Welcome to another installment of Comments of the Week.  Living up to the funny you brought last week is going to be tough, so when you’re struggling with a joke or stretching for a pun, just remember: Spock is watching.  As always, nominate for next week in the comments section of this post.

Starting with Nic Cage humor, from the NIC CAGE LOOKS LIKE THE SAW GUY post, DeFrank nails his audition for Bad Lieutenant tagline writer:

DeFrank says: With a head this big, it’s easy to lose your mind.

Speaking of taglines, Stinky Peet from DAMON WAYANS JR??:

Stinky Peet says: Like they always say in Hollywood – where there’s a Will, there’s a Wayans.

And cheers again to DeFrank for not letting the obvious Michael Bay joke slip by in TRANSFORMERS CREW (who describe ‘spraying her down with glycerin’) HATES MEGAN FOX:

DeFrank says: Where most directors spray glycerin, Michael Bay sprays nitroglycerin.

And from DUELING ABE LINCOLNS, this one’s just made of win:

Crapbasket says: The actor playing Lincoln should make like a bullet and really get into Abe’s head.

Possibly the first and last time an actor’s process will ever sound exciting.  Speaking of jokes about an actor’s process, Donk in MICHAEL DOUGLAS IS LIBERACE:

Donkey Hodey says:
 “I swear to you, Michael amazed me. He crushed it.”
Crushed what?
Velvet
He crushed velvet?
Exactly

From PATRICK SWAYZE IN STEEL DAWN:

ChinoMoreno says:  I think the sand people just wanted to make a sandcastle with Swayze but he kicked the bucket. :(

Bad puns are just better when they’re about someone dying of cancer, don’t you think?  Next up, from MEGAN FOX LESBIAN KISS!!

Burnsy says: Lesbian Kiss wants to folk music all night and scissor every day.

And in POSTERS ARE BETTER IN GHANA, a newbie makes the comments of the week list in impressive fashion.

Charlie Meadows says: Painted on flour sacks? Am I to assume that nobody in Ghana owns a van?

Same post, ChinoMoreno gets, shall we say, un-PC.

ChinoMoreno says: Those posters turned out pretty cool considering that they had to paint them with all of those flies in their eyes.

Chino again in JESSICA SIMPSON HIRES ACE VENTURA:

ChinoMoreno says: A bimbo lost her baby!!

To which Fek’lhr adds:

Fek’lhr says: If this dog ever does come back, it will be robbing banks for the Symbionese Liberation Army.

And…

Fek’lhr says: More like “Pushing Up Daisy”.

In RIP HENRY GIBSON, ATidyLittleSum finds the Henry Gibson joke we were all searching for:

ATidyLittleSum says: Don’t worry, Henry. There is another Hollywood Gibson just perfect to take up the leadership of Illinois Nazis.

What was I saying about bad puns a while ago?  Stinky Peet in MASTURBATING GUNMAN:

Stinky Peet says: I was gonna audition for the role of the Masturbating Gunman, but it turns out all I have is a pee shooter.

Vodka says: 
Masturbating gunmen go through a lot of magazines.

From DAVID LYNCH’S ART SHOW SOUNDS AWESOME:

Jirish says: I just imagine that when no one else is around, Lynch sits in front of the tv watching reruns of “Friends” while sipping a chai latte and petting a cat. Also he’s wearing a Christmas sweater.

And finally, the top three.  These are so good they need no context.

Donkey Hodey says: Christoph Waltz is so sure of sh’t that he took the “er” off his first name because that’s the sound pussies make when they can’t decide.

Donkey Hodey says: NOBODY PUTS SWAYZE IN THE CORONER!

RoboPanda says: Hey, did you guys hear Patrick Swayze is going to be a guest on The View next week?  But he can only talk to Whoopie.

As Will Smith might say, “Now DAT’s how you comment!”