not that guy from Heroes.
“Look at me, everybody! I’m a lovable, non-threatening stereotype!”
I noticed yall were talking about film drunking while driving a big rig the other day //guilty as charged
//fat trucker………let the stereotypes begin
//smoking marlboro red and chewing tobacco at same time
//hits construction barrels much to the chagrin of workers
And no I dont know Rooster.
Confucius says, “Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.”
C’mon guys, where are all the corny Confucius jokes?
AHS, none of that is important. Do hot chicks in convertibles show you their snatch? That’s the important thing here.
You guys remember that show Martial Law with Sammo Hung? Whenever I see Chow Yun Fat I think of Sammo Hung and then I think about Martial Law and how is it possible a fat Chinese guy who barely speaks english can become a LA cop. But then I remember how I got a bullshit ticket from a Vietnamese cop who spoke horrible english and I guess it is possible. Anyways, Sammo Hung was a fat Chinese cop in LA who used kung fu and the opening credits had the stereotypical “deedee deedee dee dee dee dee deeeee” music in it. LOL, his name was Sammo, like Sumo because he’s fat. But I don’t know about the Hung part. I mean even asian guys joke about having small penises. No wonder they like tentacle rape porn so much. What were we talking about?
Confucius says: When you stand on toilet, you’re high on pot. That’s the only way anyone would see this fucking movie.