09.27.09 COMMENTS OF THE WIN

(Yep, this is you, comments of the week winner. And yes, most of these chicks are friends of your aunt’s.)

What up, sluts.  Comments of the week time again.  Nominate for next week in the comments section below.  Anyway, let’s get this show on the road.  Starting things off, our favorite foreigner argentino continues the Randi-Mayem-Singer-is-the-Hitler-of-Screenwriters mini meme in the Highlander remake thread:

argentino says: If this was a Randi Mayer Singer script, it would be called Sieg Heilander.

Get it? It’s funny because he implied she was a Nazi. (Maybe you had to be there?)  And being an Argentino, he’d know something about Nazis.  Phew, that was hopelessly esoteric.  I hope it gets better from here.

Next up, smokeemifyagotem has an alternate title for Whip It in the ELLEN PAGE AND DREW BARRYMORE ARE LAZY LESBIANS thread:

SmokeEmIfYouGotEm says: 2 Girls 1 Flop

Ahh, two girls one cup, it’s truly the Citizen Kane of poop-eating videos.  Continuing on the theme, there was Pauly Dangerously in the MESSAGES DELETED TRAILER/LARRY COHEN REALLY LOVES MOVIES ABOUT PHONES thread:

Pauly Dangerously says: 
Larry Cohen’s computer’s search history just has one site: 2cans1string.com

Anyway, back to the Highlander thread.  Boy, I should really organize this better.

Charlie Br0nze says: “There can be only one” is just anathema to Hollywood.

Because it’s a remake?  +10 cleverness.  From STEVEN SPIELBERG IS A DIRTY STINKY WHORE, Jacktion! pays close attention to the banner picture, specifically George Lucas’ special neck gland.

Jacktion! says: George Lucas is getting ready to regurgitate food to feed Spielberg.

No you idiot, that’s where he stores the rocks that help him break down the bones and seeds that he eats before they can pass into his fourth stomach.  Ah, fat people.  Speaking of organs, here’s ChinoMoreno from the MEGAN FOX DOESN’T HAVE A SPECIAL VAGINA thread:

ChinoMoreno says: If I was in middle management, I’d ask you into my orifice for a meating.

Mmm, sexy.  Do any of the men have a rebuttle?

Pauly Dangerously says: If I was in middle management, I’d put my mess-o-jizz in your inbox.

Hotness.  I picked this next one, from EMO DOG, not because I liked the song, which I do, but because the song reference was a good fit.

Patty Boots says: Emo Dog wishes someone would destroy his sweater. Just hold this thread as he walks away.

Meanwhile, Pauly again, in the He-Man and Barbie movies thread, proves the power of the F word.

Pauly Dangously: *makes Barbie and He-Man action figures 69* That’s what the f’ck I’m talking about.

Same thread:

Fek’lhr says: BY THE POWER OF NUMBSKULL!!!

RoboPanda says: They wanted to calculate a more accurate percentage for the brand awareness, but math is hard.

Get it?  Because Barbie… nevermind.   Elsewhere, puns abounded in the Lost Boys 3: Corey Feldman vs. DJ Dusk thread:

Chareth Cutestory says: I was into D.J. Dusk way before he started…sucking.

ChinoMoreno says: D.J. Dusk likes to bite but has been known to resort to scratching.

From the Super Food Broker Shuffle video:

Stone Soup says: The fact that they didn’t have an actual refrigerator perform a rap is criminal.

Wow.  How did they not think of that angle?  With a mind like that, you should be managing a southern food brokerage company.  Same thread:

Donkey Hodey says:
Yo my name is Donk and I’m here to say
There’s tons of food you can shove in your vajayjay
Hot dogs, bananas, cucumbers, carrots
Now bend over, bitch, time to grin n’ bear it.
Break it down now.
*beatboxes for a minute*
I’m fired, aren’t I?

It wasn’t funny until that last part.  And finally, we go to the David Mamet’s Diary of Anne Frank too dark for Disney thread:

Chino Moreno says: Spike Lee doesn’t think this is dark enough.

DeFrank says: I believe the actual Disney executive quote was:
“This flick is so Jewish and so dark we may as well call it ‘Sammy Davis Jr.’”

And finally:

Chareth Cutestory says: At least Mamet’s script was better than the one Diablo Cody turned in. Anne Frank was all, “Nice uniforms, Dussel-dorks.” Then she was murdered alongside her family. Empowerment!

Well done, noob.  That would’ve been good enough for the win, if only Randi “Mayhem” Singer, the Hitler of Screenwriters hadn’t showed up (or someone claiming to be her, anyway):

santamonicagary says: I just stumbled upon your little blog, and I thought… hmmm, who would I rather be, the Hitler of screenwriters, who wrote Mrs. Doubtfire, is getting paid gobs of cash to write Big Momma’s House 3, just sold a genie pitch and has tons of other stuff she’s happily doing, or a puny bitter wannabe jealously blogging from his basement to three people on the internet. Let’s see…

Puny?  Don’t make me bust out these guns.  Anyway, almost every comment after that was gold, so I have to give the MVP award to Ms. Big Momma’s House 3.