09.28.09 BRETT RATNER SAYS HE SEXED A CRIPPLE
Rush Hour/X3 director Brett Ratner for the most part is a boring kissass (sample Tweet: “@MorganePolanski i love u more than Miley!!!!!!!”) who makes crappy movies. But occasionally he’ll say pop up to say something ridiculous, like how he got his first BJ from a trannie, or more recently, that he lost his virginity to a paraplegic.
“When I sent the original script [for his segment of New York, I Love You] , which is autobiographical, the producers would not let me film it because, in the original ending, she (the girl) is a cripple, and they have sex as she’s hanging from a tree in Central Park. Everyone was freaking out over my short, so I changed it to where she wasn’t a cripple, but an actress pretending to be a cripple.”
In the disturbing scene, the girl, played by Olivia Thirlby, insists Ratner’s character (Yelchin) makes love to her, while she is suspended from a tree. [DailyExpress]
Brett Ratner also wrote a script about Hitler, but later had to change it to where it’d just be an actor pretending to be Hitler when he found out that the real Hitler was dead.
To sum up, Brett Ratner’s film is based on an old joke, but he decided to tell everyone it was autobiographical so they’d think he was cool. Because in his mind, getting blowjobs from dudes and having sex with paraplegics is better than eating burritos and watching the Disney Channel. He might even play a little Xbox today, if he has the energy. You know, if we get that far.
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There are 27 comments about:
BRETT RATNER SAYS HE SEXED A CRIPPLE
I will only watch this if the cripple chick is nicknamed “Wheels”.
Or “Cumdumpster”. Either one.
Riiight, like Ratner had enough game to land a cripple in his pre-director days.
Brett Ratner is from Florida. I thought they had outlawed sex with people suspended from trees a couple of years ago.
Added Ratner, “On my 21st birthday, I walked into my bar with a duck under my arm.”
Roman Polanski loves Miley more than him, though.
Oh, sure. Like Ratner’s had sex where he didn’t have to pay his partner.
Brett Ratner is penning a script for another autobiographical film about his pet chicken’s epic journey.
Well it’s autobiographical in that he hangs out in parks looking for cripples to have sex with. He just left out the part about them being homeless and desperate to trade oral for a $20 and hot cup of coffee.
Brett Ratner is casting a role about his lifelong best friend from Nantucket.
So the cripple is a swinger? Sweet.
Not the only time an innocent creature fled up a tree, trying to avoid sex with Brett Ratner.
This makes sense, though, because Brett Ratner’s icebreaker at parties is, “Hey, did you hear the one about me?”
Brett Ratner is writing a thriller about the time that he was trapped in his house when a mysterious stranger came to his rescue. It’s called, “Knock Knock, Who’s There.”
And this is how Brett Ratner met Charlie the Retarded Cat.
That encounter was the only time in that crippled girls life where she was glad to have no feeling from the waist down.
When Brett Ratner was a kid he threw a clock out the window. When his mom asked him why, he said, “I said, COCK. Not clock.”
*Ratner approaches cripple hanging from tree*
Do you have any Ratner in you? Would you like to?
Ratner’s favourite story to tell the ER nurses is how he was trying to save a kitten from a tree, but fell down naked ass-first on to a light bulb!
Having sex while hanging from a tree is called doing it doggywood style.
Since when is a dis-assembled manequin crippled?
Ratner was first attracted to the film because he thought the title of New York, I Love You was referring to the strip steak.
Brett Ratner is currently casting his autobiographical Christmas film about the black kid who got his bike.
Pretty sure she got the short end of the stick.
I bet it was just a low hanging fruit.
When Ratner likes something he puts his ringworm on it.
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